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Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

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Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#131

Post by deterministic »

mumer101 wrote: post #89
DrThunder wrote: post #5

Habit. Stop looking for motivation to drive you. Sometimes it will and sometimes it won't. There's a pretty common saying that motivation is a result of doing stuff. You just do it whether you want to or not. I know that's simplistic but that's really all there is to it. Easy to understand but harder to implement. It helps me not to think too far into the future and break stuff down into daily goals so I don't get ov…

I have this suspicion that often people who thrive at "school" suck at doing things, their whole life they are getting programmed to: a) do things for an quick and clear reward b) always be in extremely well defined rules (when semester starts you see how people obsess over edge cases and their impact on grade with a professor) c) always do it for pleasing someone else and get their admiration (teachers, parents, pee…

Not my experience at all. I did really well in school and yet have a lot of drive to peruse my own projects and goals. I don’t need anybody to force me to do it.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#132

Post by deterministic »

ineedausername wrote: post #115
danShumway wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Just do it I think this is a little dismissive. The most successful people I know all learned to be productive and to break apart tasks. I don't think it's unreasonable for people who don't have that skill/muscle for whatever reason to try and figure out how to build it. It is possible to get better at this. And the "there's nothing to learn, just do it" argument that pops up so often in these kinds of threads to m…

You cannot better yourself :)

Not true at all. The only person who can better yourself is you. I became a much better person because I decided to put in the work. Nobody did it for me.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#133

Post by deterministic »

ineedausername wrote: post #126
danShumway wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a good opportunity to offer another tip that I don't see mentioned super-often on these threads: keep logs/records of your performance, so you can look back at how your life/habits have changed over time. Most habits form gradually and it can be hard to see them taking effect, and that can be really demotivating. For me, being able to look back at photos of what my house used to look like and being able to go…

I'm not sure I follow. I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it. I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

> I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

Not at all. It is very much real. I used to lack confidence as an overweight shy teenager and decided to start doing kick-boxing. It completely changed my life. Not only did I loose weight but I also learned that I can do so much more than I ever imagined. Walking into a ring to fight a 6’3” bouncer and realising that he was afraid of me blew my mind.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#134

Post by deterministic »

Keep a TO DO list of everything you want to do. Break it down into tiny small steps. And make this agreement with yourself:

Every day I will pick one boring tiny small step from the TO DO list and do it. And after that I can do whatever I want without feeling guilt.

Do one small step ea day and you will be blown away by how much you get done in a year.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#135

Post by ineedausername »

deterministic wrote: post #133
ineedausername wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I follow. I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it. I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

> I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho. Not at all. It is very much real. I used to lack confidence as an overweight shy teenager and decided to start doing kick-boxing. It completely changed my life. Not only did I loose weight but I also learned that I can do so much more than I ever imagined. Walking into a ring to fight a 6’3” bounc…

The way you guys define "better" is so obvious that I really thought you were talking about something more than that.

In terms of what you talk about, confidence, muscle, productivity even... these are ways to become a better narcissist. But a better person? Nah... I'd argue you're worse now that your ego is pumped.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#137

Post by ineedausername »

deterministic wrote: post #132
ineedausername wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You cannot better yourself :)

Not true at all. The only person who can better yourself is you. I became a much better person because I decided to put in the work. Nobody did it for me.

Work doesn't make you a better person. I don't think you became a better person although I certainly don't know you.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#138

Post by danShumway »

ineedausername wrote: post #135
deterministic wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho. Not at all. It is very much real. I used to lack confidence as an overweight shy teenager and decided to start doing kick-boxing. It completely changed my life. Not only did I loose weight but I also learned that I can do so much more than I ever imagined. Walking into a ring to fight a 6’3” bounc…

The way you guys define "better" is so obvious that I really thought you were talking about something more than that. In terms of what you talk about, confidence, muscle, productivity even... these are ways to become a better narcissist. But a better person? Nah... I'd argue you're worse now that your ego is pumped.

It's a little bit odd to connect "bettering yourself" specifically with moral character and nothing else, but for whatever it's worth, it's also pretty clearly possible for people's morals and general character to improve over time.

This is also a somewhat unique definition of narcissism that I'm not familiar with: narcissism is not just another word for confidence and struggling with body image is not the same as humility.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#139

Post by ineedausername »

danShumway wrote: post #138
ineedausername wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The way you guys define "better" is so obvious that I really thought you were talking about something more than that. In terms of what you talk about, confidence, muscle, productivity even... these are ways to become a better narcissist. But a better person? Nah... I'd argue you're worse now that your ego is pumped.

It's a little bit odd to connect "bettering yourself" specifically with moral character and nothing else, but for whatever it's worth, it's also pretty clearly possible for people's morals and general character to improve over time. This is also a somewhat unique definition of narcissism that I'm not familiar with: narcissism is not just another word for confidence and struggling with body image is not the same as hu…

Peoples morals do not improve, only temporarily, whatever misbehavior you've exhibited in your past you will do so again in the future. Your past behavior is the best predictor of what you're gonna do in the future. The character isn't something static in the course of life, but not on fundamental things.

About narcissism... where do I even begin. Let's just say that narcissism is the norm nowadays, especially in first world countries. I feel it's futile to describe further but I like the fact that people (me/you/anyone) see certain things in a different way.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#140

Post by jinct »

I realized this year that I have been struggling to get into deep focus at work for a long time. In my case, the main two things preventing focus were anxiety and ambient noise, and they play off each other. Ambient noise tends to distract me and keep my anxiety high.

I bought a pair of decent reusable earplugs and built a ritual of throwing them in whenever I want to be productive. To my surprise it was incredibly effective. When the ear plugs go in, I get right into the zone in minutes.

Another trigger I use to tell my mind it’s time to focus is to close my door. Even if I’m home alone, something about closing the door serves as a cue to my mind.

These are low cost things you can try and you will know immediately if they help you. If they don’t, maybe you can identify similar triggers that do work for you.

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