Being married with kids helps me. To be able to live for a new family unit and striving to give them a better life than I had, is sustaining.
Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
111–120 of 158 posts
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#112All you need is a simple formula: Figure out roughly how much time and headspace you need for pleasure/leisure/quality time with people, idleness etc. The rest of your time is spent on providing for you and yours, then bettering the world, in that order.
Do these things and realize that if bad things nevertheless happen, they were always beyond your control. Work on not stressing about that which is beyond your control. Don't suffer tragedies twice over.
If providing for you and yours does not leave enough room for happiness, you are in Crisis Mode. Happiness will not be achievable in this time. In this mode, your highest priority after doing what needs doing is to exit the crisis situation.
Disclaimer: this is somewhat tongue in cheek. I do believe this is the right way to live, but it's very much easier said than done.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#113I felt similar things. Therapy helped me a lot.
I got the following from "Zen and the art of saving the planet" by thich nhat hanh. It helped me, perhaps it helps you too. I recommend the book, but please give therapy a shot. You're not broken, but it's important to get a good perspective on the situation. That can help you shift from feeling overwhelmed and helpless to feeling empowered and inspired to help (in whatever way works best for you).
The tnh part: Realize that in nature everything has a beginning and an end. Even things we consider to be permanent/static. The grand canyon wasn't always there. It was formed, and it will not last forever.
The same applies to our society and to humanity in general. Reflect on that. If humanity ceases to exist in its current form, perhaps it will make place for something better.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#114>I feel like we are destroying our planet, destroying our economy, we make poor people poorer, stir political extremes, we alienate the younger generation with social medias, there is war in Europe, everything is about politics when it should be about science and people... I think my opinion is unpopular, but it shouldn't be, and perhaps the fact that it's unpopular is part of the reason why so many people find thems…
> You're putting too much pressure into things that are completely outside of your control Here’s the thing, they’re not! There’s multiple things you can do here. One is that you can choose your battles. Part of life is accepting that you can’t fix everything, or even devote all your effort into it. That isn’t to say “just give up”, it’s more that you should find the best thing an average consumer can do here and jus…
Saving the planet is outside of your control. Caring for it is not.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#115Earlier quoted context omitted.
Your opinion might be unpopular but it shouldn't be. I'm quite well off, have friends, an overall good life, but at the same time was a miserable sack of shit. Until I talked to a therapist. Initially we spoke every week, now I talk to her about once a month. We talk about everything. What bothers me at work. What bothers me in the world. Things that are going well. Things that are unfair. And she's an impartial advi…
>If we break our bones we visit a doctor. If our teeth hurt we visit a dentist. Depends on your health insurance, financial standing and free time. If you're an affluent tech worker you probably would go to a dentist for a toothache. Most people I know would not. I wouldn't compare mental health to broken bones. We've been successfully treating broken bones for thousands of years. Seeking treatment for depression or…
You’re missing his point. He’s making an appeal to see someone trained to help someone having a mental health related issue. This would be in opposition to simply talking to friends and family or balling it up inside.
Your comments about income inequality are valid but the OP stated he has sufficient income that he should be able to find help. My benefits package pays for a dozen therapy sessions and the rest are $25 each. Ironically my company doesn’t provide dental insurance. Apparently being an affluent tech worker means you don’t need to have working teeth ;).
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#116>I feel like we are destroying our planet, destroying our economy, we make poor people poorer, stir political extremes, we alienate the younger generation with social medias, there is war in Europe, everything is about politics when it should be about science and people... I think my opinion is unpopular, but it shouldn't be, and perhaps the fact that it's unpopular is part of the reason why so many people find thems…
> It sounds like you need to speak to a professional and go to therapy. You're putting too much pressure into things that are completely outside of your control, and part of living a healthy live is accepting that you cannot control the universe and learning how to detach yourself from these issues.
It is so funny how thinks matter so little... the things that we as humans put so much weight in. I used to worry so much about work, life, dying in a plane accident (I got nervous everytime I flew). And yet... I got COVID and really fucked me up (even though I am no overweight, have no comorbidities, etc etc... healthy 40 yo adult). As a result of the Covid and AZ vaccines I got an ischemic stroke. Just like that. That has really changed my view of life, now work doesn't matter that much, and my priorities have changed a ton. I still do my job happily and what I do excites me. But you bet I won't be spending the time and effort I spent about 10 years ago when I took a startup from 6 people to Series B. My health (me), family (wife) and extended family (dad, mom, brother) are my main priorities now. And of course, enjoying life.
There are so many things out of our control that shouldn't worry us, and normally the things that matter and that we can control, we decide to let them slide.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not comparing my life with someone so far away from my life as there is just no relation. And besides that, we are the group of people who have the best chance to see the bigger picture due to our good life's.its not helping me if I know that the person in china has air pollution and other issues and is busy with there also stressful life's and is too busy to see climate change Also while I care about bio diversi…
> I'm not comparing my life with someone so far away from my life as there is just no relation. The person so worse off may not be so far away as you imagine.
I don't want to assume this isn't true. Don't get me wrong but I'm avg I think it's true.
When we were in Iran I met people who are open and modern and like everyone else I know.
But then you have plenty of people who wash there close in the river, are highly religios etc.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#118No offense, but don’t get addicted to success. It’s very transient in our lives and doesn’t help you sustain through all the hills and valleys life brings.
Diversify in more areas than finance. Work on yourself. Get healthy, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Turn off the news and get off the devices begetting your anxiety and stress. Don’t worry, be happy.
Worrying about the past or future gets you stuck. Focus on the present, this moment in time. Believe in your own thoughts and you’ll find your own genius.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#119Unpopular opinion: I don’t think we are destroying the planet. There is global warming and there is doom and gloom climate change perpetuated by the media. ESG corporations are spinning this hard too.
Science says otherwise, and I'm not saying this to cause further anxiety, but the picture is crystal clear. In some ways we already did destroy the planet, the biodiversity crisis we are facing appears to be irreversible. In the last 50 years 70% of the wildlife have been lost. We are officially in a mass extinction event. The IPCC climate models paint a grim picture without accounting for carbon-cycle feebacks. There is a major, global drought underway. The temperatures are rapidly climbing. Extreme weather events are increasing in severity. Our entire economy is wildly unsustainable as it is, without including billions of people who yet to get their opportunity of a better life.
Then there is Rupert Murdoch and his propaganda empire suggesting that it's all a liberal conspiracy, which is where you got your information. Don't look up.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#120It's really nice that you care so much. I had a similar problem, worried everything around me might come tumbling down. This was 10 years ago. Over time I just stopped caring and started living my life. Then war in Europe broke out and it all came back. I almost emigrated with my whole family because of my reflex. In the end I almost had an anxiety attack thinking about what the hell am I doing to my family and why - because Russians might come? I burned out one night and the next morning I decided I am not going anywhere. It felt like someone removed a million tons off of my chest. In the end the Russians turned out to be totally incompetent and (at least for now) they weren't coming for me.
You can't control everything (actually there are very few things you CAN control). But there is one thing that is in your control, and that is you. If you feel like you are losing control, go and talk to someone - after all, what is the money good for if you are not well.