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Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
11–20 of 45 posts
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#12Email me (email in profile). I've coped with depression before, can relate to how you are feeling and perhaps give you interview tips / a resume review.
Seconded about seeing a doctor- seeing a therapist as needed is one of the best things I've done.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#13I am pretty sure there is something you like to do. Get good at a tiny small particular thing first before you extend your interest to other things. If it helps, I used to be a test engineer who was tasked to run test cases manually. You know what I did? In me spare time I wrote an extremely dumb and simple executor that did my job. Management realized the potential, they let me write a better tool now with their approval. This was 10 years ago. Today I still struggle with Java and sometimes with Python but I found a handful of languages that I really like and I am focusing on getting better with those, kind of ignoring what is mainstream. I regularly fail job interviews (the last one few days ago, using codility) but I keep interviewing so I can do those better over time as well. I do one interview per week as a minimum. I try to contribute things to open source projects. Even stupid simple things like this (https://github.com/cloudera/hue/pull/68) it is not even code, it is configuration, but we needed that few jobs back.
I don't think I am particularly talented, but I spent so much effort on this (learning how to write software) that I can say today that I am a mediocre software engineer. Again, just think about it. I spent 10 years on this. In the meantime I did everything that I could, being Linux admin, systems engineer, data engineer, just to keep myself running. Almost forgot, I never received any formal education in computer science.
My co-workers run circles around me when it comes to programming, yet my persistence helps me to outperform them.
I guess what I am trying to say is: - don't give up - expect success over time (1-2 years as a bare minimum) - try to start with a simple thing, as simple as it gets (QA, DevOps, anything where you don't need to flip binary trees on a whiteboard :) )
This was my story, I hope it helps.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#14I am pretty sure there is something you like to do. Get good at a tiny small particular thing first before you extend your interest to other things. If it helps, I used to be a test engineer who was tasked to run test cases manually. You know what I did? In me spare time I wrote an extremely dumb and simple executor that did my job. Management realized the potential, they let me write a better tool now with their app…
Your story is heartening. I wish it would work for me. Nothing really makes me happy or interested. I could lay in bed all day if I didn't force myself to get out.
I think it's great that you didn't have any formal education, and you have gone farther than me, someone with formal education and 'seven years' of experience.
> guess what I am trying to say is: - dont give up - expect success over time (1-2 years as a bare minimum) -
I've been unemployed for a year. I think my career is over. Other, better people can do more.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#15I am pretty sure there is something you like to do. Get good at a tiny small particular thing first before you extend your interest to other things. If it helps, I used to be a test engineer who was tasked to run test cases manually. You know what I did? In me spare time I wrote an extremely dumb and simple executor that did my job. Management realized the potential, they let me write a better tool now with their app…
Your story is heartening. I wish it would work for me. Nothing really makes me happy or interested. I could lay in bed all day if I didn't force myself to get out. I think it's great that you didn't have any formal education, and you have gone farther than me, someone with formal education and 'seven years' of experience. > guess what I am trying to say is: - dont give up - expect success over time (1-2 years as a ba…
I think you just need to talk to a professional who can help you to get motivated and interested and the rest comes after that.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#16First, please go see a doctor. You know how shitty you feel right now? That isn't a normal state of being. I've been there, I really have, I know it feels hopeless right now, but I promise it's not. If you're anything like me you might feel that getting anti-depressants is somehow wrong or cheating, or that you're admitting defeat , but you know what? They are just another tool that you can use to improve your life.…
Did OP said he is depressed? Did he say that he cannot do anything? He said he keeps failing, and is feeling bad because of that, which is 100% normal. Can we stop diagnosing every case like this as a case of depression? Just because you had depression, doesn't mean every case of 'having a bad time', is a case of depression, and you have to hasten every one having a bad time to take anti-depressants. I am seeing this trend growing in HN.
I think measures like that should be only considers IF you can't figure out WHY you are depressed. If you know why you are depressed, taking anti-depressants will only cure/suppress the symptoms, and without coming to terms with the actual fact that is making you depressed, you will be dependent on drugs for a long time.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#17> no one wants to hire me
Are you getting feedback from the job interviews that you can share here, so we can give more targeted advice?
> I'm in the wrong field
Are you sure yet? Do you enjoy programming and tinkering with computers in general? If so it probably is not completely the wrong field. Although the roles you are applying for may be wrong for you.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#18It would be helpful to get more detailed information in order to provide more targeted suggestions. What is your educational background? What is your work experience? What languages/domains have you worked in?
C/C++, learning python, ruby over the lst couple of years. Been working for several years, graduated with bachelors from a cow college no one has heard of. bug fixing. that's all i've ever done. anytime i try to move into a dev role they shut me out. Writing new code was not an option; tinkering with new code was not really allowed. I thought about what I could do to make things better but they're already fairly opti…
I think it would be worth stepping back and taking a higher level view of your skills, in order to see where you are best suited and can provide value.
For example, I know that I am only an average programmer when it comes to detailed systems level work. I would fail at a Google style interview because I do not know the Big O values for common algorithms. I cannot tell you how a Red-Black tree works without having to look it up. But I discovered that I was very fast at writing software of average difficulty that has few bugs. So I work at a small company and crank out lots of software that saves the company money by automating manual processes. By aligning my best skills with a company that needs them it becomes a win/win.
Maybe in your case you are very detailed orientated and so software testing would be a good fit. Maybe you are great at translating users needs into requirements and so should be a business analyst. Maybe you have a wide range of skills but lack depth in one area, so work as a jack-of-all trades in a small company. Stop thinking only about your ability to write some code and look at the wider context and where you best fit in.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#19First, please go see a doctor. You know how shitty you feel right now? That isn't a normal state of being. I've been there, I really have, I know it feels hopeless right now, but I promise it's not. If you're anything like me you might feel that getting anti-depressants is somehow wrong or cheating, or that you're admitting defeat , but you know what? They are just another tool that you can use to improve your life.…
Did OP said he is depressed? Did he say that he cannot do anything? He said he keeps failing, and is feeling bad because of that, which is 100% normal. Can we stop diagnosing every case like this as a case of depression? Just because you had depression, doesn't mean every case of 'having a bad time', is a case of depression, and you have to hasten every one having a bad time to take anti-depressants. I am seeing this…
He is "I feel like eating a bullet would make the world a better place." even joking about life ending events can show visualization and ideation and the fact that he/she feel like the world would be a better place clearly shows long term self devaluation. A person that has overcome depression can clearly spot the signs in another person, it's very strange you don't see them in yourself when you are in it, but once you overcome it you instantly see the tell tail signs in others. The OP clearly exhibits signs of depression, whether it situational or long term is unknown but they clearly need professional help. I understand that depression is way over-diagnosed much like ADD but this is not a case of the blues the OP has every tell tail sign of depression. I don't mean this to come off rude but if you have never suffered from it, then there is no way for you to comprehend the hell of depression, what seems so trivial to the normal person can seem insurmountable to the depressed a task as simple as paying the bills can seem insurmountable you literally cant figure out where to start or how to get yourself to start.
OP, if you do not already take it start a course of vitamin D, you will be surprised at how fast it clears your head and gives you motivation to move ahead again. Personally I believe you need to seek help, if you have tried SSRI's and they have not worked (I personally think they are ineffective and cause more harm than good) you may want to see if your doctor will try a course of Gabapentin it has had very good results in stemming both situational and long term depression. If you do go on meds look at as being akin to antibiotics a medicine to get you thru a sickness develop a plan with you doctor to phase out of medicine but use it to break the cycle once depression has a hold on you as you know it can be very hard to break. Getting momentum is the most crucial part and medicine can help you gain that momentum.
My contact info is in my profile if you want to talk one on one. I have been where you are, it has been a long time ago but I still know how it felt. You are not alone and there are people that will help.
Please do me a favor tomorrow first thing in the morning please go and get a bottle of vitamin D at least 2000 IU preferably 4000 and take it in the morning. Do not take it at night because it can interfere with melatonin production. Give it about 3 days and see if you start to feel better.
Re: Ask HN: Career trajectory? I'm terrible
#20I am pretty sure there is something you like to do. Get good at a tiny small particular thing first before you extend your interest to other things. If it helps, I used to be a test engineer who was tasked to run test cases manually. You know what I did? In me spare time I wrote an extremely dumb and simple executor that did my job. Management realized the potential, they let me write a better tool now with their app…
Your story is heartening. I wish it would work for me. Nothing really makes me happy or interested. I could lay in bed all day if I didn't force myself to get out. I think it's great that you didn't have any formal education, and you have gone farther than me, someone with formal education and 'seven years' of experience. > guess what I am trying to say is: - dont give up - expect success over time (1-2 years as a ba…
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