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Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?

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Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?

#131

Post by jlengrand »

One thing I haven't seen in the comments just yet : YMMV largely depending on which country (and company) you're in.

I used to live in France (and my brother still lives there) and long hours are kind of expected. I now live in the Netherlands and we actually _almost_ got in trouble with the daycare for bringing our kid there 5 times a week because we were both working full time. Most people I know (agreed, as engineers we are privileged) work 4 days a week and won't do over time.

If you ask me, that makes a lot of sense. I get done in 8 hours what I used to do in 10. And next to that I have a life.

In any case, don't let anyone make you feel bad for having kids. They're much better than any career you can dream and don't let 'management' take that away from you.

Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?

#132

Post by giantg2 »

Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote: post #124
giantg2 wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They get the rating because overall it's a pretty good place and they won't tell you the real reason behind your rating - they always have a cover story. I have friends who are managers. They've told me things they shouldn't tell an employee. For example, if a manager picks someone for the highest rating, some departments require the manager to give someone a below average rating to "balance it out", even if they don…

That's a terrible company you are describing...

They are good on paper. So unless you're one of the 3-5% getting screwed (and realize it)... They offer 6 weeks paid parental leave, upto 14% 401k, $100 extra per month for 5 years to pay off student loans, profit sharing, 100% grad school tuition, 1 VTO day, outcomes based evaluations (so they say), and pay for performance (so they say).

Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?

#134

Post by dcolkitt »

AshArchangel wrote: post #21

What's interesting is that I have observed the opposite in my career. I have often seen that employees who have children are afforded more flexibility, shorter hours, and less work than those who do not have children. While I understand these are necessary if you have children, a disproportionate amount of work and higher expectations are given to those without children in my office. For example, if you have a child,…

Along similar lines, people with kids are less likely to be fired.

Ask any manager who's had to do a big layoff. They'll bend over backwards to shield those who have families to feed. Often time single people will be laid off first despite being much more competent than the father of four.

This creates a secondary emergent effect where family men build up more impressive resumes than singles who are viewed as disposable and less likely to weather downturns.

Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?

#136

Post by laran »

The short answer is no, they don't drag your career down. But they give you a reason to re-prioritize how you invest your time in a way you've probably never had to before.

It can take a couple of years as a new parent to adjust. Every person and every family will have different needs and approach the transition in a different way.

If the management at your company doesn't value your family then the question is really whether or not you agree with them. Is your family worth it?

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