131–140 of 150 posts
If you focus on this at the point where you aren't getting what you want its too late. You need to build a relationship of trust before you ask for an exception or special request (in the eye of the manager not you). Your manager should know the following: - That if there is a problem you will always come to him/her first not try and work around him - That he can count on you to do what needs to be done. You will go…
Your question is not about "managing your manager." This is about your manager trying to sabotage your career. Give the talks, quit if you have to. You don't need a manager who is not your advocate. I say this as someone responsible for many more management functions in tech than a technical tasks now. If your manager doesn't help you, tell HIS manager and be open: you don't need to accept this. Bad management is a p…
I agree that you should seek out a manager that wants to help you advance in your career, but you don't have enough context to judge the manager in this particular case. Perhaps OP is spending too much time speaking at conferences and not hitting his other agreed objectives. Perhaps there is a critical project launch that OP is leading during the timeframe of the conference and it's just not feasible in this isolated…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
OP did not tell us how his manager justified his refusal, BUT because of the way he formulated his question and my personal life experience, I'm very much inclined to believe that the manager simply gave not or bullshit/generic reasons as to why he won't let OP give the talk. That the most common situation is the manager is a shitty person who realises that if by any minute chance OP's talk somehow hurt the company t…
Why would the manager be a shitty person if they saw no upside for the company, possible downside, and decided against that action? If we were talking about a decision that didn't involve another human being and their desires, I suspect you might find this decision-making logic acceptable. Perhaps you could explain why if there is no chance for the company to gain anything but a non-zero risk of the company's status,…
There's a non-zero risk to the company if the man gets into a bar fight, there's a non-zero risk to the company if the man crosses the street and gets run over by a truck on his way to work each morning.
If you focus on this at the point where you aren't getting what you want its too late. You need to build a relationship of trust before you ask for an exception or special request (in the eye of the manager not you). Your manager should know the following: - That if there is a problem you will always come to him/her first not try and work around him - That he can count on you to do what needs to be done. You will go…
> If you've ever said "this isn't my job" then you will have only an adversarial relationship. I say that all the time to other managers and occasionally to my direct manager. I'm the only software engineer on staff and we have a pisspoor IT provider, if it's windows I don't touch it because if I do I'll 'own' it and I'm busy enough.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
OP did not tell us how his manager justified his refusal, BUT because of the way he formulated his question and my personal life experience, I'm very much inclined to believe that the manager simply gave not or bullshit/generic reasons as to why he won't let OP give the talk. That the most common situation is the manager is a shitty person who realises that if by any minute chance OP's talk somehow hurt the company t…
> the most common situation is the manager is a shitty person You don’t know nearly enough about the situation to say this. Most managers are not shitty people.
I am horrified by the complete lack of empathy and emotional intelligence of such managers.
Won't OP just not hide such "silly" matters from the manager if whatever the matter is OP gets a slap on the wrist?
Is it indicative of good managerial skills that OP felt he should ask about the matter on the internet and not the manager himself?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> If you've ever said "this isn't my job" then you will have only an adversarial relationship. I say that all the time to other managers and occasionally to my direct manager. I'm the only software engineer on staff and we have a pisspoor IT provider, if it's windows I don't touch it because if I do I'll 'own' it and I'm busy enough.
That sounds pretty adversarial, you may have demonstrated GP’s argument.
I was hired to write software, we pay a third party for desktop IT, if I then start doing IT technician tasks I'd be the most overpaid IT technician in the country and we'd still be paying for support.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
- The manager and you have an equal relationship if you are any good at your job as you can replace the manager if you want to. - This whole "you must submit to your boss" attitude beyond performing the assigned tasks is absurd.
From the manager's POV, OP wants an exception to some policy (written or unwritten). If you want to get away with exceptions you need more than the normal adversarial relationship. There is a larger argument about whether you should even need an exception for this case, but the remedy for that is to find another job if you can't live with it. However your working life will be a lot easier if you learn to work around…
No workplace is ever perfect but there is a difference between a manager who understands the reality of the situation and a manager who is a problem that needs to be removed.
The fact you feel ignoring unwritten policies is "special treatment" likely puts you in the latter camp.
> However your working life will be a lot easier if you learn to work around inadequacies in your chain of management
Usually, it is easier to find another job than endure poor management for extended periods of time.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> the most common situation is the manager is a shitty person You don’t know nearly enough about the situation to say this. Most managers are not shitty people.
You are right, I am jumping to conclusions based on what I'm reading between the lines: I presume this is not the first time the manager was shitty to OP since OP asked it in general terms how should he manage his manager, and I am also presuming the manager did not give satisfactory explanation for his refusal or offer a reasonable compromise(like "you can go, but you must never mention the company, our clients, our…
This is not a terrible assumption, but assuming malice on the manager’s part is. Maybe it is a shitty manager. Or maybe the guy asking is a shitty employee who’s constantly screwing up. Maybe it’s something else entirely. There is too little information here to say.
> Is it indicative of good managerial skills that OP felt he should ask about the matter on the internet and not the manager himself?
It’s indicative of a poor relationship. I can’t say whether the issue is with the manager, the individual, or both.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
From the manager's POV, OP wants an exception to some policy (written or unwritten). If you want to get away with exceptions you need more than the normal adversarial relationship. There is a larger argument about whether you should even need an exception for this case, but the remedy for that is to find another job if you can't live with it. However your working life will be a lot easier if you learn to work around…
> From the manager's POV, OP wants an exception to some policy (written or unwritten). If you want to get away with exceptions you need more than the normal adversarial relationship. No workplace is ever perfect but there is a difference between a manager who understands the reality of the situation and a manager who is a problem that needs to be removed. The fact you feel ignoring unwritten policies is "special trea…
Cynicism will hold you back.
If you focus on this at the point where you aren't getting what you want its too late. You need to build a relationship of trust before you ask for an exception or special request (in the eye of the manager not you). Your manager should know the following: - That if there is a problem you will always come to him/her first not try and work around him - That he can count on you to do what needs to be done. You will go…
H1b doesn't have much choice other than fake politeness.