With this kind of guy your best bet is to get on their good side. Psychos will not stop at anything.
Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
11–20 of 30 posts
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#12The only way to deal with people like that is to move out. Why are you structuring your happiness in life around his actions?
I'm afraid I just signed a 6 month lease and I'm in no financial situation to move anywhere else. I wish one of the others had told me about all this before I moved in.
You sound younger than me, so I'm going to clue you in on a secret to life.
> no financial situation to move anywhere else
That doesn't exist. You make decisions first and then figure out how to execute/pay for them later. We're not talking about buying an island here, we're talking about having a really base level of happiness with your entire living situation.
Move out and get your own place. Figure it out, you're smart.
If you're not up to the challenge, then just tell him you'll kill him in his sleep if he does that shit again.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#13You mention nothing about the other 4 roommates. You're probably better off trying to solve this problem with them than trying to alone. It'll probably be 5 against 1. 5 against him or 5 against you. Doesn't matter. Either way, you'll know what to do.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#14I would tell him I was fine with it, but that he is responsible for paying the extra heating bill as well as replacing anything which may be damaged or stolen by leaving the door open.
If he agrees to it, then great - turn up the heat.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#15Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm afraid I just signed a 6 month lease and I'm in no financial situation to move anywhere else. I wish one of the others had told me about all this before I moved in.
You sound younger than me, so I'm going to clue you in on a secret to life. > no financial situation to move anywhere else That doesn't exist. You make decisions first and then figure out how to execute/pay for them later. We're not talking about buying an island here, we're talking about having a really base level of happiness with your entire living situation. Move out and get your own place. Figure it out, you're…
I totally understand what you mean about making a decision and then just working it all out, it's one of the cornerstones of how I live my life, but moving out and into this house was one of those decisions and its going to take a little while to finish dealing with all the financial problems that it caused for me. Do you think writing "I'll Kill You" in blood on the front door would be enough? Heh.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#16The only way to deal with people like that is to move out. Why are you structuring your happiness in life around his actions?
Clearly you can't always run away, can you? You have to be able to face problems and deal with them. If you run away all the time, the choices available for you in life will become pretty limited.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#17My response:
Okay bob, I understand you have a problem with them. But here is what's going to happen here: You're going to stop doing this tonight. And we're going to talk it over tomorrow with the people you think you have a conflict over.
Now there will be further steps I will take if I find you are doing this tonight, and they will not be Passive In The Slightest. So fucking cut it out tonight, show up tomorrow to the talk we have with the guy who's causing the problem, and don't fuck with my sleep. Or Else.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#18I would tell him I was fine with it, but that he is responsible for paying the extra heating bill as well as replacing anything which may be damaged or stolen by leaving the door open. If he agrees to it, then great - turn up the heat.
Shitty heating only works comfortably at maximum with the door closed, dropped ten degrees when he started with this crap. You can always tell someone that they're responsible, but when it happens how are you meant to enforce that kind of stuff with anything other than intimidation? (not where my skills lay)
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#19My mother's old trick for situations like these is to be on their side without saying anything bad about anyone else in the house. Instead of "Whatever, I'm freezing my ass off", try something like "I can't believe they'd do that to you! That's awful, man. It's effing cold when this door is left open. ::closes door:: I'll get them to close it tomorrow."
The premise is that it's hard for the righteous to disagree with someone who they think is on their side.
Re: Ask HN: Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
#20[deleted]