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Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

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131–136 of 136 posts

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#131
post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my experience, if you're a good engineer, it is fairly straightforward to work to live. It is not particularly challenging. The problem is that you are, over time, shown powerful tools and processes capable of perceptibly increasing the rate of human technological progress. For many people, pursuing this goal is irresistible, and this is when you transition to living to work -- when you know that you are personall…

I can see the allure in that, but perhaps this is a false vision used to exploit people, similar to the "American Dream". Are you sure you're moving humanity forward? I can see those working in medicine, food, etc. helping people, but many of this technology is aimed at purposes that are detrimental to humans or at best conveniences that still contribute to climate change.

I'm a big Star Trek fan. The alien races in Star Trek are metaphors for different factions of Homo sapiens.

Given that context, I view Star Trek as a reasonably plausible view of future humanity. The Star Trek universe certainly has problems, and is regularly threatened with existential crises. There are many new terrible things in it, but there are also many new beautiful things. It's sort of a greatly expanded version of life as it is today; the inhabited universe is larger, more diverse, and as a direct result, there are, on the whole, more options and more possibilities.

So here's the question: Given the option, would you choose to live in today's universe, or the Star Trek universe?

You don't get to choose which individual you are in either scenario, it's a dice roll. You could end up a North Korean peasant or an Albert Einstein (or pick your own role model). You could end up an admired Federation leader or a Borg drone.

But, if you could choose the present day or the Star Trek universe, which would it be?

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#132
Ok, I'm going to make a suggestion that others may find silly and may not work for you...

You have two hours a day where you can't do anything but drive and think.

Audio notes are your friend, take them while your in the car.

What I find when I do this is that I don't really need to reference the notes after I take them! After reading this article ( http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/pointing-and-calling-ja... ) I think I understand why now.

When I get the time to work on my own stuff I find that I'm much more efficient with it than I would be if I was just sitting down to stare at a screen, and I can accomplish a lot in 15-20 minutes a day on side projects, or research, or ....

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#133
post #58
post #42

Having gotten married recently, things have already changed quite a bit, before even having kids. I have a similar job and commute as you do. I also recently had the opportunity to change jobs and made it a point to join a place that doesn't believe in working long hours and staying late. (I used to work in an infamous place for long hours, then I left that to cofound my own startup which was again long hours even if…

Sorry if this is over personal, but how does getting married change things? Were there more changes than marriage at the same time? I'm not married, but have been living with my partner for 3 years, together for 8 and am about to buy a house with them, so I'm wondering what I've got ahead of me!

I think it's a personal commitment thing. For example, after being married, I'd like to commit to having dinner with her all (or almost all) days of the week, whereas before, I was pretty ok with staying later at work and grab a bite with coworkers; that sort of thing. I absolutely make it a point to avoid staying late at work unless absolutely necessary.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#134

A lot of parents really, really like having kids. The ROI on having children is, for them, so self-evident that they don't really think about it. But that's not true for everyone, esp. if you were old enough to be pretty fully-formed by the time you became a father. Kids come at a huge cost. You're exhausted from dealing with them, and in the meantime you're probably not exercising, and you're eating like crap, and,…

This should be voted higher. It's not "passive-aggressive", as the empathy-deficient thatwebdude says, it's honest, if painfully so. There are plenty of days when a parent cannot in all honesty give the socially-mandated "But it's so worth it" appendix to the litany of perfectly justifiable complaints. It IS hard, exhausting, and does involve a recalibration of your expectations of life and yourself. Thank you for posting this, not many parents would be so honest. (In saying this I am not denying that there are other parents who can in all honesty say they love the whole process.)

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#135
post #85
post #51

I'm a founder looking for ways to make my next startup family-friendly. I'm a parent of two sons in SF so I know what it's like. A grab bag of ideas so far: - Allow parents to bring babies to work (0-6mo) - Locate in suburbs where parents live instead of in the city - Hire remote employees who work from home - Establish a culture of taking an office break around 4-5pm then resume at 8pm for a couple hours - Do social…

"bring babies to work" - are you serious? do you have children?

Yes, I do have children. I got the idea from this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/20/opinion/sunday/take-your-...

Bringing babies to work definitely has issues, but also benefits.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#136
post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can see the allure in that, but perhaps this is a false vision used to exploit people, similar to the "American Dream". Are you sure you're moving humanity forward? I can see those working in medicine, food, etc. helping people, but many of this technology is aimed at purposes that are detrimental to humans or at best conveniences that still contribute to climate change.

I'm a big Star Trek fan. The alien races in Star Trek are metaphors for different factions of Homo sapiens. Given that context, I view Star Trek as a reasonably plausible view of future humanity. The Star Trek universe certainly has problems, and is regularly threatened with existential crises. There are many new terrible things in it, but there are also many new beautiful things. It's sort of a greatly expanded vers…

I'm also a huge Star Trek fan, and I think that would be a very interesting world to live in. How about we get there without destroying the planet and working so much?
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