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Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

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Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#121

Post by kaashif »

mumer101 wrote: post #89
DrThunder wrote: post #5

Habit. Stop looking for motivation to drive you. Sometimes it will and sometimes it won't. There's a pretty common saying that motivation is a result of doing stuff. You just do it whether you want to or not. I know that's simplistic but that's really all there is to it. Easy to understand but harder to implement. It helps me not to think too far into the future and break stuff down into daily goals so I don't get ov…

I have this suspicion that often people who thrive at "school" suck at doing things, their whole life they are getting programmed to: a) do things for an quick and clear reward b) always be in extremely well defined rules (when semester starts you see how people obsess over edge cases and their impact on grade with a professor) c) always do it for pleasing someone else and get their admiration (teachers, parents, pee…

I think being motivated by fear of being viewed as a failure can be very powerful and last far beyond school.

It's unhealthy, but I get a great deal of satisfaction when I think about others seeing me as a success. And a great deal of stress when things aren't going right, which has been a motivator for turning things around.

If at some point I fail and can't recover, my mental health would probably decline significantly.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#122

Post by baremetal »

Mezzie wrote: post #105
jstx1 wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You can find rewarding work. Seems like a big assumption. I haven't yet, and I keep trying.

And that there's a place for everyone in the current economic model. I know from experience that I'm happiest doing 2-3 part time jobs. But in order to get things like benefits, job security, a salary over 15/hr, etc. I'm stuck with a single place of full time employment. I try to find jobs that let me do a bunch of different things, but it's not really the same. Being a generalist sucks.

Being a generalist can work if you are in the right market[s] and you own your own business[es].

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#123

Post by lofaszvanitt »

You have to literally rape yourself mentally and break down your mental barriers. Your brain works against you with all kinds of weapons like fear.

One that works is to line up a lot of things that must be done, so you can choose the less painful :D.

Also stop reading news, it makes your mind wander/think about irrelevant things. Read news only before going to bed. News is 98% noise.

If your brain is really rioting, then use a pomodoro timer.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#124

Post by mjjjjjjj »

more_corn wrote: post #88

I have been putting off going under the house to fix the insulation for months. 100% not motivated to do it. The trick I used was to just start. Now is the scheduled time to do it. Do you want to do it? Nope. Ok go get the tools and equipment. Didn’t you hear? I’m not motivated. Motivation not required. Just start.

I think one thing I needed to learn as an adult is that it’s okay to not want to do things, and to continue to not want to do them, to complain about not wanting to do them (mentally or in some appropriate channel) as I did them. As a kid, we weren’t supposed to complain about work, and I internalized that too hard so I didn’t even have that release valve mentally- I’d just avoid everything that I couldn’t make myself interested in because I couldn’t get a little angry and do it anyways. I used to think there were bad emotions and good emotions, but in fact, all emotions exist to motivate certain human-type-mammal behaviors. Like many things, the dose is the difference between medicine and poison.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#125

Post by CogitoCogito »

mumer101 wrote: post #94
Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mhhh I always assumed school is the most delayed reward. 20 years to get a well paying job?

if you asked 16 years old me why are you studying so hard, the lie would be the whole story so i can do get into college get a job etc... truth would have been so i can look good and be admired

I'm 37 and I'd say this is _still_ one my largest motivators.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#126

Post by ineedausername »

danShumway wrote: post #120
ineedausername wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You cannot better yourself :)

This is a good opportunity to offer another tip that I don't see mentioned super-often on these threads: keep logs/records of your performance, so you can look back at how your life/habits have changed over time. Most habits form gradually and it can be hard to see them taking effect, and that can be really demotivating. For me, being able to look back at photos of what my house used to look like and being able to go…

I'm not sure I follow.

I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it.

I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#128

Post by hackerman123469 »

CoastalCoder wrote: post #11

Not sure if this applies to you, but in case it's helpful: I think my procrastination comes from some combination of ADHD, low-level depression, and existential dread (i.e., does anything really matter anyway?). If you think ADHD is part of your issue, you might find some videos by Tracy Marks [0] useful. (And if you're not sure about ADHD, you might consider getting tested for it.) [0] https://www.youtube.com/@DrTra…

Another great one is https://www.youtube.com/@HowtoADHD

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#129

Post by danShumway »

ineedausername wrote: post #126
danShumway wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a good opportunity to offer another tip that I don't see mentioned super-often on these threads: keep logs/records of your performance, so you can look back at how your life/habits have changed over time. Most habits form gradually and it can be hard to see them taking effect, and that can be really demotivating. For me, being able to look back at photos of what my house used to look like and being able to go…

I'm not sure I follow. I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it. I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

Habits are formed through repetition, and that repetition can be a conscious decision. It is very obviously possible to train yourself to have better habits, people do it all the time.

I'm not sure what your specific definition of self-betterment is, but mine is that you can through guidance, external help, environmental changes, personal reflection, (occasionally) medication, and (importantly) personal repetition, practice, and conscious effort slowly fix problems with your behavior/attitudes and pick up working/life strategies that make you more productive and healthier, and it is good for most people to try and do so.

This is a kind of out-of-left-field comment that I'm not sure how to reply to. I don't think I understand what you're saying, because obviously there are good reasons to force ourselves to form habits? A huge percentage of learning any skill is in learning fundamentals in such a way that they become instinctive and where practicing them becomes habitual. Even day-to-day life habits like brushing your teeth are ingrained in us via conscious effort and conscious reinforcement, they're not something we accidentally pick up. So I have to assume I misunderstand what you mean by self-betterment and habits because I assume you're not arguing that people shouldn't consciously try to form habits, and I assume you're not arguing that it's impossible for people to learn to be better people or to pick up healthier habits than they have currently. I mean, that argument wouldn't even be a philosophical difference or a perspective difference, it would just be observably false.

If self betterment in general the way that most people understand it was nonsense then nobody would ever stop smoking, rehab would always be a waste of time, no one would ever lose weight or improve exercise habits, etc... And that's so clearly not the case that I have to assume you're using those words differently than most people.

----

In any case, OP asking for help at the top of the thread is a kind of self betterment (although HN might not be the best place to do it or to get advice), and it's healthy for them to be putting in effort to understand themselves better and to get better at controlling their productivity. And it's extremely possible for them to see results; I bring up the records advice out of personal experience with it and out of personal experience looking back and seeing, "oh wow, I am way better at day-to-day tasks than I used to be." You can get better at this stuff. It's not a matter of just magically deciding to (which is part of my objection to the "just do it" advice I was replying to above), but self-improvement is a totally feasible thing for most people to do.

Re: Ask HN: How to do that you need to do but not motivated at all?

#130

Post by ineedausername »

danShumway wrote: post #129
ineedausername wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I follow. I never found a reason to force myself to form any kind of habit, life lead me to my habits, either out of a specific need at the time or some kind of inner drive, but that's it. I think this self-betterment I keep reading about online is nonsense, maybe we aren't talking about the same thing tho.

Habits are formed through repetition, and that repetition can be a conscious decision. It is very obviously possible to train yourself to have better habits, people do it all the time. I'm not sure what your specific definition of self-betterment is, but mine is that you can through guidance, external help, environmental changes, personal reflection, (occasionally) medication, and (importantly) personal repetition, p…

Alright then now it makes sense, the degree of what the word betterment entails is our difference.

I thought it meant to alter yourself, far more than just the results of adopting a healthy lifestyle, and i really believe it's not possible to really alter oneself.

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