Ask HN: A real life dating app • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: A real life dating app

#11

Post by cjs_ac » Tue, Aug 12, 2025, 10:20 AM UTC

momoelz wrote: post #7

cjs_ac wrote: post #5

If I recall, there was a dating app that showed you profiles of people you'd crossed paths with that day - so, basically a conventional dating app with a novel algorithm for choosing which profiles to show you. If I'm understanding you correctly, what you're suggesting has minimal profiles; it just notifies you that a given person is nearby and that you might want to talk to them. I can see two problems with this. Th…

how about adding a matching on/off switch? for example you go to an event and turn it on and thus make urself "matchable" so it would simply make rejection disapear the difference between this and the pear ring is the simplicity of an app that you can download and start using instead of purchasing an extra item that you have to wear

The problem with an on/off switch is that you have to open the app to change the setting, which means that most people will have it off most of the time. I don't necessarily think the Pear Ring is a better idea than yours; I only raised it to show that other people have tried these low-tech ways to improve dating and have also failed.

If you think about how meeting new people currently works, there's a bit of sizing people up to decide what sort of chances you have or whether they're a creep before you decide whether to go and talk to them - I think that's the crucial aspect your idea is missing.

Re: Ask HN: A real life dating app

#12

Post by momoelz » Tue, Aug 12, 2025, 11:10 AM UTC

cjs_ac wrote: post #11

momoelz wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

how about adding a matching on/off switch? for example you go to an event and turn it on and thus make urself "matchable" so it would simply make rejection disapear the difference between this and the pear ring is the simplicity of an app that you can download and start using instead of purchasing an extra item that you have to wear

The problem with an on/off switch is that you have to open the app to change the setting, which means that most people will have it off most of the time. I don't necessarily think the Pear Ring is a better idea than yours; I only raised it to show that other people have tried these low-tech ways to improve dating and have also failed. If you think about how meeting new people currently works, there's a bit of sizing…

i thought this is mitigated by setting preferences? I feel like a lot of people get creeped out by mismatches rather real creepy people. So I thought having set some preferences like what the other should like/interests background and so on should prevent meeting creeps

Re: Ask HN: A real life dating app

#13

Post by JohnFen » Tue, Aug 12, 2025, 2:39 PM UTC

momoelz wrote: post #12

cjs_ac wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem with an on/off switch is that you have to open the app to change the setting, which means that most people will have it off most of the time. I don't necessarily think the Pear Ring is a better idea than yours; I only raised it to show that other people have tried these low-tech ways to improve dating and have also failed. If you think about how meeting new people currently works, there's a bit of sizing…

i thought this is mitigated by setting preferences? I feel like a lot of people get creeped out by mismatches rather real creepy people. So I thought having set some preferences like what the other should like/interests background and so on should prevent meeting creeps

Shared likes and interests are very poor indicators of whether or not the other person is a creep. They're not even very good indicators of whether or not the other person is a good match, to be honest, but at least there's a bit of correlation there.

Re: Ask HN: A real life dating app

#14

Post by JohnFen » Tue, Aug 12, 2025, 2:43 PM UTC

momoelz wrote: post #4

Croak wrote: post #3

That's just real life. No app needed.

it just eliminates the rejection part don't you think so?

Isn't that worse than the rejection part in the long term? As uncomfortable as being rejected is, there's value in it.

First, we're all going to be rejected from various things over the course of our lives. It's inevitable. Learning how to deal with it when it happens is a critically important life skill.

Second, isn't it better to know that you've been rejected than to be silently ignored? Being ignored without knowing why is a path to alienation.

Also, this approach doesn't eliminate rejection. At some point, presumably, you're going to meet the person for real. At that point, rejection remains a real possibility.

Re: Ask HN: A real life dating app

#15

Post by TrnsltLife » Wed, Aug 13, 2025, 1:00 AM UTC

momoelz wrote: post #8

arilgomez wrote: post #6

It would be nice for travelling...But as a woman, I wouldn't feel safe.

is there something that can be done to make it safer for woman?

It notifies the man when the woman's father is nearby and you can go talk to him and ask if you can date his daughter.