Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

That's a lot of different issues in a single post.

IT is getting boring and a lot of things are just being reinvented badly, that's true. Aside from some very small niches that might be worth exploring if you still care.

That most things in life naturally get harder as you get older, is also evident. You'll just have to try more and build on your experience (regarding friends, relationships, startups).

Don't worry, at 35 you're still very young, it's the best age for many things (relationships...). Many people will envy you for that and for the freedom you have, not being stuck with the burden of responsibility (from family life, having your own company etc.).

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice:

1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of your life. So finding that person will keep you occupied for 2-5 years.

2.) Get kids. Having never imagined to be a father and now having three kids, I have to admit I always feel sorry for people who don't have kids. I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore. This might be complete bs but certainly floats my boat. I got my "finding meaning in life" completely covered by getting those three buggers into a good position for their life. That will keep me busy for the next 15 years.

3.) Don't take your job too seriously. There is Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and Henry Ford but for 99.99% percent of the people here on HN (me and presumably you included) what you do in your work life will not really matter for generations to come. It pays the bills, it should be interesting enough not to bore you to death, you should have colleagues that are in their majority "friend material". That's it.

I always imagine my live as a pizza with three slices: personal (some sport, watching movies with friends, reading books, etc.), family and work. Ideally, each one should be about a third of the pizza, ie. have a third of your attention and time. There are times when this is not possible but it should be the state you are striving towards.

I remember feeling similar when I was about your age. All of a sudden I looked around and, where I was spending my time, everyone was a lot younger and I felt out of place. I didn’t want to be the old guy in the room.

So I made changes. Big changes. Rearchitected my life, if you will. They were not easy. But I’ve learned a ton over the journey. I miss the old life, and I’m grateful for this life I made, worlds apart from where I was before. And I don’t think about how it could have been, because that’s not how it is.

Now I’m in a similar situation again. I’m evaluating what changes I want to make. I think a lot about where I’ve been and where I want to be in 10 years, which helps me shape my decision making.

But it’s the little voice inside that I have to pay real close attention to before I make any big change. When I feel out of touch with that little voice, I know I need to work on my spiritual connection.

It’s not an easy place to be feeling lost, out of place, not sure what to do. I know that feeling very well. I was feeling it yesterday like a ton of sand weighing on my soul.

But today’s a new day. And I’m feeling alive. Thank you for your post, and this chance to think through my own decision making. Carpe diem!

Lock up your savings. Live “lean” for a few years. Read. Keep a garden. Eat healthy, get plenty of physical exercise. Dream of creating a legacy in your life that is not a waste of your humanity.

I'm at this point now, with almost 10 years more on my ledger. Between 30 and 40 I experienced the time of my life. I had not that much money but I traveled, got in touch with a lot of people, had some sporty hobbies, I was creative and yes I also dated a lot of women, but never was in a serious relationship. Looking back this would be what I call "freedom".

No I got a child, a well payed job and no time for nothing. I'm still kind of excited for new stuff, but I just don't have the time to pursue that. And that makes me feel sad and not needed, too. I became a consumer, am not a creator anymore. And I don't know what to do about it.

So yeah, not helpful, but I just wanna tell you, that you're not alone =)