Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 345 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#121

Post by greyman »

atzero wrote: post #67
poulsbohemian wrote: post #37

As someone who tried and ended up broke and divorced... You have to really know the business you are trying to break into and make your goals really attainable. Think in terms of figuring out how to generate even enough to pay your phone bill each month, then move up to a car payment, then to a mortgage. Build in micro-steps, making sure that you have stability at each level before you move up. Can you do parts of th…

I agree with all of this. Fortunately my spouse is very supportive, she just doesnt want to become destitute, and I cant blame her. Also fortunately, we are both boring homebodys and she wouldnt really have a problem with me working on this every night.

Hi OP,

I was thinking about what you are asking as well, but now I solved my problem other way - I employed myself in the company I identify with, I mean I believe in what they are doing and want them to succeed. This allowed me to get the feeling like I am part of the company; it's not exactly like "this is my startup", but similar. I already do not crave to create my own startup.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#123

Post by 999900000999 »

etothepii wrote: post #94
lolinder wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It massively helps that my wife is a partner at a law firm so we can pay bills etc, without having to have saved the cushion in advance. I also arranged to leave my previous employer with a 6-figure exit payment. I'm happy for your success, but I feel like this should have been mentioned up front. This kind of massive leg up almost certainly does not apply to OP.

Fair, but there's lots of other things that get missed when trying to give short feedback. I have a degree from a prestigious university and I've built relationships in the area I'm now trying to do business. I joined a golf club and a yacht club, I made friends with a former CEO of an NYSE listed company, I watched all the start-up school curriculum videos, I've been repeatedly rejected by YC (though we got an inter…

At which point is YC not worth the effort. You come off as being well enough connected to organically contact VCs.

I've largely given up on the business side. I make small games I hope people enjoy.

Not that there's tons of VC money going into video games anyway...

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#124

Post by VBprogrammer »

Kinda in a similar position myself. Would love to create something of my own but the house and car won't pay themselves.

I imagine it could be done but you'd have to cut down your expenses to a minimum which in my opinion comes with too much of an opportunity cost. By which I mean missing out on experiences and fun things with the children. In 10 years time they'll be busy with friends or video games. At that point I could consider it again.

If I was really determined to make it work I'd aim towards contracting in a field you have experience in. If you have enough success with that you should hopefully be able to pay the bills from that and squeeze in work on your own thing between paid gigs.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#125

Post by deanmoriarty »

Have your wife take a job and be the bread winner while you scratch your itch?

Kids either stay at home under your watch (depending on their age), or have your extended family watch them for a possibly below market compensation?

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#126

Post by n4r9 »

generalizations wrote: post #80
earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

> Then do an awesome startup when your kids are out of the house, you have a solid nest egg, and you can take risks again in your 50s. Then figure you have 10-20 active years left, and do you really want to spend 5-10 of them on a startup?

A lot of people do! The average age of a successful startup founder in 2020 was 45: https://economica.org.uk/research-the-average-age-of-a-succe...

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#127

Post by kohanz »

I did this. Founded a bootstrapped startup with wife, kids, mortgage, that eventually and unexpectedly led to a life-changing exit.

The key is that I didn't jump into it full-time right away. I first transitioned from a full-time job to a successful freelancer/consultant where I continued to get paid for writing code, but controlled my time and commitments. At first, I did this full-time and out-earned my previous employment income. As the startup itch grew stronger, I started spending more (unpaid) time on the startup and less on clients. My income dropped significantly (to about 30-40% of peak earning - ouch!) and it was a big sacrifice and gamble. My wife had some part-time income and maternity leave income during these times, but nothing too crazy - I was always the major breadwinner.

My wife and I also were on the same page about living within or below our means. We always earned significantly more than we spent and could tolerate major reductions in earnings and still not dig into savings. That's not to say we earned a lot, but that we were smart & frugal with money and did not have $$$ lifestyle preferences.

Also helpful that I live in a country with universal healthcare. If my family's health insurance was tied to my job, I would never have become an entrepreneur as I am very risk-averse. Keep in mind, all that happened above was a gamble that I took. I got lucky with the outcome (through a combination of skill, luck, and timing). There are many scenarios that could have played out, some that would not lead to success where I would still be bitter to this day about the career and financial sacrifices I made. I took the gamble and won, but it could have easily gone the opposite way. What I do know is that my wife would have supported me in any scenario. How I myself would have handled the mental impacts of "failure", I'm glad that I don't have to find that out...

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#128

Post by satvikpendem »

Why are you trying to do all or nothing? Start bootstrapped, focus on generating revenue, then quit your job. IndieHackers is a great site for this, their podcasts in specific are worth a listen to see how others did it [0]. Filter by "Indie Hackers" on the left sidebar, they have a few series but I'm talking about this series in particular which has interviews with those already making some amount of money and they're asked how they started.

[0] https://www.indiehackers.com/podcasts

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#129

Post by __derek__ »

generalizations wrote: post #80
earino wrote: post #6

My very concrete feelings on this is that you probably don't. Asking folks how to do this is a bit like asking billionaires how to get rich. It's a fun story but it's overfitting. The individual narrative that made a billionaire is unlikely to be available for you. If you ask some millionaires they may be more likely to give you some useful advice around sound investment strategies, living within your means, and iden…

> Then do an awesome startup when your kids are out of the house, you have a solid nest egg, and you can take risks again in your 50s. Then figure you have 10-20 active years left, and do you really want to spend 5-10 of them on a startup?

This underestimates longevity a bit: a 55-year-old in the US has a life expectancy of ~26-29 years (male and female, respectively).[1] Granted, this may hinge on what you mean by "active" years.

[1]: https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#130

Post by benjaminwootton »

tmcneal wrote: post #60

I feel compelled to provide a counter-point to all of the "you can't" comments here. It's possible. I started a company with my co-founder three years ago. We both were mid-thirties with kids when we started. We've since went through YC, raised a seed-round, and the company has been growing ever since. What worked for me: - I saved up money and drew from that while we were getting the company off the ground. My co-fo…

Similar story here. I saved some money, reduced burn and had a girlfriend in work. I also bootstrapped in spare time.

It also worked out OK for me.

Not trying would have been soul destroying for me even if it was a bit of a measured gamble.

Post reply on HN