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Ask HN: What is the best advice you have ever given to someone?

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Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you have ever given to someone?

#11
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The contracts were still being negotiated. He didn't sign until several days later. I don't know if he considers it my fault, but he should. He is not the only person who has failed to consider my advice and lost, just the one to lose the most money. This a very often repeated theme in my life. I somehow manipulate people into not taking me seriously. I don't understand it and I don't want to believe it but its easie…

If someone fails to listen to reasonable advice, it isn't your fault. If he blamed you, he would be an idiot. He should be pissed at himself, as well as the con-artists that took his money. If anything, you should have way more credibility with him, because you were right. I hope I'm not being too blunt, but you sound as if you have a strange case of imposter syndrome. You should give yourself more credit.

I think that he's a really smart guy who actually would have figured out the problem if I had not interfered.

The word credibility was a bad choice on my part. It's hard to write a better description of myself because its embarrassing. I can be really frustrating and people frequently develop a strong feeling of disgust toward me. I'm right often, but that alone isn't the problem. Every once in a while I point out the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. Sometimes I meet people and I'm right in the middle of tearing their work to pieces and that is forever their first impression of me. It's too embarrassing to go on.

And so this can lead to a kind of occasional willful blindness on the part of people who just can't take it if I'm right yet again. I hope no one sees this since I'm going into way more detail than I had intended. I think he may have said to himself, "if he's right, he'll be able to claim to all his friends that I owe him my fortune. I can't bear that. I think I'll stick to my lawyer on this one."

I just wanted to post a story that would show how I had lost my boss a lot of money. I tell people my faults as a personal observance. I see now that the readers here are very astute and I should have either told the whole story or held my post.

Just as an aside, I think my boss was quite disgusted with the whole situation. If i recall correctly he left shortly after the second payment. He definitely didn't hold me in any greater esteem at any point. Honestly I hope he forgot that I was involved.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you have ever given to someone?

#12
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The contracts were still being negotiated. He didn't sign until several days later. I don't know if he considers it my fault, but he should. He is not the only person who has failed to consider my advice and lost, just the one to lose the most money. This a very often repeated theme in my life. I somehow manipulate people into not taking me seriously. I don't understand it and I don't want to believe it but its easie…

If someone fails to listen to reasonable advice, it isn't your fault. If he blamed you, he would be an idiot. He should be pissed at himself, as well as the con-artists that took his money. If anything, you should have way more credibility with him, because you were right. I hope I'm not being too blunt, but you sound as if you have a strange case of imposter syndrome. You should give yourself more credit.

Oh my gosh, I just read the definition of imposter syndrome. I have to tell you. I have eight children in a small three bedroom house that is falling to pieces. We live paycheck to paycheck. I don't own a suit, or dress shoes.

I would say you need to have success to think you don't deserve it, so I'm pretty sure I don't have imposter syndrome. It was awesome that you suggested it though, I'm going to make a joke about it to my wife. You have my best regards.

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