Ask HN: How is your mental health?

In the first 2 weeks, I did absolutely nothing and was encouraged to watch some react tutorials on youtube. I bugged them multiple times stating I wanted to work on something and feel productive. After 2 weeks, I was placed on a team working on a web app that was tied together by duct tape. With only 1 week of react knowledge, it wasn't hard to spot that this code was a mess, especially the styling side of things was painful. They tasked me with making the site responsive, for which they provided me with the mobile screens and said good luck. They use a mix of Styled components, css, scss and style attributes. 95% of the pages were written with hardcoded margins and paddings which led me to essentially rewrite almost all of the layout. It was mentally draining. Once I was finally finished with this the client wanted a rebranding and they essentially changed a lot of the styling and layout, so I was back to square one, luckily while making it responsive I stripped out a lot of double css rules and added variables to make it easier to work with some colours and margins etc.

On top of this scrum is only partly being used, so clients get free reign mid-sprint, a scrum board doesn't exist, story points aren't really discussed they are just guestimated by the Project manager and all tasks are listed as git issues with about a million different labels.

I'm now on a new team where I actually have an interesting project however, the specs keep changing. The senior developer didn't have faith in my implementation, which led to me implementing his idea only for him to realize I was right in the first place. There is no involvement and no one wants to pick up responsibility to the point where I also stopped caring, which I guess is what happened to everyone else here. Wages are low in this country but all the customers are in Europe so it is kind of starting to feel like I'm just really cheap labor for them.

It's just really draining, the traffic here is really bad which causes me to leave in the dark and get home in the dark. There are 2 and a half more months to go and I don't really see it getting better.

Please tell me not all internships are like this and things will get better. Also any tips are welcome, I might be naive or lack experience and I'm just seeing things the wrong way.

I actually took a remote job (hah) thinking that maybe getting out of the office environment would help. Nope, now all communication was online it felt even more stressful. They thought I'd been hit by a car or something when I just stopped contacting them.

Now my resume looks like swiss cheese and it's hard to even get interviews now. I mean, why would you hired someone who has so many short stints at so many different jobs.

I went to a top school as well, so I have to put up seeing my schoolmates making their millions and living lavish lifestyles. I just want a simple life and a job that I can do for more than a year.