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Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#111

Post by jurassic »

throwawaypa123 wrote: post #89

As tired as this cliche is, I have to ask if you workout. I found that lifting or intense cardio helps me move out of my funks. When I'm suffering through an intense workout I don't think about anything else. When I finish the workout, I can be so exhausted that I pass out and go to sleep. that in itself is a blessing. Lastly, so much of stress is self-imposed. You are where you are, and whatever plans you have, are…

Came here to say this. Even better if OP can find/afford a gym with a strong social component; I know people who only marginally care about fitness but really really care about seeing their friends at the gym and that is enough get them to go to the gym several times per week. But you won't find this at most cheap commercial chains where people just want to bang out some cardio and get out. You have to look around at more niche facilities to find the right vibe.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#112

Post by cynusx »

weq wrote: post #108

Hey... PTSD is not something u can just walk away from. I was married to a girl who suffered sexual assault/ptsd before we met.... Its one of those conditions that will evolve with you and it will effect you in waves as well as via a steady undertone of anxiety. I recommend you really focus on your healing journey. Its not something you can ignore. If you need someone random to talk to about about this with, send me…

Not to diminish her suffering, but I would like to counter a bit the inevitability of PTSD causing long-term harm.

PTSD occurrence in soldiers follows a bell-curve with only the lower quartile having a sustained psychological disorder. The middle majorities get traumatized but after a varying length of time enter a phase of post-trauma growth. One quartile is not significantly affected by trauma and can shrug it off.

Apparently optimism is a key element of trauma-resistance which is a trainable emotional intelligence skill.

I'd recommend the book "on mental toughness" from harvard business review for some more insights on this

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#113

Post by kempbellt »

Whatever you have to, mate.

Break whatever cycles you feel are detrimental to your emotional/physical/spiritual wellbeing and pave a new path for yourself.

If you have money saved up, or can sell a bunch of stuff and live frugally, get out of your normal space so that you can gather new perspective on life. A few ideas, as I know creativity can be blocked when you're feeling the weight of everything. Feel free to ignore, or take any of these and run with them.

- Go on a road trip, alone or with friends (having friends around will keep your mind from thinking about things), for a week or two. If you don't have a job right now, go longer. Or fly somewhere new.

- Stay in a hotel, or go camping, just because. Break up the norm.

- Learn a new physically engaging skill. Snowboarding takes me out of that burnt out state of mind.

- Go on a silent retreat. Some of them are donation based.

> My coping method to that has been to try to hold my work together more and more

Remember, life may be work, but work is not life.

Most importantly, breathe.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#114

Post by xivusr »

First of all thanks for your honesty here. Sometimes the hardest part is just reaching out.

Many of the challenges you've experienced I've also experienced. I've found that a vacation to a 2nd or 3rd world country for at least 2-3 weeks will help me reset. I think it's a combination of going somewhere I've never been and being able to see people less fortunate who seemingly are happy with much less than what we have here.

Death is incredibly difficult for me to accept..and trying to pretend like I'm fine when Im mourning a loss its near impossible. People tend to be understanding to a point but healing is personal and everyone deals with loss differently.

I've found that helping others is also incredibly rewarding and useful to reconnect when life has pulled the rug out from other me. No matter what I'm going through there is always someone going through something even more challenging. Even if all I can do is listen to them and share their experience. Sometimes that's all any of us need - someone to empathize with our situation.

Finally I add one more thing I've found. I tend to try and avoid pain and have struggled with addiction in the past. Fortunately my last bout of severe depression I used the previous experience and decided to run the Camino de Santiago. I ran the 500+ mile trail from France to the coast of Spain and in a lot of physical discomfort. Most people walk this over the course of a month - I would love to have a chance to do this again with more time. Absolutely life changing and you will make friends from all over the world. Highly recommend trying something uncomfortable -- its an incredible to be able to feel physical pain and yet still be grateful!

I hope you find peace and grow from this!

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#115

Post by cynusx »

pvinis wrote: post #100

I feel I need to disclaimer what I'm about to write so here goes. Disclaimer: It's not my intention to offend anyone or brag or trivialize this. This is me asking a question out of curiosity and concern for my wellbeing. Ok so, everytime I read about someone having a burnout or taking 3 months off to recover from burnout etc, I immediately think "oh here we go again, another crybaby". I know that everyone is differen…

If you can power through it then you've never been in a burnout situation. Burnouts build up over months, if not years to the point you are no longer able to function.

It's not that hard to avoid them if you remain aware of how your environment impacts how you feel and don't just walk around ignoring an environment that puts you in a constant negative state.

Anyway, I do agree that it's an overused term. Some people just need a holiday, a change of job or a different romantic partner and they'll be fine in a short amount of time.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#116

Post by ericmuyser »

The trick to burnout is don't believe it exists. I stopped believing I'm actually burned out, and I've experienced much less burnout by simply not giving into it. Perseverance. But actually it does exist and it can take a strong hold sometimes, but you shouldn't feel yourself "becoming" or easing into burnout. If you are, you're giving into it, letting it take you. Persist until it's an unavoidable thing, then discuss with therapist if needed. Take the advice from others about physical activity and whatnot.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#117

Post by [deleted] »

lostgame wrote: post #17
Ididntdothis wrote: post #5

Do you do any psychological therapy? I don't think you can pull through such a crisis alone or by working hard. I have had similar situations in the past and I have learned that mental well-being is the most important thing. Trying to power through usually doesn't work. Also: When I had trouble I was too embarrassed to tell anybody but actually talking about it is very therapeutical.

I’ve been embarrassed to be honest and also, I suppose, being dishonest with myself and coping with the stress in extremely stupid ways, just being with friends all the time because I really don’t like being alone and having to process everything. My plan is to go to my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, I spent today with my bestie to firstly relax and sort my thoughts out, and told her about some of what’s been going o…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#118

Post by slics »

- at work ask for a task outside of your normal job responsibilities / something different to try and change your thinking

- find someone to share / bounce your concerns with or simply to hangout with

- volunteer to a kitchen soup or some community event ( you will see with your own eyes real pain and struggle)

- visit a church or a social group therapy where people share their stories and find methods to help or recommend help to one another

- buy a camper and work remotely. Park that thing near a lake or water, sunset or sunrise close to a water scenery helps you think and appreciate little things in life that we take for granted due to the craziness that takes most of our daily routine.

Good luck mate. Seek help. It’s out there, you just have to find it. -

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#119

Post by wtracy »

1. Therapy, therapy, therapy. If it's not helping, change therapists until it does.

2. Find activities that help you recharge. It took me a long time to understand that "having fun" and recharging are not the same thing.

3. Look into the possibility of hiring a personal assistant to manage things like cooking and laundry, at least until your symptoms are more manageable.

4. Someone else recommended "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It's an excellent book that I always recommend, but I don't know if it's up to the task of helping with PTSD. Go into it understanding that it will help with a lot of your problems, but probably not all of them.

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