Ask HN: How can I learn to better command people's attention when speaking?

Speak less.

For practice: for a year, don't say a word.

wait, what ?

It's possible that you have unrealistic expectations regarding the depth and length of attention anyone, yourself included, can get from a group. We tend to observe and critique ourselves disproportionally and not pay attention to the experience of others - what opportunities they have to participate, how much attention they really get, etc...

Try to observe how groups interact - unless someone is exceptionally important (leader, famous or very charismatic person) people just chatter in short chunks, exchanging low stakes, often meaningless, remarks, as well as lots of laughs, little jokes, noises like ehrm, oooh, uhm, without anyone getting much of an opportunity to convey anything significant. That's just how group interaction works on average.

If you lower your expectations and focus on just maintaining a fun and positive interaction with the group, you'll be less frustrated, more confident, and maybe you'll also find it easier to get a message across in the rare case where it's really worth it.

If consistently having meaningful information-dense interactions is very important to you, you may want to focus on finding groups that prioritize this sort of interaction. They are really quite rare, but look for meetups of like-minded people who want to have a deep discussion of a specific topic, for example.

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Become the weird guy that never says a word.