141–150 of 172 posts
A good deal of the advice in this thread is specialized to the sort of single males that make up the bulk of HN/Reddit/tech. As someone who is neither single nor male (I'm a trans woman,) I wanted to provide another viewpoint. So this isn't specifically in response to the OP, but as someone who has been there, I hope a passing Googler finds it. The people telling you to meditate or do cognitive-behavioral therapy are…
Find tasks of any sort at all that you can do. Do them, noting your success. Do this every day. Again, pay attention to successes. Recognize that you accomplish your goals, and expand on those goals.
For goals that take multiple days to accomplish, your first task is to plan by breaking the goal down into smaller tasks you can accomplish in a day. Appreciate completion of each of these, including the planning itself.
The book does a better job of pitching it & giving examples. The most relevant bit is in Chapter 8.
Personally have been going through this myself, and recently. Some things which make me feel better: * Finding my own independence to do things. I often tied my own activities to that of my partner. So many times I felt like I was WAITING for things, when I didn't need to be. * Find your own hobbies which are outside of work related things. I am interested in kite surfing for example. I've never done it, but I've beg…
I do a combination of low-impact HIIT (because I can watch TV while I do it :-) ) and push-ups + laying garhammers (because they make me look hawt - abs, pecs & arms.)
A good deal of the advice in this thread is specialized to the sort of single males that make up the bulk of HN/Reddit/tech. As someone who is neither single nor male (I'm a trans woman,) I wanted to provide another viewpoint. So this isn't specifically in response to the OP, but as someone who has been there, I hope a passing Googler finds it. The people telling you to meditate or do cognitive-behavioral therapy are…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Still: if you aren‘t willing to change, you won‘t. I know some who go from one to another place where they could, but they don‘t. They stay in they same story just shortly pretending then always claiming that the others are the problem. And I know also some who think that “being themselves“ means keep doing everything exactly like before.
In my own personal experience, I had an occasion where, almost by accident, I felt the absence of all my limiting thoughts, for a short spell. I get what is being suggested by "be yourself", but I also think people can have a lot of layers that need to be peeled back before that's even evident, and if you propel yourself forward through action and change, one's vantage point of what "being yourself" is may have a qua…
Many layers are always being peeled back, because it's an inherently hard problem. I mean, how should I act/live and what is the purpose?! It's not clear, but my idea is that psychological pain (or lack of) can be a compass as to whether our answers are on the right track. Being willing to change and shedding the limiting beliefs you identify with is part of realizing and discovering one's self.
That being said, whether one's beliefs and principles are justified will always remain an open question. I don't doubt that it's possible to have terrible beliefs and realize one's self as a smug asshole. I don't think (hope?) most of us would be comfortable with that.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
gonna need an explanation on how no fap is related to self esteem doc.
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articl...
There are some pseudo scientific stuff there but also some interesting points.
Take it with a grain of salt and make your own decision before jumping on any of these bandwagons
For reference:
Earlier quoted context omitted.
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articl...
Just a word of caution. This has been discussed previously couple of times on HN . There are some pseudo scientific stuff there but also some interesting points. Take it with a grain of salt and make your own decision before jumping on any of these bandwagons For reference: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5051892 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5946727
That's life. Take opportunities to practice your socialization, lunch meetings, trade shows, conventions, shopping, etc. Talking to fellow humans is easier when talking about something trivial like games.
Start somewhere, find situations where there are no worries about the outcomes, build from there. Doesn't hurt to practice on your own either.
All the posts below ignored one huge thing. I'm going to provide a list of actions that transformed my life when I was 19 and solved the problems you mentioned. How? These habits increased my confidence, calmed my mind, and increased self-awareness. Habits & systems are everything. Number 1 is the MOST important and is paramount. None of the rest will work without it: 1. https://www.reddit.com/r/nofap . Don't dismiss…
I've tried meditation on multiple occasions, using Headspace and other apps, as well as without any outside input. I've consistently meditated for over a month at times, but after that month, I still _hated_ it. I'm not someone who usually has a hard time getting into the habit of something, but I've never been able to get into meditating, and I never noticed any positive effects. Do you have any thoughts on my exper…
My confidence is as great as my height.. short