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Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

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Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#131

Post by dave_sid »

tasty_freeze wrote: post #106

I'm 56, so not that old, but age is increasingly a concern. Confirming what others have said - I am very much in touch with the teenage me and everything between. The days are long and the decades are short, indeed. Health - for me, health it isn't about living a long time, it is living with self sufficiency and minimizing pain. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of the years of infirmity which often precedes…

“ I think back on the deadline death marches and jumping on grenades to get projects back on schedule ... and every one of those deadlines was a sham”

- I’m only just beginning to recognise this. I checked myself out from hospital early this year to join a standup meeting, to make sure the project was on schedule. Thinking about that now makes me angry. It was pointless.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#132

Post by syndacks »

mark_l_watson wrote: post #127

I am 69, so I will chime in here: I now spend much more time dedicated to the food I eat, exercise, and meditation. A good thing is that I mostly no longer care much about changing other people's opinions on things. I certainly enjoy talking and expressing myself but if someone listens to me then that is sufficient - they don't have to agree with me. It works the other way also: even if I disagree with someone, I can…

Hi, thanks for sharing. This resonates.

What kind of books did you write?

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#133

Post by jrochkind1 »

The things you spend time doing will become the things you do: What you're good at doing, what you have a habit of doing.

So be intentional to spend time doing things you actually want to focus on, or become good at, or have as habits.

I suspect this advice, like most advice from the old to the young, is difficult to really understand or follow from the perspective of the young.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#134

Post by austincheney »

summitsummit wrote: post #46
austincheney wrote: post #2

Be cognizant of phony social pretexts. I can remember everybody saying I needed to go to college. I did but I don’t college to be a software developer. Go to college not because of some bullshit social pretext but because you honestly want an expanded education. Do the hard things first. Hard things get easier with practice but practice takes time. The easy things remain easy regardless of practice and just rob you o…

survivorship bias

I don’t believe survivorship bias applies... yet. Even though I do have a bachelors degree (not computer science) I barely graduated high school. Even still I am doing well as a senior developer having surpassed many of my peers. Yet many of the strongest developers I have worked with personally are also self taught. I believe that once I take my peers into consideration there is a frequent reproducible pattern.

It becomes survivorship bias when I become more specific and speak to what works versus what does not, particularly in contrast to common faulty social expectations.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#135

Post by mark_l_watson »

syndacks wrote: post #132
mark_l_watson wrote: post #127

I am 69, so I will chime in here: I now spend much more time dedicated to the food I eat, exercise, and meditation. A good thing is that I mostly no longer care much about changing other people's opinions on things. I certainly enjoy talking and expressing myself but if someone listens to me then that is sufficient - they don't have to agree with me. It works the other way also: even if I disagree with someone, I can…

Hi, thanks for sharing. This resonates. What kind of books did you write?

Mostly AI, Lisp, etc.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#136

Post by tomohawk »

Life's short. Don't spend it in debt to banks. Paying off your debts is life changing. Imagine heading into the 2008 recession with a paid off house and car, and an emergency fund that will pay at least 6 months of expenses. Financial worries are one of the top 3 things couples argue about. Be different.

Don't sabotage yourself by not taking care of your body. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. You can live without them, and you'll be much healthier. Avoid excess sugar. If its not a desert, it should not be high in sugar. Work out. Take walks. Hike. By the time you're 50, you'll notice that people who have not taken care of themselves are no longer able to work mentally demanding jobs.

Pay attention to stress. It's the big killer. It will kill your ability to think, and your ability to have meaningful relationships. And, eventually, it will kill you. If you're getting stressed, find a different way, a different job - change whatever you have to.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#137

Post by chadcmulligan »

gautamcgoel wrote: post #78
irvingprime wrote: post #72

What's it like to be old? My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all. People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want. My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding r…

Can you please expand on that advice? What should we be paying attention to?

Coincidence - You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was going on - stand on Zanzibar

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#138

Post by greenyoda »

AstralStorm wrote: post #65
MaKey wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a similar experience. Please don't praise kids for being "smart", teach them that putting real effort into something will pay off.

You need to do both. Don't be that stereotypical Asian parent, pushing and never praising. It works only sometimes, and the kids will curse you for their empty, wasted in third, life.

Just because you don't praise kids for being "smart" doesn't mean you can't praise them for their actual accomplishments.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#139

Post by AznHisoka »

gautamcgoel wrote: post #78
irvingprime wrote: post #72

What's it like to be old? My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all. People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want. My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding r…

Can you please expand on that advice? What should we be paying attention to?

Just don't think about work, startups, money, etc when you are eating dinner with your family, or spending time with them. Harder than it sounds.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#140

Post by DougN7 »

tomcam wrote: post #119

I'm about 60. My early life left me with no confidence that I would make it this far, so by the time I was 21 I was getting ready to die. What it's been like to grow old * My body's in officially lousy shape, but I don't feel much worse than I did at 21. Sure, arthritis makes music harder, and being fat makes it hard to tie my shoes. For some reason, though I know I should feel worse, I don't really. * When you liter…

Thanks for the thoughtful response. You sound just like one of my good friends.
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