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There is nothing worse than having a SO who is the type of person who barely works and then wants to party and do things nonstop, while all you want to do is work on that project you have yet to finish.
I doubt your girlfriend is asking for work/life balance, exactly. She's probably just saying she wants to feel as important as work seems. That's a thing you can work on.
1. Schedule most times spent with spouse. For everything. I really mean everything. Dinner date? Schedule it in advance. Going house-hunting? Schedule the visits. Movies? Schedule the evening way in advance. Visiting folks? Agree on a set date.
2. Stick to the schedules like a mofo. Integrity integrity integrity. Promises broken because schedules could not be kept are more likely the reason for an unhappy spouse (or kids!) rather than the amount of time spent with them. No one likes getting their hopes up only to be let down last minute.
3. Never accept an impromptu activity with spouse without agreeing to set off existing agreed upon schedules. This reinforces your commitment to the discipline of schedules. They know you are serious about your time and doing so shows that you acknowledge and respect theirs.
4. Try to keep one day of the week as a wild card where you don't work and simply say yes to anything they (spouse/kids) ask. Schedule this day secretly without telling them. This is the day you can "disrupt" them by saying "Let's go for ice cream" while they are busy. See what happens.
5. When complaints are raised against you for not spending enough time with them, open your schedules - demonstrate the obvious.
6. Never work on a Sunday. This should be your wild card day.
SCHEDULE. 1. Schedule most times spent with spouse. For everything . I really mean everything. Dinner date? Schedule it in advance. Going house-hunting? Schedule the visits. Movies? Schedule the evening way in advance. Visiting folks? Agree on a set date. 2. Stick to the schedules like a mofo. Integrity integrity integrity. Promises broken because schedules could not be kept are more likely the reason for an unhappy…
If you are having to strictly schedule time for your personal life to anything like the degree that the parent post suggests, particularly time with your closest family and friends, there are exactly two possibilities: either you have dysfunctional personal relationships that need attention, or you are working for way too much of your time. Assuming that in fact your family and friends are not all neurotic control freaks, only one conclusion remains.
I get that some people are driven. I get that it's a competitive world, and there's always pressure to get results and keep up with the pack. But working most of your waking hours is simply not a viable strategy to get and sustain good results in the long term, no matter who you are or what you do. Humans need downtime, and humans need relationships, and humans who have enough investment in both are almost invariably more effective at anything they do than workaholics anyway.
By all means schedule if it helps you to keep organised, but schedule the work time you need to reserve. The default should be that your time is yours, not your job's.
SCHEDULE. 1. Schedule most times spent with spouse. For everything . I really mean everything. Dinner date? Schedule it in advance. Going house-hunting? Schedule the visits. Movies? Schedule the evening way in advance. Visiting folks? Agree on a set date. 2. Stick to the schedules like a mofo. Integrity integrity integrity. Promises broken because schedules could not be kept are more likely the reason for an unhappy…
There is no faster way to suck the emotion out of a relationship than to put a schedule at the center of it, and hiding behind the excuse of the schedule is just deferring responsibility.
I suggest you spend a few minutes and do a deep session of introspection and meditate on what your true priorities are.
It's not nearly as easy as it sounds...
Here are some questions to get you rolling: Why are you working so much? For you? For someone else? For the money? If so, why? What will you do with that money? Is it for you? A family? Do you find yourself enjoying your girlfriend more than your work? What do you get out of your relationship? Why are you with this person? Why are you working on your specific project?
The idea is to discover what you truly value and align your priorities with that– Good luck!
I can't stress this enough: listen to her. Listen to what she's saying, not just what you expect her to say or what you think she's saying. Actually clear your mind and listen. Then the two of you can start to figure out what to do about it.
Only you know the answer to this, so what do you think? Ask yourself, 1) if you worked less and made her happy or 2) your continued working at this pace and let her leave, what would you regret more in 5 years? Maybe you won't know how you really feel about her until you leave her. That's what happened with my wife and I.
I understand the draw of work. To this day I still work too much because I absolutely love what I do and the feeling it gives me. But I've been married 6 years and I love my wife more. If my work got in the way of our relationship, I would change things. But this is only because I know she's worth it.
So look over the advice here, but you're the only one that can really answer that question. The answer isn't at the end of some math equation, it's in your gut. Honestly, IMHO if you have to ask us just let her go and get back to work.