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> " I sat down the other night to get started in a grand project I’ve been getting so excited about and I just couldn’t and this seems to be pretty common lately. The projects I dream up are super cool feats of hacker ability " "I keep dreaming up these high status projects and imagining all the people who will respect me and all the money I'll make, nothing to do with code or fun or problem solving. They need skills…
Maybe try something new related to programming? I can think of a few things that might be interesting (no idea if you've already done them though): * Try a language like Racket. It can feel really liberating, because it's so easy to just get boilerplate stuff out of the way. Beautiful Racket is a nice book to kinda give you a feel for it. [1] * Maybe try doing homebrew development for an old game console? Gives you a…
That being said, it sounds like what you're missing is a group to work on projects with. You don't have to take the lead on programming, instead you can lead a small group of people in the right direction while taking the lead on a product and learn a lot there, or take on sales and marketing. That's exactly how I work on side projects, I have a group of 2-3 great engineers with a diverse set of interests, and I work more on the business side and get brought in for architecture/stuck-on-a-hard-problem types of things.
Beyond even changing, it's incredibly hard to be motivated and push a project forward alone. Having a group makes it a lot easier, and I'd imagine that's a big part of why there are almost no VC backed solo founders.
Now, normally I'd say we need to push through this. But I think instead we need to give ourselves some space given the current circumstances: We're in the middle of a global pandemic and in the US we're in the middle of some political and epistemological upheaval that's actually making the pandemic worse for us than it is for many other countries. So maybe we need to figure this out for a bit?
I find myself reading a lot of history and philosophy now trying to figure out how we got here - that seems to be where my drive is at this point. Maybe take a break. Don't try to force it - it's like falling asleep, the harder you try, the more impossible it becomes.
You may find that something simple and really only for yourself -- something where the comparison to others comes up, but doesn't matter so much -- could really help. I've found a surprising amount of amusement in adding Velcro patches to my backpacks, making watchbands with Hypalon and stuff like that.
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Ultimately you won't really know if it's a good thing until after the fact. I think just following my nose and doing what felt good in the moment was a big help. I guess it helped that I'd been trained as a youth counsellor early in my career, and I've been helping people my whole life as a by-product of who I am. A lot of people over the years have told me I should be a counsellor because apparently I'm really good…
Appreciate this comment very much, thank you!
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You can also buy a motorcycle. It's cheaper that therapists in the long term.
As someone who has motorcycled in the past... Naw. It ain't going to be cheaper. More adrenaline causing perhaps, but not cheaper. Between buying accessories, upgrades, and different styles, you'll be paying them off for awhile. One a more serious note: Riding a motorcycle won't cure depression. Depression, on the other hand, can make you not want to motorcycle anymore.
It's a nice escape, but I definitely think dealing with these feelings directly by talking them out with a therapist / journaling / meditation is the only way to deal with them effectively (although it's still hard)
Of course, it could be you need to find a completely different hobby to fulfil you. Only you can say what position you're in, whether you just need to reignite your passion for programming or whether it's gone for good.