Do you have a significant other or friend network? Might I suggest putting down the work and computer and go out? If you're pulling in 20k/month, just keep banking it and after your 9/10 hours of work a day get out. Find someone to spend time with outside of your family. Platonic or non-platonic, just someone that isn't YOU and the echo chamber of your family. It'll make you feel much better.
Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
101–110 of 158 posts
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#102I’m really sorry you’re struggling with so much fear and anxiety. I’ve been there. Therapy and medication can help. I’m guessing you don’t get much exercise or good sleep. I had to focus on therapy and medication before I could try to get more exercise and good sleep but maybe for you, you can try to exercise and get better sleep right away. But definitely find a therapist.
And maybe talk to a financial advisor, if you’re anxious about money maybe they can reassure you.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#103Congratulations on your awareness and reaching out for help. Asking for help is the opposite of giving up.
Just this week a client told me that despite the external world crashing down around them, crypto vaporzing the majority of their net worth, and major uncertainty, our work together has in just a few sessions given them a deep sense of calm and confidence and capacity to take on these new challenges.
Here is a frame that has been helpful for me and my clients (I’m the personal coach to some of the most interesting and kind hearted Unicorn technical Founders in the world).
What if what you’re calling “feelings” are actually exiled parts of yourself that are returning now exactly because you have the space and resources (internally and externally) to integrate them back into who you are?
What if it’s like you’ve reached a stage in your personal heros journey that requires you pickup these capacities before you can move on to the next challenges?
What if instead of trying to “get rid of them”, which is mirroring what culture did to these parts of you previously, you were to WELCOME and invite in the feelings like old friends, wise teachers or gurus?
Could you breathe into the feelings, journal, ask them what they are here to teach you or what they need?
Could you give them voice?
Could you take them into a Breathwork practice?
And ideally, could you get support of a mentor who can help guide your integration?
Is it possible that on the other side is a much more whole, loving compassionate version of you?
Could doing this work also put you in the best position to be able to help solve the challenges you see around you?
- Happy to drop in with you for 15 minutes sometime and share other tools and resources more deeply.
http://AnthonyDavidAdams.com/15 if you want to book a call.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#104Sometimes some long term vision or commitment can help. Set yourself multiple personal goals with a time horizon of 2-10 years. This gives purpose and sets the focus on what you decided is important. These goals can be split into yearly and monthly subgoals. Again, these goals give purpose. I would not go more short term, they should be realistic but big, and something you work/play/enjoy/fight towards to.
Some random ideas: Build/buy a perfect house, have enough money for X years runaway but no more, create a local organization, spend X amount to help locals in Y, travel for Z months, live in place Y for Z months, create a self sustaining organization on any topic, address climate change in your area by doing X, create something that is bigger than you ever could do alone, or destroy something big.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#105Praying the Psalms has changed my life.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#106I gave up looking at my anxiety in a negative way. Instead i look at it as a tool my subconscious and body use to communicate with my conscious mind to raise flags about potential issues. I’ve heard about people among my circle die during the pandemic because they were careless. Here i am not even having been infected. I hear about people struggling to pay for gas yet here i am driving my 10mpg two seater just for fu…
Thank you for saying this. My anxiety ( when it manifests ) usually is a good indicator I am moving in the wrong direction and need to correct my course. I wonder if anyone did any studies on its evolutionary basis.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#107I don’t believe this kind of statement in general. It’s a whitewashed way to say “I’ve tied up my self worth in money. I like keeping score and reminding myself of where I stand relative to other people “. In short, it’s ego. But no one wants to say that so they make up stuff about “providing for their family”.
With a decreasing birth rate and labor participation rate, is it not reasonable to predict competition for labor to be higher in future years? And competition for resources in general, such as fuel, water, food, and desirable land to be higher in future years?
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#108It's sometimes easy to get really scared of things you haven't thought all the way through. What _specifically_ are you scared of? Do you have reason to be scared of consequences of global warming that will be deadly in your generation? Are you scared about some kind of disastrous societal collapse greater than the World Wars, French Revolution or the collapse of the USSR? Are you afraid of not being able to enjoy some of your current luxuries, or are you afraid of you and your family dying?
If you don't really analyse these things, it can become easy to only think a slightly bad thing is likely, but feel the fear of some catastrophic impossible worst-case scenario happening, just because you haven't disentangled the two.
Also, I don't agree with your money-centric analysis. It's great that you're saving up all this money, but money is also transitory, and the things you're investing your savings in might collapse. It sounds like you instead have something much more valuable. Based on your salary, you probably have skills valued by society and are a hard worker. This probably means that even if you had $0 in the bank and had to start from scratch, you'd manage.
Therapy will help with these things. If it does, perfect. If you go and it doesn't, you can just stop going. You can definitely afford it.
Good luck! :)
Edit: Oh, and stop reading the news and focus on your work. It's obviously incredibly easy to get a doomsday perspective by reading about all the bad things happening all the time. This does not mean only bad things happen, plenty of good things do as well.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#109Hey there. I know exactly what you mean and why you are going through this.
This is the fate of very talented AND moral/just/fair people – who work in a social environment where there is no social equality.
For reference: I worked in India where the average monthly salary is much lower than what you said. Curse of being talented/rewarded, when you walk/bike through the streets where everyone is struggling to live, and the government doesn't care and all your tax dollars go to waste.
Do any of the following. It will make you feel better:
* Donate, small but regularly. Know a school for disadvantaged kids nearby, or a facility for elderly? Donate them $250/month. You will immediately feel better. You don't neeed to spend time for this, just do it.
* Or volunteer. Spend a few months in a country more desperate than your current country. Contact your local UNICEF or Red Cross and volunteer as a consultant. You don't need any special skills. If you can take care of your own expenses (food, travel) – they will be happy to fit you in any of their programmes. You will need to invest time for this.
* Or last but contentious: Move to a country where your tax dollars are properly used and you can personally see it in your eyes as society being more equitable and harmonious. I'm talking about Europe. You won't feel the urge to correct an imbalance when your tax dollars already work for society.
You feel morally repugnant to be rich in a poor society. There is nothing wrong about feeling that way. It makes you a real human. Don't try to cure yourself out of it. Just act on it. Do what can be reasonably done within your individual reach.
Edit: minor grammar.
Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness
#110Hey there. I know exactly what you mean and why you are going through this. This is the fate of very talented AND moral/just/fair people – who work in a social environment where there is no social equality. For reference: I worked in India where the average monthly salary is much lower than what you said. Curse of being talented/rewarded, when you walk/bike through the streets where everyone is struggling to live, an…
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