Ask HN: I think my startup is going to fail, what should I do?

Straighten out the situation with the rights, first. Establish who owns what, so that if your buddies decide it's not right for whatever reason, you still own the right to do things with it. If it's a joint contribution (eg you did the coding, but you all3 came up with the idea and your buddies each suggested things like site names and design elements), then work something out now.

Even if they are cool and 'nah, it's all your buddy' get it in writing. Don't ask them to put it in writing, say 'cool, I'll just write that up then'. (The only part you want them to actually write themselves is their signature agreeing to the terms specified by...you. This is something I wish I had realized earlier in life!).

Then launch. Or conduct a limited alpha with HN readers or whatever you need to do. Also, I do get the feeling you're letting these people (and others) hold you back a little bit. I feel where you're coming from, and I trust you have reasons for your disappointment, but you come across as a bit passive. If you're like me, you may have difficulty sounding out people's feelings, so you can't tell when someone is seriously interested or when they're just being polite to blow you off or get something for nothing. The only solution I've found for this is to be polite but assertive about asking follow-up questions. If someone vacillates and says 'well of course I do like it...maybe I could help you later' just let them know you'll keep exploring other options, eg 'Sure, I get that - I guess you won't mind if I take it across the street then, I need to move forward with this'. It's a terrible drag but that's how a lot of people are, if you hand them something on a plate they don't appreciate it and if you take it away they'll complain you didn't let them have a bite.

Thanks!

They definitely did put in a lot of work, which is why I'm surprised they're giving up now. Eg., they made a whole bunch of fabulously slick presentations for investors that must have taken dozens of hours each (none of them invested, but hey, that's startup life).

Maybe it's the repeated failures to get investors that did it. They might need to be reminded that the lack of investors is not necessarily a bad sign - audiences, unlike VCs, have nothing to lose by giving you guys a chance.

This is false. You could certainly handle the workload. You may handle it poorly, but you can handle it. It will not kill you. It will not maim you. Perhaps you gain 10 lbs from overeating due to stress and your WoW rating goes down (or whatever you fill your time with). But the statement above is patently false.

I say this as someone who lies to himself like this sometimes, too. Any time you hear yourself saying the words "can't" and "need" you have to stop and realize that you're probably lying to yourself. You don't _need_ that feature. You _can_ survive being stressed out for 3 months.

I've seen this as well but in a much later stage of running a company, a nearly done deal went south at the last possible moment and everybody got demoralized to the point where they wanted to quit. I ended up selling my house to buy everybody out, and it's been a pretty good company ever since.

Not everyone is made to be an entrepreneur you have to take your beatings and keep going, that is the only road to any kind of success unless you are a very lucky person.

I'd make a reasonable valuation of what you think the whole project is worth at this time, try to figure out fairly what their contribution is worth and then offer to buy them out if you can afford it, or, if you can't to take them on as silent partners and give them non-voting stock. The latter is a (nearly) surefire way to never get any investors on board though, you have to be aware of that.

Then, after that you go and work like the devil to make it happen.

If you can't afford it and/or you don't want to have them on board as deadwood I'd just walk away, and do something new.

About your 'black cloud' following you, this can happen simply as a series of coincidences, or it might have to do with the company you keep & pick.

That's very hard to comment on without knowing a whole lot more about the situations you were in, one thing is for sure though, if you want stuff to happen and to succeed then you'll simply have to shift over to the drivers seat, if you think you 'need others to succeed' you are not yet in the right mindset, you are seeing yourself as a victim or at the mercy of others. That needs to change for sure.