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Ask HN: How is your mental health?

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141–150 of 162 posts

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#141

Awful. My wife has a terminal illness and I'm struggling to work while taking care of her and shopping and cleaning and laundry and cooking and pets and school, etc. When I say I'm struggling to work, I'm struggling to be clear-headed and effective at work. My co-workers are AWESOME and are helping to shoulder the load, and the upper management has been great giving me time to deal with appointments. I am contributin…

Even minor relationship hiccups can cause me to work at 30% barely being able to focus. In those times I just think that a work culture that implicitly expects its participants to deliver a constant quality level can only be considered inhumane.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#142
For me it is very hard to tell how my mental health is. I usually track it by looking back at conversations with people I care about, which can get weird. When things get bad, I tend to dissociate a little as a sort of defense mechanism. This time last year, I was more of an automatic process than a person, which was caused by essentially being the only person responsible for maintaining undocumented legacy software with a very critical manager who had never managed a developer before and didn't understand the requests he was making. This combined with an expensive chronic medical condition and the inability to save enough money to support myself if he finally fired me caused me to basically check out.

Now things have completely flipped, and it's pretty confusing. I got a job that I like and switched industries from healthcare infrastructure to manufacturing, and I actually believe in my company / like my manager / make a little more money, and by living in a house with 4 friends I've known forever I'm saving a ton. But I also have a 2.5 hour round-trip commute, and live in a city with such bad infrastructure that things like getting groceries have a huge amount of friction associated with them.

The weird thing is that the tiredness/lack of spare time/time dilation that comes with a living situation like this feels like dissociation, and the fact that I can't move forward with my previous goals effectively makes me feel like I am atrophying as a person. I'll probably do this for another year or so.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't buy mindfulness in the slightest > I write down important things that are nagging at me Sounds like you buy it at least a bit.

There can be overlap between methods doing CBT and mindfulness and I need to record my thoughts so I can have an honest conversation with my therapist. Like maybe I should have been clearer with that specific sentiment because what I really have an issue with isn't the Hindu idea of mindfulness but with a company provided mindfulness program or say the hundred million dollar Headspace App mindfulness idea. I'd person…

> my therapist who treat my data as health records and does everything on paper

The downside of this, of course, is that you are relying on physical security only. All of the data is plaintext.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#144

Awful. My wife has a terminal illness and I'm struggling to work while taking care of her and shopping and cleaning and laundry and cooking and pets and school, etc. When I say I'm struggling to work, I'm struggling to be clear-headed and effective at work. My co-workers are AWESOME and are helping to shoulder the load, and the upper management has been great giving me time to deal with appointments. I am contributin…

A loved one with a terminal illness is naturally going to take enough of your focus that you can't contribute as much as you otherwise could. Don't beat yourself up on that one, just enjoy the time you have left and focus on making as many memories as possible.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#145
post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

exercise, omg you have no idea how much this helps.

Is there something wrong with the way I jog? Because I don't find it to be making much of a difference. Same for cycling, walking, etc.

where do you jog? do you jog with someone? sometimes that makes a huge difference. I try to jog outside in the morning or during lunch.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#146

I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues. It can be as simple as self-doubt, especially if you're married with kids. I believe men suffer tremendously but never seek the necessary help. I'm lucky enough that my employer allows for free sessions, and I have and will continue to seek treatment since I benefited so much. It's important to note that you HAVE to want it. If you have any bit of do…

> I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues Citation very, very badly needed. Can't make the assertion that _everyone_ is screwed up in the head without evidence. I don't have issues; I get I'm a single datapoint, but your assertion was essentially that everyone's got them. So now you can think of one. I've got a happy life and everything's going well for me and my family. Hiccups here-and-th…

Okay, I'm wrong for saying that. I apologize. What I'm trying to say is that I would bet money everyone would benefit from some sort of counseling in their lifetime.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#147
post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

15 minutes is a really long time to meditate. Anyone who's new to it, I suggest starting with 30 seconds and work your way up to 15 in increments of 30 seconds to a minute. It's like starting with an empty bar when weightlifting.

Why don't you try any of these meditation with an open mind and let me know how many minutes were you able to meditate. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=meditation+sri+...

I've tried many of those exercises and I agree that you can easily do 15 minutes the first time. Consistency is the problem I found. When I started at 30 seconds and built up slowly, I found it much easier to build a habit and do it consistently. Again I use the weightlifting analogy - I can squat close to my body weight, without any warm up, when I'm out of shape. But I can only do it once and I need a week to recover and I'm likely to injure myself. If I start with the empty bar and increase weight gradually for a month, I can work out every other day and hit my target consistently.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#148
post #102

Going to weekly therapy is the only way I really track anything. I've been struggling a lot since my ex and I broke up last year. Earlier this year, I started thinking about how my dad treated me growing up and how it was (is) a type of emotional abuse. He's probably narcissistic. I'm sure it's a big factor in why I dated someone like my ex and why I've put up with so much shit in my relationships, friends, work. And…

I identify a lot with what you're saying. I'm one of just a couple females on a big engineering/product team and it often doesn't feel good.

If you're in the Bay Area would be happy to meet up for a coffee. I understand the desire to just want to stay home a lot too, so no pressure. Email in profile.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#149
Not great. I'm at an all time confidence low. In my personal life I feel like I'm not respected by the people closest to me. In my professional life I feel like I've moved to a role that I can't and don't want to grow in. For the first time in my career I do not like work. I feel stressed and overloaded with 'busy' work.

I was thinking of getting a life coach or something similar. Does anyone have experience with that?

To end on a positive note, I'm eating well (mainly a plant based diet) and working out more than normally within the last few years.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#150
post #44

Bad. I've suffered from depression for ages. I'm an academic teaching at a small college in a small rural town. I wish I could regularly see a therapist, but there's no one within an hour of where I live. Definitely feel trapped.

What kind of stuff do you teach? Do you enjoy teaching at least?
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