I’m 30 and haven’t really had much dating experience. It boggles my mind how people are already married by 30. How does dating work? Serious question.
It is a wildly different experience if you are male vs female.
Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
101–110 of 553 posts
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#102german language. And I'm living in Berlin.
Where in Berlin do you really need to speak German?
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#103I want to leave my country for work/ study reasons, but I don't know how to start or where to look. I'm a EE graduated from a university here in South America (Chile) and currently working as a SW lead in IoT / fullstack projects. Every time I look outside (linkedin, /cscareerquestions, HN), there are people with far more experience or qualifications. It makes me feel my ideas are all wishful thinking. That the succe…
Intenta conseguir trabajo en Estados Unidos. Para los chilenos es mas facil que incluso un Europeo conseguir trabajo en Estados Unidos por la visa H1B1. Pero ojo que solo las empresas grandes estan dispuestas a hacer la pega que implica (Abogados y esas cosas). Ademas a los SW les pagan mucho mejor aqui que en cualquier parte del mundo.
Source: Chileno en USA
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#104Feeling always behind the others. I've recently completed my master in CS while working full time. I still feel that I'm vastly behind other people in terms of compensation and knowledge. I can never be motivated at my current work when I know there are new grads making double or triple of my current salary.
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#105I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…
Mid-life crisis? How do you feel about Corvettes?
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#106OCD. Lately I've been struggling with what they call inflated responsibility. I typically ruminate that something I said, something I did, or something I did not say or do will have some large negative effect on some or something and that I will be responsible for it. It's immensely stressful to worry about. I'm seeing a therapist to work on my issues.
I also struggle with OCD. Have for 2 decades now.
It's easily the #1 thing I struggle with more than anything (repetitive thoughts to be precise) and it's a pain in the *.
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#107Lack of (career) ambition. Because of a workaholic dad I sworn to myself to always choose an easy worklife. Take the easy path. Currently in a family with kids and a nice job, but I lack the motivation to really make a career. Sure it's a fun (programming) job with a lot of freedom. But I only do what is necessary, nothing more. Money is not an issue or driver for me. People may see me as lazy. Will I regret this?
Also, is playing videogames in your thirties considered childish? I sometimes get the impression that people do. Not sure how to respond to that.
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#108I struggle with imagining the second act of my life. In my first act - my 20s - I got more exciting jobs than I could hope for, started two organizations I am proud of, made friends for life, was popular enough that people knew who I was before I knew who they were. For various reasons, I left this first act - both mentally and geographically. Today I have a family, emotional and financial stability, and job prospect…
I hear you! I'm in my late 30s and, although I don't have a family, I'm in a similar sounding situation myself. My first act sounds pretty similar to your own and, for one reason or another, in the last few years I've undergone a similar sounding shift.
Although it's all for the good, I've found the shifting identity tough (I've always had a very clear self identity). When talking to others, any description of myself or something in my life that I've come out with has been accurate but several years out of date.
Very recently (last month or two) I've started to notice a little bit of change around this. I suppose enough things have happened to this version of myself that I'm starting to build some identity around that, as well as just being more comfortable with the new situation in general. I have also been reading and thinking about a lot of Buddhist philosophy, which I think has helped give me some perspective.
I hope you're able to find whatever viewpoint you need to move through this situation. I'm sure that you will - life has such a broad and deep variety of experiences and there are many different avenues for adventure and reward.
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#109Keeping the amount of opened tabs in my browser below ten...
Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?
#110My relationship with money. I make more than like 98% of the population but my parents grew up middle/lower class so I'm just constantly worried about having enough for retirement, and having enough money for kids, and having enough money for their education, AND any possible illnesses/issues having seen families with health insurance crippled by things like cancer treatments. It seems like no matter what, I find mys…
If you can live on 15% then you only need ~4x your salary in savings to retire.
See: https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/05/29/how-much-do-i-nee... and https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/
Insurance at it's core is amortization for individual risks you cannot bear the burden of, but as a group people could. Things like illness, accidents, disability etc. I recommend you get a fiduciary and explore insurance for the risks and annuities if you want to remove risk around your income too .
For most people the challenge is that they're running much higher than 15% of their pay. So it takes forever to get the equity required to no longer need an income stream (AKA job)