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Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

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Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#11

Post by aki-xiii »

As someone with a similar background as yours (I was an international CS student who first learned programming in the freshman year at a English-speaking college), I can only say that you are not alone in this struggle. If I can give an advice to my younger self, I would ask myself not to beat myself too much for not being able to be as smart as the people around me. In short, don't compare yourself to others, because it gives more harm than good. Instead, appreciate the good thing you have done and keep doing your best at whatever things in front of you.

> I tend to make a lot of syntax errors. I also tend to rely on documentation a lot.

Believe it or not, many of us who work in the software industry rely heavily on IDE to fix syntax errors. My suggestion here is try to pick your favorite language and keep practicing (and make mistakes) until you're comfortable using it. I hate to say that there is no shortcut in getting better. Small mistakes are tolerable, even when you're doing whiteboard interview later on. More importantly, I would say that understanding concepts in programming languages is a LOT more important than remembering syntax (i.e. memory management in C, heavy emphasis of OO in java, functional programming in scheme, and so on).

As for relying on the documentation, it does not come across as a bad thing to me. For example, before I call a function from a 3rd party library, every so often I check the documentation for it. From there I can learn the contract of the code or some gotchas that I need to be aware of.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#12

Post by kazinator »

> I also tend to rely on documentation a lot.

I'm writing some code in a language that I made myself from scratch. I rely on the reference manual quite a lot. Thank goodness I wrote one or else I'd have to go into the source code.

I make syntax errors even though I designed the machine that is telling me that I make syntax errors.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#13

Post by DanBC »

> I'm super self-conscious when I'm coding as well as when I'm speaking English--my 3rd language.

Wow, most people only speak one language and they do that badly. You speak 3! Your English is good in that post.

If this anxiety is affacting your day to day life you might want to consider a short corse of therapy. You could probably use a book or website.

"Mind Over Mood" is a respected book. http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898...

MoodGym is a respected Australian website. https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

If you decide to use a therapist make sure you find someone with a reputable registration and that you are clear going in what you want to work on. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is probably useful. It should take 8 to 14 weeks at an hour per week.

> And I tend to make a lot of syntax errors. I also tend to rely on documentation a lot. Furthermore, I tend to make a lot of stupid mistakes when I'm speaking English even though I have been living and attending college in an English-speaking country for the past three years.

You are not stupid, and the mistakes you make are not stupid. English is hard! There are at least 7 different ways to pronounce "ough" (like in "rough" or "through" etc). It's tough for people to learn. Stresses on syllables come in different places. You might think that making mistakes is always bad and that everyone will judge you. Some people will judge you, but many more won't notice and even of the people who notice there'll be some people who don't care.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#14

Post by myth_buster »

I've been in a similar situation as you. I come from a third world country and didn't have access to computers until my late teens and started learning CS fundamentals only after my undergraduate studies. Given this, the US tech scene has been quite competitive and intimidating since there are highly talented people who started coding when they were very young. Initially I was battling with self-doubt but once I understood above points, I've been trying to bridge the experience gap. And it's quite easy to chug along if you love what you are doing.

So I would say that it's unfair to compare yourself with others as the circumstances for everyone is different. Just use yourself as reference and see whether you are better off than you were in the past. One tell-tale sign of progress is that when you look at your code/work from recent past, you will think of a lot of things you would do differently and sometimes you would think "what the hell you were thinking then" which is a great thing. :)

One of my mantras (which I may have picked from somewhere subconsciously) is:

  Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon.
So slow and steady may indeed win the race.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#15

Post by dschiptsov »

Realize (accept, internalize) that we make mistakes no matter how hard we are trying to avoid them, so being too anxious about making one is just a waste of effort (oxigen, glucose) and self-impoverishment.

Grammar mistakes in third languages are OK, the meaning of what you are intended to say is what is important. From could be imperfect if it makes sense. Striving for a perfect order of long words is what killed lots of would be writers.

Same concepts work for programming. As long as your data-structures are repressing the problem domain adequately and choice of related algorithms is reasonable, all the minor mistakes or errors doesn't matter.

BTW, there is no such thing as error in universe. It is mere a wrong path (branch) taken (take a look at what is a heuristic-based depth-first limited back-tracking search).

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#16

Post by johnloeber »

myth_buster wrote: post #14

I've been in a similar situation as you. I come from a third world country and didn't have access to computers until my late teens and started learning CS fundamentals only after my undergraduate studies. Given this, the US tech scene has been quite competitive and intimidating since there are highly talented people who started coding when they were very young. Initially I was battling with self-doubt but once I unde…

You're right that life is not a sprint, but I'd like to go one step further:

Life is not a race. :-)

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#17

Post by andrew-lucker »

Just stop it.

Seriously though, you learn a new human language and jump into one of the most intense fields of study and start having an inferiority complex? With that attitude you'll need to be world renowned before you have confidence to speak in public.

If there is anything I can do to help, as a native English speaker with programming/CS experience, my email is in my profile. Best of luck.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#18

Post by mandeepj »

> I also tend to rely on documentation a lot.

This is the best way to work. I am speaking from my experience. It will keep you on right track to get things done.

> I tend to make a lot of stupid mistakes when I'm speaking English

try to be friends with your class\batch mates. It is far easier than becoming friends with outside people (strangers). Go out on lunch\drinks with them. Slowly your circle with increase and eventually you will see improvement in your communication and socializing skills.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#19

Post by hliyan »

Consider the following approach: start with simple problems you know you're good enough to solve, and then send them out of the ballpark -- basically, do such a complete, perfectionist job that you can't help but be impressed with yourself. If a subject is baffling you, consider picking a small area within it and then throwing all your energy at it and killing it dead. Confidence comes with success. Small successes can build up to bigger ones.

Edit: But persevere. It's my experience that it takes at least a year of work for any significant rewiring of personality and attitudes.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#20

Post by pyre »

> I also tend to rely on documentation a lot.

I rely heavily on resources like StackOverflow, Google, official docs and Dash.app is a godsend for offline-coding. There are many functions (python) standard library functions that I know by name, but I never remember the call-signatures for. I am always looking things up in documentation.

Things that I use all of the time are ingrained into memory through rote repetition.

That said, the most important thing is knowing what exists. If you don't know that a function or method exists, then you don't know to use it. As long as you know that it exists, you can (usually) easily lookup the documentation for how to use it.

> I freak out when I have to pair program with someone or when someone else is reviewing my code.

I've always hated being in the driver's seat for pair programming. I always feel like I make stupid mistakes and my fingers stumbled over the keys whenever someone is looking over my shoulder (this doesn't just apply to pair programming). I much prefer to just put in my headphones, get into the zone and let the rest of the world melt away as I dive into the problem at hand.

My suggestion here? Let someone else into the driver's seat for pair programming and don't be afraid to ask questions, especially if you consider the other person more skilled than yourself. If the person gets annoyed at your asking questions, then they aren't a very good mentor.

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