Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 146 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#11

Post by ElevenLathe »

Whatever you decide, its important that the spouse is really, actually OK with it and understands it. Its nice to have one partner take care of "money stuff" but it's also nice to know you are able to do things independently of them if you need to. This is why most of our finances are shared, but we each have a separate account that we keep relatively well-funded that the other has no access to. I don't think either of us uses these except to check the balance, but if either of us suddenly needed to, say, buy airline tickets to get out of town in a hurry, we wouldn't need the permission of the other. We obviously also have our own 401ks.

I think this peace of mind keeps decisions about joint assets less contentious.

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#14

Post by soco »

sokoloff wrote: post #8

We have two joint checking accounts and three* joint credit card accounts, one of which is logically "mine" and one which is logically "hers" and we freely flow money between them on the rare occasions when it's needed, but day-to-day we have clear single-user management (to avoid overdrafts, spot anomalies, etc.). We have "calibrated" the direct deposit amounts to minimize the need to move money across the accounts.…

Same here. I have some friends with clearly separated accounting, and they have constant discussions of the kind I definitely don't need. Mind you they are not fighting, just arguing what should go where. I know I would have worse discussions in case of a divorce, but I'll keep them for that case.

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#15

Post by time0ut »

Congratulations!

Finances are a common source of strife in marriages. Getting and staying on the same page is critical. Communicate about finances openly and often. Budget together. Review the budget together regularly. It sounds like you are already starting this. That is a good sign. Never stop.

As far as your specific question: I'd recommend joint for day to day and emergency fund. While its simpler, the main reason is mental: its not my money and your money, its our money. We do keep investments separate, but its still "ours".

That is just a recommendation though. Its more important that you both talk about and agree on your approach.

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#17

Post by lotsoweiners »

When I got married we ended up merging her acct (same brick and mortar bank) into mine and adding her on the acct along with opening a savings account . Nowadays we also have accounts with online banks that have high yield savings and part of our checks go into both banks. The online bank savings accounts has different “silos” that can be setup for various purposes soI transfer money into each of these monthly. My wife and I don’t do individual wants/splurges silos but this is a great place to save individually while still getting high interest.

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#18

Post by Finnucane »

We have a hybrid approach--we each have our own bank accounts and credit cards, but also a joint savings account and a joint checking account that covers regular household expenses. My wife is pretty good at doing the budgeting thing and makes monthly-averaged estimates of the regular bills. We have a joint credit card for shopping for stuff like groceries and other household supplies. We've been doing it this way for 20+ years and everything gets paid for and we rarely argue about money.

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#19

Post by neogodless »

You don't want to know what we do.

You want to know what is going to work for you.

What conversations have you had with your future spouse about finances? What do you value (e.g. what is worth parting with you money for)? How do make decisions about day to day spending, big expenses, savings rate, long-term planning, investing, retirement?

Are you on the same page on all of those things? Do you disagree on how much to save and invest?

Is "simplicity" the only thing you really prioritize?

Re: Ask HN: How do you structure your shared finances with your spouse/partner

#20

Post by sokoloff »

soco wrote: post #14
sokoloff wrote: post #8

We have two joint checking accounts and three* joint credit card accounts, one of which is logically "mine" and one which is logically "hers" and we freely flow money between them on the rare occasions when it's needed, but day-to-day we have clear single-user management (to avoid overdrafts, spot anomalies, etc.). We have "calibrated" the direct deposit amounts to minimize the need to move money across the accounts.…

Same here. I have some friends with clearly separated accounting, and they have constant discussions of the kind I definitely don't need. Mind you they are not fighting, just arguing what should go where. I know I would have worse discussions in case of a divorce, but I'll keep them for that case.

It helps that we're pretty compatible in terms of spending habits. I'm more of a cheapskate, but we're both well aware of the math of savings/retirement and neither of us spends stupidly in the other person's opinion.

If a heavy saver marries a heavy spender, I'm not sure that there exists an arrangement of accounts that will solve the problem, but separation of accounting may reduce likelihood or delay the inevitability...

Post reply on HN