Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#111

Post by Tichy » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 9:59 PM UTC

9ec4c12949a4f3 wrote: post #77

edw519 wrote: post #58

Love him. Unconditionally. And make sure he always knows it. Everything else is just details. With this, things will inevitably fall nicely into place, no matter what tactics you take. Without it, he will be fucked up no matter what you do and will be coming to hacker news in 2028 posting, "Ask HN: I'm confused and depressed and don't know why."

I grew up confused and depressed, meanwhile, my parents did their best to show me every day they loved me and still do, but I feel entirely distant from them. I'm over 20 years old. GG logic, gg.

Any idea why?

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#112

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:00 PM UTC

araneae wrote: post #94

edw519 wrote: post #58

Love him. Unconditionally. And make sure he always knows it. Everything else is just details. With this, things will inevitably fall nicely into place, no matter what tactics you take. Without it, he will be fucked up no matter what you do and will be coming to hacker news in 2028 posting, "Ask HN: I'm confused and depressed and don't know why."

I'm sorry, I really dislike this answer. Obviously this guy knows that he should love his kid. He was looking for specific answers on how to introduce the kid to computing. And you gave him this glib, content-less, greeting card answer. I cannot believe this is the top comment.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#113

Post by codexon » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:04 PM UTC

pavel_lishin wrote: post #95

araneae wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sorry, I really dislike this answer. Obviously this guy knows that he should love his kid. He was looking for specific answers on how to introduce the kid to computing. And you gave him this glib, content-less, greeting card answer. I cannot believe this is the top comment.

It's not the highest scoring one, by far. How is the algorithm determined?

Age and average comment karma.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#114

Post by pavel_lishin » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:11 PM UTC

Tichy wrote: post #107

araneae wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sorry, I really dislike this answer. Obviously this guy knows that he should love his kid. He was looking for specific answers on how to introduce the kid to computing. And you gave him this glib, content-less, greeting card answer. I cannot believe this is the top comment.

Why is it obvious? If it was so obvious, there wouldn't be so many parents failing in it (many perhaps unwillingly).

And yet, if those parents read that comment, they wouldn't have an overnight change of heart.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#115

Post by BCGC » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:11 PM UTC

KoZeN wrote: post #40

GiraffeNecktie wrote: post #31

I would just forget about computers and programming completely and focus on the building blocks by a playful approach to solving day-to-day problems with logic and reasoning. Like how do we decide which things belong together? You can also play progressively more complicated iteration games like for-each-time-this-happens-let's-do-this-this-and-this! Or make complicated rube goldberg devices out of household objects…

Logic & reason are the foundation for almost everything we are hoping to teach him but as far as technology is concerned we really want to encourage him to understand how things work as well as how to use them so I suppose that is what drove me to seek the opinion of the HN collective.

logic and reason and empathy. What use is of logic and reasoning if he turns out to be Hilter (or a female version...)

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#116

Post by Calamitous » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:13 PM UTC

araneae wrote: post #94

edw519 wrote: post #58

Love him. Unconditionally. And make sure he always knows it. Everything else is just details. With this, things will inevitably fall nicely into place, no matter what tactics you take. Without it, he will be fucked up no matter what you do and will be coming to hacker news in 2028 posting, "Ask HN: I'm confused and depressed and don't know why."

I'm sorry, I really dislike this answer. Obviously this guy knows that he should love his kid. He was looking for specific answers on how to introduce the kid to computing. And you gave him this glib, content-less, greeting card answer. I cannot believe this is the top comment.

My takeaway was more along the lines of "Don't worry so much about optimizing his learning path just yet. Love him and care for him and everything will work itself out.

We all want what's best for our children. Unfortunately, this frequently turns into crazy helicopter parenting and a hyperfocus on academics, sports, and activities.

I love my son and I want him to be the best he can be, but I'm more than willing to trade a few of his future IQ points to never ever let him wonder if he's loved for himself, or just his accomplishments.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#117

Post by btilly » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:22 PM UTC

oscilloscope wrote: post #96

Play the board game Go. It's simple, tactile and astoundingly complex. I've found wrapping my head around that game is a similar experience to wrapping my head around programming concepts. Your son will come to you to play board games, whereas teaching programming is something where you'd be driving what your son learns. Building a Go game on the computer is also not that difficult-- but developing AI for it leads de…

The nice thing about go is the handicap system. You can play mutually fun games when there is a very large skill difference. Western games like chess? Not so much.

Plus the simplicity of the rules is helpful for learning for younger players. The rule of thumb is that if they are old enough to not eat the pieces, they are old enough to try playing.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#118

Post by chadgeidel » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:33 PM UTC

If I may add to the wonderful suggestions listed here. Give guidance - of course, but then let him go. Get "into" whatever it is that he is "into". Especially if you don't like it (and, it's not like mistreating puppies or some such). I love my parents, and they did the best job they could raising me, but there were some aspects of my childhood that I wish they were more actively involved with.

Mind you - I'm not blaming them - on the contrary I'm fully aware that every step I've made lead me to the point I am at in life and only I am responsible for my position.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#119

Post by MtL » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:42 PM UTC

I have three pieces of advice I wish every parent in the world could see:

1. Always give your son a new healthy challenge. Let him develop as fast as he can while he is in his prime. If school has a fixed tempo of learning, challenge him in other areas; sports, music, critical thinking, computers, social skills, moral values and ethics, practical skills, helping others, etc.

2. Read "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. He has a few points that made me realize just how much it means to come from a good background, with parents that realize how their kid should be raised to become a independent and successful person.

3. Realize that your son will never become exactly what you wanted him to be. You can introduce him to the world of IT, and you can show him how it is fun to produce your own programs or web pages, but he has to take the choice to pursue an IT career by himself.

Re: Ask HN: How do I give my son a head start?

#120

Post by wwortiz » Tue, Nov 02, 2010, 10:49 PM UTC

btilly wrote: post #110

patio11 wrote: post #7

Read to him when he is young, with him when older. It is the most stupidly effective academic intervention I'm aware of.

Read to him when he is young, with him when older. It is the most stupidly effective academic intervention I'm aware of. Actually evidence suggests that this is not true. Energy spent reading to kids helps a bit, but what makes a long-term difference is to be seen frequently reading for yourself. Otherwise you wind up in the trap that the kid learns that reading is for babies.

You are right that that is how you get a child to like reading when they are older but reading to them and with them is also a great way for them to learn especially since they are interacting with a parent, while picking up language cues and other such things.