Ask HN: Loneliness at 19, how to cope?

Why do you care if people acknowledge your existence?

Some people would love that and see it as a super power. Lots of interesting things going on in the world to explore, you should consider that what you think is the issue is not the answer, it has enough of it's own problems. People are annoying and get in the way of enjoying many things. Go enjoy life and stuff first, your 19, plenty of time to find friends along the way.

My comment is also directed towards OP: you don’t need small talk to make friends.

My mother, father, dogs, and grandparents were all dead by the time I turned 19 years old. I was homeless on and off before then, and I stopped living with my parents at the age of 14. My father was a hoarder and my mother was an alcoholic, and I experienced pretty severe childhood neglect. At 19 I worked bullshit jobs for about a decade before lucking into a programming gig after years of searching, and it's honestly not that great.

Believe me when I say that I spent way too much time on the internet asking for advice on what to do. I had a lot of people try to give me advice, but none of it ever really worked. Most people have not had similar issues, and so don't know what advice to give. I'm 30 now and that's still the case. You can imagine I never fit in anywhere and don't have special connections either. So I will try to give you advice on what worked for me.

Reading is very important. Philosophy from Aristotle and Dostoyevsky helped me. It's important to be honest and recognize the fact that life can be awful and lots of people die alone and unfulfilled. That could be any of us. Exercise is important, get cardio and weight lifting in every day. Eat a good diet. Don't try to make friends at work. Those are coworkers, and many of them will use whatever you tell them as ammunition in a game of politics. Always be looking for a better job, even if you're already employed. Money is one of the most important things to have because it gives you freedom. You aren't guaranteed friends or family but you can always try to make your own life better.

Here's a quote from Hideo Kojima that sums it all up: "If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away. If you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. And if they don't come, you still have your beautiful garden."

Probably the most fulfilling thing you can do in life is raise a happy, productive child in a safe community that you belong to. If you're an American this is all but impossible these days, because getting married is Russian roulette.

I'm sorry if you were hoping for a different answer, but this is what I've got. Godspeed to you.

This is going to sound maybe a bit out there for you but you are in college go find a dance class, ballroom, tango, etc. They have tons and usually lack male participants. Give it a try and it may help you quite a bit. Don't over think this just go, the rest will take care of itself in short order.