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Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

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Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#121

Post by pistoriusp »

bts wrote: post #45
pistoriusp wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hate that. It's the same as people starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." And then saying something that they're not really sorry about. It's not silly to not want someone to touch your screen. I think you should just come out and say it. "Please don't touch my monitor."

Personally I would use the "I'm sorry, but..." approach because I'd be legitimately sorry that I have to take conversation into an awkward direction for a moment. I think the direct approach, while some would appreciate it, is taking a bit of a gamble: there's too much of a chance the person could take it the wrong way.

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#122

Post by pistoriusp »

drobilla wrote: post #52
pistoriusp wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hate that. It's the same as people starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." And then saying something that they're not really sorry about. It's not silly to not want someone to touch your screen. I think you should just come out and say it. "Please don't touch my monitor."

This is what I do, and it's never a problem. The reasons why you wouldn't want somebody touching your scren are pretty obvious. I'm not apologizing to someone else for /them/ smudging their filthy hand marks all over /my/ screen! There's a "please", it's not like it's rude...

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#123

Post by pistoriusp »

chrischen wrote: post #76
drobilla wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what I do, and it's never a problem. The reasons why you wouldn't want somebody touching your scren are pretty obvious. I'm not apologizing to someone else for /them/ smudging their filthy hand marks all over /my/ screen! There's a "please", it's not like it's rude...

I would drop the please and just say "Oh, could you not touch the screen" and then explain why.

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#124

Post by cromulent »

OK, at least I know it's not just me, even if it is trivial.

Good points all around. I still think that some things are not for casual touching (camera lenses, laptop screens, TV screens, eyeglasses, mirrors, etc) but I get that the smudges don't bother some people at all, so it's not that they are being rude, just they aren't aligned with my personal peeves.

My laptop is an important personal item, not that it has a pet name, just that it's something I use all day every day and chose carefully. Maybe like a bicycle couriers bike, or something. I make my living with it. Treat it with respect, please.

Anyway, I find the smudges distracting. In the end, that's the thing.

Obviously clients, prospects, and vice presidents get to touch it with impunity. Colleagues with pizza fingers will get cschep's prefix.

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#125

Post by aerique »

rjurney wrote: post #26
cschep wrote: post #16

I always start the sentence with... "I know this is weird, but..." It helps me get to the actual point of direct confrontation, but by blaming it on myself it helps absorb some of the awkward. Truly though, I hate it when people touch my laptop's screen!

Let out a little scream like a madman, "aaaahhh! no touch screen!" Silliness works. Or my favorite: "Touching my computer is like touching my penis. Seriously."

Or if they're wearing glasses touch those with your greasy fingers. They'll get the hint.

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#126

Post by shard »

__david__ wrote: post #62
rjurney wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let out a little scream like a madman, "aaaahhh! no touch screen!" Silliness works. Or my favorite: "Touching my computer is like touching my penis. Seriously."

Ok, if someone used your favorite line on me it would provoke an entire hand rubbing across the screen, but then I'm a bit of a real life troll. :-)

I don't think what you would have done would be trolling, it'd be making a pass at him.

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#127

Post by gdp »

pistoriusp wrote: post #121
bts wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Personally I would use the "I'm sorry, but..." approach because I'd be legitimately sorry that I have to take conversation into an awkward direction for a moment. I think the direct approach, while some would appreciate it, is taking a bit of a gamble: there's too much of a chance the person could take it the wrong way.

I have a theory, it may be way off, but are you an American?

Starting a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." is a very British thing to do, in my observation (and Bill Bryson's, for that matter).

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#128

Post by nihilocrat »

devin wrote: post #22
tsally wrote: post #15

Wow I'm hearing tons of complicated ways to avoid direct conversation. If you pay several thousand dollars for a machine, I'm pretty sure you get to decide to gets to do what with it. If it is your companies screen, you are still responsible for it, so the same thing applies. Next time it happens, just politely explain how you feel. There's no need for the passive aggressive solutions that a few people are suggesting…

The reason people have all these passive aggressive solutions is because they feel kind of embarrassed that they have such an attachment to an inanimate object. It's like telling someone not to touch your baby. I know most people will claim that it's just the cost of the item, but in reality I think it's that they're addicted to that little window into the machine. I know I am.

I think the passive aggressive solutions exist because most people have terrible communication skills. It seems like it all comes from the assumption that if you actually disagree with someone or want them to behave a different way around you, you must be a huge asshole that no one will respect. If we communicate indirectly, we get to claim the higher moral ground because we were merely "passive" while the other person OBVIOUSLY didn't get our EXTREMELY OBVIOUS indirect message and therefore must be not only an asshole but an idiot.

Now the other guy is the rude idiot. Problem solved!

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#129

Post by Tangurena »

mgrouchy wrote: post #28
Tangurena wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a co-worker who used to stop what she was doing, and blurt some variation of "here, let me help you clean that fingerprint off my monitor" and then proceed to engage in her ritual of cleaning the CRT (this predated LCD monitors). Several other coworkers intentionally would poke the monitor with their fingers (the grease from the side of your nose is great for this), just to get a rise out of her. The day she pu…

Sounds like she was snide about it. However, that is a dumb reason to fire someone. I would not have wanted to work for that company.

It was the IT dept of a consulting company. The IT managers jested that watching Office Space was an occupation requirement, as the whole company was a bunch of the Bob & Bobs. This place tried to pitch themselves as a smaller and older (mis)management consulting company, in the lines of McKinsey, E&Y or KPMG.

Re: Ask HN: Trivial etiquette question - can he touch my laptop screen?

#130

Post by Tangurena »

olliesaunders wrote: post #23
Tangurena wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a co-worker who used to stop what she was doing, and blurt some variation of "here, let me help you clean that fingerprint off my monitor" and then proceed to engage in her ritual of cleaning the CRT (this predated LCD monitors). Several other coworkers intentionally would poke the monitor with their fingers (the grease from the side of your nose is great for this), just to get a rise out of her. The day she pu…

This is almost making me angry. Someone would fire someone else for that? Please tell me you're not saying that.

She failed to show sufficient deference to the VP (who in other posts I've frequently called "crazy french lady"), who had on occasion gone to the board of directors and gotten other VPs fired.

As developers, we like to pretend that we're above office politics, or that our tools are our own, and other things like that. Nope. To managers, we're all as interchangable as furniture. And it wouldn't surprise me that much of the offshoring is due to the combination of 2 facts: that they have the power and we don't; and that the jocks are pissed off at the nerds because we don't kiss their asses enough. Just look at the title of one of the latest fad articles and books to come out of the Harvard Business Journal: does I.T. matter?. Remember what PG says about mental fads? "What scares me is that there are moral fashions too. They're just as arbitrary, and just as invisible to most people. But they're much more dangerous. Fashion is mistaken for good design; moral fashion is mistaken for good."

http://www.c2.com/cgi/wiki?PlugCompatibleInterchangeableEngi...

http://www.nicholasgcarr.com/doesitmatter.html

http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html

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