Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#131

Post by superdeeda » Wed, Jan 11, 2023, 11:25 PM UTC

madrox wrote: post #121

poulpy123 wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree with you on the general but agree on the specific here. I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry

I tend to agree with you. Hard to unpack all this nuance in an HN comment. I've found that there's a middle ground between "making" a child do something and being involved in their life.

Posting on forums about whether your adult child is tinkering or not is probably past that middle ground, to be honest.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#132

Post by superdeeda » Wed, Jan 11, 2023, 11:29 PM UTC

david38 wrote: post #59

strangattractor wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And sometimes heavy involvement with a Therapist later as an adult.

It’s a lot better to be wealthy and pay a few grand a year for therapy than to be always broke and unemployed.

This does not check out. Some of the happiest people I know are also some of the poorest people I know. And some of the unhappiest people I know are also some of the wealthiest people I know.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#133

Post by kundejenny » Thu, Jan 12, 2023, 10:14 AM UTC

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Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#134

Post by lordkrandel » Thu, Jan 12, 2023, 7:08 PM UTC

shanebellone wrote: post #129

lordkrandel wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're missing the main point: the rules for continued financial support don't dictate how adult a person is: how conscentious he can be, the hard decisions he can make, how he manages responsabilities with the people he cares about. Maybe the adult lives with the parents because it's the most adult thing to do and will will leave if these conditions are no longer met. And yet, you're judging those persons as "non-ad…

"Personally, independence defines adulthood." The word personally starts that sentence to indicate opinion. All opinion is biased. Yours is too.

Yeah, it's a discussion between people with opinions. Let's move on and define language now? Or shall I ask ChatGPT? And that's all, because this is starting to become boring, and I don't like to feed trolls.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#135

Post by steve_adams_86 » Tue, Jan 17, 2023, 6:03 AM UTC

anonreeeeplor wrote: post #126

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m not about to claim I’m particularly good at programming, but you absolutely nailed why I like it and, in a sense, why I can endure something that would otherwise be excruciatingly boring. I have a million things I want to do and programming can help me do them faster or better. Or it can help me explore different aspects of ideas in novel ways. I can generate art, automate a hydroponic garden, point my telescope…

I took one course for programming in college and it was so awful. I stopped going. Then I did a two week project to build a little game. That little game taught me more in two weeks than the whole semester. I took the tests and passed them no problem after doing that one little self directed game. If you find something that lights your fire, you learn 10,000x. Especially if you have ADHD or Aspergers or whatever. If…

> But I can’t always reliably find ways to trigger my interests.

Yeah, if only. Life would be much different.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#136

Post by derstander » Thu, Jan 19, 2023, 1:43 AM UTC

cweagans wrote: post #130

derstander wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> OP is talking about a full grown adult. Not a child. This is an interesting tangent to me. What makes a full grown adult? Is it being able to drive a car? Being able to serve in the military? Being able to drink? Vote? In the state where I grew up, these were all different ages. And then there’s the scientific notion of when the brain is “finished” developing and maturing in the mid- to late-20s.

In the context of the original ask, I would say "legally allowed to make their own gd decisions about what to study". No idea why OP feels the need to insert himself into that process.

That's fair, but certainly not my definition of a full grown adult.