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Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

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Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#11

Post by piyuv »

recursivedoubts wrote: post #10

Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.

When the carrot (which is attached to the stick) disappears, attach a new one, move on

Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#13

Post by twiclo »

Starting a family has been the antidote to this feeling in my experience. It's not hard at all to motivate myself to write the 6th database migration python script when my son crawls over and gives me a big smile.

It has also motivated me to take advantage of any free time I have. This baby is soon going to be forming a world view and I need to be there to show him the way. If that's true I need to learn a lot, and fast.

Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#14

Post by paulcole »

> I have a comfortable life, nor luxury, neither poverty

So you have a relationship, athletic hobbies, steady job, and side business?

That is luxury. It's just that you've convinced yourself it's prison for some reason.

> now I'm back to the same place I tried to escape back then, albeit in a different physical location and work place.

As they say, wherever you go, there you are.

Even if you found "luxury" then you'd convince yourself it wasn't enough.

Figure out how to solve that problem. Because quitting your job or whatever isn't going to work.

> I get scared when I realize that this is my life for the next 30-40 years.

If you get 30-40 more years of life, think about how lucky you'll be compared to the people who die of cancer in their 40s or 50s?

Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#17

Post by silverquiet »

recursivedoubts wrote: post #10

Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.

What if women aren't interested in you?

Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#18

Post by resource_waste »

recursivedoubts wrote: post #10

Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.

I would say that is one of the 3 conclusions I've drawn from philosophy as a solution to 'What is the Good?':

>Darwinism (as you imply, it makes you well rounded, almost like an Aristotelian Happy person, without the virtue ethics.)

>Utilitarianism(some combination of advancing humanity to reduce pain and increase pleasure)

>Hedonism(Nothing matters, enjoy the sensory experience)

Re: Ask HN: Every day feels like prison

#19

Post by LargeWu »

recursivedoubts wrote: post #10

Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.

If you are feeling trapped, adding children to the mix are not what you need. I love my wife and family, but it is definitely limiting. Even changing jobs within my field is challenging because I've built a lifestyle around my family's needs that my current job accommodates, never mind changing careers. Having kids is the biggest commitment you could ever have.
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