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Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#131

Post by gautamdivgi »

Do you really have a significant idea or just frustrated with the monotony in the current job? Startups have a high failure rate. You will also have issues attracting funding in the current economy. Even is your wife didn’t know hiding this fact from her isn’t healthy for a good relationship.

If you do one just make sure you’ve got enough financial independence and most importantly an idea that folks think is significant. Are people willing to pay for what you plan to develop? How much time will that take away from family? Can you get funding through an accelerator? What sort of a financial hit are you going to take? Is your family onboard with it?

If your wife has a well paying job and is secure in her work she may be on onboard with limping on a single salary until you hit pmf (or get to a point where you understand there isn’t one).

In the end it’s about financial independence and time your family demands from you.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#132

Post by JoshuaRowe »

You really don't have to put you or your family at risk to have a profitable business that is a benefit to you and the people around you. You also don't have to work long hours or get no sleep to get there. There is no doubt that you probably won't be the next unicorn trying to go this path, but I honestly don't think those people are really as happy as everyone thinks they are. You can have a sustainable business that is profitable in several different ways that adds true value to the economy and to your customers and clients. You can even create a job or two that can provide a good opportunity down the line for someone else.

Take a look at some ideas that can be done as a solopreneur, parallel entrepreneur, or with a self sustaining small business that doesn't require a ton of capital or reoccurring expenses. Don't overcomplicate things or add a ton of stress to your life and build a product or service that you simply can put out there to see if anyone responds. It's important to note that not all startups have to be technology based or what everyone calls a "startup" here. You can be an urban farmer, or sell simple products that you, yourself have been wanting to find in the market. Talking to your local SBA office doesn't make you less of an entrepreneur than launching on HN either.

If you're unsure if an idea is worth it, put out a landing page to see if anyone cares about the idea or what you already have to offer. Spend a weekend or a few nights here and there and make something you're nearly ashamed of, then go try to sell it. You'll learn along the way what works and what doesn't. You'll also learn who you truly are and what you can do and handle. The only thing you need to know is whether or not people are buying what you're selling, and you can live with what it takes to make that happen.

I'm a huge fan of the advice that is contained in the 37 Signals / Basecamp books, so feel free to check those out to learn more about the themes I've suggested here in a better, more articulated package. There is also a book titled "The Parallel Entrepreneur" by Ryan Buckley that I've found useful too.

Good luck on whatever you find yourself working on!

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#133

Post by synergy20 »

earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

totally agree, you just DONT

I sold mine and waited 10+ years until kids are in the last two years of high schools, I also saved a bit during these years so I have some cushion to restart my startup dream. Maybe it's why there are a group of entrepreneurs in their late 40s and early 50s just like what I had?

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#134

Post by dusted »

I would discuss this with my wife first, and reorganize the economy so that her income could sustain both of you until you either make it or call it quits. Also have a reasonable exit plan, like, when is it enough, so you know when to stop and go back to a regular job.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#135

Post by nazka »

theGnuMe wrote: post #66
higeorge13 wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are we even allowed to do side projects? What if our employer claims ownership or even conflicts of interest with what we are building? How will i even present it into hn or producthunt with my name and all my credentials while i am still working somewhere else? Any employer would fire us on the spot if they found out, wouldn’t they?

The answer is, it depends. Different states have different laws etc...

Also check what your contract says. About non-compete clauses and exclusivity clauses.

If it’s green lights everywhere I will advise you to have another GitHub account than your professional one. And makes everything as separate as possible.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#137

Post by vhiremath4 »

I would start with understanding how assets work. Buy Rich Dad Poor Dad - it's going to be extremely boring and annoying to read, but it's essential because most people truly don't understand how this works. Build up your assets so you have enough recurring income outside of salary to support your standard of living - then do a startup.

A couple of concrete examples of what an asset strategy is:

* An options strategy that helps you yield every so often (example - buying tobacco and alcohol options going into the recession hoping they will yield higher when people tend to drink and smoke more) * A real estate strategy that minimizes money exchanged in-hand (example, looking at housing markets that are starting to become distressed, buying a foreclosed property, and then flipping it to someone else who would buy it for more but doesn't check the foreclosures listings)

^ There are many examples. It won't be quick money, but you need to get to a point where your assets are generating enough money for your marriage to not fall apart in the very likely scenario that you will fail starting your own company multiple times.

I want to say, I have no idea if this is actually the right sequencing of events for you, but it seems to be if quality of living is a top concern (which makes sense). If you want to maintain a standard of living while taking on massive risk, you need to hedge with a diversified asset portfolio that generates income for you outside of your job.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#138

Post by anonuser123456 »

Your best bet is to get a divorce now. That way she has time to find someone else to help raise your kids, since you won’t really have the time or energy.

Alternatively, find a cushy corporate job with low expectations that is completely outside the domain of the company you want to build. Then, bring your personal laptop to work and work on your side project. Make sure your contract doesn’t give them rights to your outside projects. Make sure you use a separate network (e.g get a 5G hotspot). You might want to fake your commit times so it all looks like it happens during non business hours in case you are sued and audited.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#139

Post by passwordoops »

earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

The upside to waiting is also gaining experience. There's something to be said to learning in environments that work before taking a stab yourself. I'm sure many founders over 40 avoid many mistakes this way

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#140

Post by josh_carterPDX »

As someone who started a company in my 30's and is considering another one in my 40's, my advice to you is that you just have to be more pragmatic. I have a wife, kids, mortgage, etc and I spend more time vetting the idea than I did in years past. I talk to more people about the idea to see if I'm onto something or if this is just an idea destined for failure. By spending a lot more time ensuring that the idea has legs I'm giving myself more data and also laying the groundwork if it is something worth pursuing. I would never quit my job unless I knew the startup could sustain my livelihood for at least one year.

So the short answer is that you can absolutely do this. It's about how you approach it and ensuring the people close to you are on board for the ride as well.

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