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Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

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Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#111

Post by koliber »

cientifico wrote: post #99

Workout, meditation, distraction, talking with people didn't work for me. They were ways to silent the emotions and postpone the problem. What worked for me was a lot of self reflexion. Understanding way I was angry in the first place. I found out that happiness is just the way of approaching things. That the world is just a projection on your head. An interpretation of the five senses + state (learned experience mos…

I really like your explanation. Incidentally, what you describe in paragraphs 2+ is what I understand "meditation" to be.

You mentioned that meditation did not work for you. Can you explain what you take "meditation" to mean? It may help me and others what meditation is and what it strives to achieve.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#112

Post by stewbrew »

nyxtom wrote: post #25

I know some people here have suggested jumping to another position, which certainly is a viable option, but consider the fact that emotional hardship will always occur in our lifetimes. Similarly, it's worth gaining some self-awareness around why things are activating, whether they be good or bad (activating or deregulating your system in a heightened state or a low-energy state). My advice is see a therapist on a so…

I'm against pathologising any normal reaction to stress. When the anger reaches a point where it actually becomes a painful hindrance in daily life it's an option to think about though. But there are also coaching and life counseling (not sure what the proper English terms are).

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#114

Post by xerophyte12932 »

jypepin wrote: post #85
tomashertus wrote: post #78

The thread is full of great answers and advices, but I haven't came across this one: I was dealing with similar situation like you. I had a hard time to find peace after work at home. I was looking for advices around and once came across an article(I can't find the article) which recommended that you should not stop doing activities which you liked as a child when you are an adult. When I was thinking about it, that…

this resonates a lot. I recently moved and now I have the space for a desk at home which allows me to play video games again, which I loved doing at a kid (starcraft, etc) and had to stop doing due to space for 4-5 years. Now that I picked up video games again, I feel better and it's the best way for me to get my mind off work!

I feel the same way.

Recently I was facing a lot of escalating work-related stress that was spilling over to my home life. So I invested in a xbox 360 gamepad and started playing a lot of indie games on my laptop.

Best part of my day! Completely takes the stress away and I feel "recovered" when I go back to work the next day.

Random Game Suggestion: Mages of Mysteralia. I love how it lets you craft your own spells like drag-and-drop programming. So it touches TWO of my childhood loves

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#115

Post by xerophyte12932 »

Mz wrote: post #8

I have known a number of people, including my ex, who needed some time to successfully make the transition without bringing baggage home. When my ex was having a bad day at work, he would come home and spend about an hour on his computer before he could talk with me without it going weird places. I have had conversations with people who talked about "Yeah, this is the real reason I stop at my favorite pub on the way…

This resonates with me. I realize I usually need some me time when I get home from work before I am ready to spend time with people. And I realize I end up very stressed if for some reason I get denied this down time.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#116

Post by tonyedgecombe »

bshimmin wrote: post #88
tonyedgecombe wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shifting to contracting helped me with this, as a contractor I was able to keep an emotional distance from the work, I always knew I only had a few more weeks or months and so if they wanted me to produce crap then so be it.

I've found an interesting divide amongst contractors on this - some are happy to treat it precisely that way, complaining a little about the crap they have to produce, but mostly content with the fact that it's not forever, maybe the next contract will be great, and the money really makes up for whatever crap you have to deal with. (Let's face it, if you're contracting and you're not making good money, you're just do…

I guess it helped that I mostly did short term contracts, I think the longest was six months, often they were just a couple of weeks.

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#117

Post by maneesh »

safek wrote: post #46
maneesh wrote: post #21

This is one of the most common use cases for users of our wearable device, Pavlok. Adding a zap when noticing negative emotion kicks you out of automatic limbic system mode, and into human awareness/prefrontal cortex mode. Here are a couple users who spoke about it https://pavlok.com/blog/how-to-reduce-negative-thoughts-and-... https://pavlok.com/blog/alex-t-kicked-anger-problem/

Holy shit are you the dude who was on Shark Tank? That episode was hilarious hahahaha

Yea

Re: Ask HN: How to not bring emotion from work back home?

#119

Post by b0n40 »

My 5 cents... If you are reaching the edge point you dont know how to meditate.

I will recommend to read just few books for a start 1. Dao - Lao Tzu 2.The Willpower Instinct - Kelly McGonigal 3. The Art of War by Sun Tzu

you are not going to reach self-knowing or self-control using other people's thoughts. Everything good comes from the walked path, It takes time and practice.

And the way is not only to evolve from inside but from outside too, so "workout" daily is also important part.

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