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Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

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Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#111

Post by mrfusion »

madaxe_again wrote: post #43
arkitaip wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you had therapy?

Yes. They mostly wanted me to take a lot of drugs, and there was talk of experimental brain surgery, and I just don’t want any of that - whole damn process just made me more stressed and anxious - so now, I just smoke weed from when I wake to when I pass out. I’m damaged, but functional - managed to build a house with my own hands this spring, while writing an ISO27k1 ISMS, while living off grid - I don’t just sit ar…

Don’t underestimate the value of lying on the couch. Also consider a hammock. Very peaceful.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#112

Post by mzarate06 »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #21
mzarate06 wrote: post #18

> One thing I've never really recovered is the passion I had for side projects I know how this feels. After a few bouts of burnout over my ~20 year career, I'm not convinced we fully recover from all of it. I think each bout leaves some permanent damage, along with increased risk of subsequent bouts. I made a similar comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22164678 The best general advice I can give is don…

> I think each bout leaves some permanent damage, along with increased risk of subsequent bouts. Negative experiences tend to produce learned behaviors and reactions that we’re not aware of. These can be overcome, but it takes effort to identify them and implement deliberate changes in our behavior. There are various ways of doing this from self-guided books to professional therapy. It’s not exactly “damage” in the s…

Thanks for this. All good to know, and I wouldn't want to hamper anyone's recovery. I probably should have said "...each bout leaves a successive weakening...". Difference being to your point - I'm uncertain of serious irreversible damage imposed by burnout, in the literal sense.

What I meant to convey, is that w/each bout I felt successively weaker and more sensitive to toxic patterns or conditions recognized from prior bouts. When experienced, I found they took me to bad places more easily (mentally, emotionally, etc.), and for longer durations. I felt less resilient.

And not just compared to who I was before each bout, but also when I inquired, or compared myself, to teammates next to me going through the same conditions. They often didn't feel as affected or concerned. Is that b/c they never experienced burnout? Is it b/c I have, and am more sensitive to it or have lingering effects? I don't know.

But that's what I meant - I feel each bout with burnout takes more out of you, in a way that makes you less resilient to subsequent bouts.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#113

Post by Trex_Egg »

systemvoltage wrote: post #4

Pick up an analog hobby. Something that is tangible and away from the internet, computers and software. Christ, I sound like some loonie but there is pleasure in fixing your car, building a deck, gardening, or learning how to play an instrument. Avoid hobbies that are competitive in nature.

I agree with your view.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#114

Post by sdenton4 »

cableshaft wrote: post #100
sdenton4 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was actually writing Twine code to simulate a bunch of decks of cards for playtesting a game when I wrote my previous comment. Which reminds me of one other important point: "you don't have to monetize your joy." https://repeller.com/trap-of-turning-hobbies-into-hustles/?f...

I don't care about making money in board games. If I did I wouldn't bother, there's not a whole lot of money in there unless you make multiple mega-hits or you one of a handful of publishers, and that's getting harder and harder to do with so many games being put out there every year (I think it's 700+ that debut each year at Gen Con alone). But I would like to find an audience that enjoys playing my designs, and pre…

Yeah, completely agree on all your points. It's a crowded, crowded space.

I'm playing with a design using some decks of cards; Twine seems like it has the right amount of functionality to manage a few different decks without having to print them out. The Twine app is then just a few buttons to draw from different decks, and is really easy to hand off to players. (not that I actually have playtesters at this point, or anything worth playtesting beyond my housemates. :P )

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#115

Post by taurath »

crossroadsguy wrote: post #87
mzarate06 wrote: post #18

> One thing I've never really recovered is the passion I had for side projects I know how this feels. After a few bouts of burnout over my ~20 year career, I'm not convinced we fully recover from all of it. I think each bout leaves some permanent damage, along with increased risk of subsequent bouts. I made a similar comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22164678 The best general advice I can give is don…

Software development is my only expertise and it doesn’t interest me at all. I am very good at it but not excellent. I don’t even think about it beyond the usual 9-5 or so. I don’t want to, I don’t feel like it. I think the effort you need to put or that minimum amount of passion/liking you’ve to put into it, for being very good —> excellent, is just missing from my life (or rather missing from my “work”). I am in mi…

I think coming to an understanding of what you want out of life in general is a big undertaking in itself, and a lot of people coast along with the defaults presented to them and then wake up at 50 and despair that the options are now closed to them once they start thinking about it.

I’d suggest a good therapist to try to understand what you really want out of this one life - I am in the same boat right now, thinking about what I want to do next whether in work or in life. I tend to prioritize lifestyles over specific work/career related goals, but I often get sucked into spending all my energy at work. This gets me paid, and well, but I tend also to burn out after a time when I don’t feel like I can focus on other things.

I for one hope there’s something out there that really calls to me more than programming jobs, but if not or I can’t find it then hopefully I’ll be able to find a life I find worth living regardless.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#116

Post by taurath »

madaxe_again wrote: post #50
ntlk wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The brain can be reshaped again following trauma. The Body Keeps The Score is a book that talks through the effectiveness of different approaches to healing and how they impact brain changes.

Yeah - I was recommended this shortly after I crashed out - good read, interesting insights, and I did find therapy helpful with the more conscious aspects of my collapse. The bits that won’t go away are the dread, the insomnia, the constant anxious waiting for the sky to fall. I think I’ve pared off the behavioural bits over the years and have largely addressed them - but my mind continues to wrestle with intangible…

Trauma informed therapies can be really helpful though psychedelics look to be the most promising short term therapeutics, if they truly pan out. Things like EMDR and IFS can manage to really hit at the core of those intangibles beasts, and start to untangle the web.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#117

Post by madaxe_again »

mrfusion wrote: post #111
madaxe_again wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. They mostly wanted me to take a lot of drugs, and there was talk of experimental brain surgery, and I just don’t want any of that - whole damn process just made me more stressed and anxious - so now, I just smoke weed from when I wake to when I pass out. I’m damaged, but functional - managed to build a house with my own hands this spring, while writing an ISO27k1 ISMS, while living off grid - I don’t just sit ar…

Don’t underestimate the value of lying on the couch. Also consider a hammock. Very peaceful.

Oh, I have the optimal hammock, between two trees, on the riverbank - I can dangle my fingers in the water, surrounded by birdsong in dappled shade. It’s where I spent the rest of yesterday.

It does get better - consciously, I’m a much happier and calmer person than I was - but whatever part of me it is that screams in their sleep and kicks me out of bed in the pre-dawn hasn’t improved one jot. I wish it would.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#119

Post by crossroadsguy »

taurath wrote: post #115
crossroadsguy wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Software development is my only expertise and it doesn’t interest me at all. I am very good at it but not excellent. I don’t even think about it beyond the usual 9-5 or so. I don’t want to, I don’t feel like it. I think the effort you need to put or that minimum amount of passion/liking you’ve to put into it, for being very good —> excellent, is just missing from my life (or rather missing from my “work”). I am in mi…

I think coming to an understanding of what you want out of life in general is a big undertaking in itself, and a lot of people coast along with the defaults presented to them and then wake up at 50 and despair that the options are now closed to them once they start thinking about it. I’d suggest a good therapist to try to understand what you really want out of this one life - I am in the same boat right now, thinking…

It's been difficult, yes. Especially when managers expect you to put in more hours and say it directly or indirectly. And being in a country where expectation of a healthy work-life balance is often made to look like you are slacker is sad.

Shitty work life balance in the software field is one of the reasons I lack passion in the field. People say "try US/EU companies". That's bollocks. Those companies actually propagate it. They have these offshore centres so that they will get cheap talent and they can expect them work their own time zone hours and then match US TZ if nothing then daily for a nightly "sync".

Anyway, I have tried finding a career counsellor and have failed so far. I guess I will keep trying to find it out.

Re: Ask HN: Post Burnout Ideas

#120

Post by dang »

neonological wrote: post #104
NicoJuicy wrote: post #59

I've had a minor burnout 4 years ago where i dropped my side projects. I changed jobs and have been working the longest time on my current side project. One of the most important things is that I don't need to do it today. I can have a week of leave from my side projects if i want. It's working on it consistently that works, without overworking myselve. Question is: what do you care about? Is it about the technology…

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