Ask HN: Am I being too picky?

I am not sure "caring" should be part of your attitude. we do the job we're paid to do at the best of our ability. That's it.

If you can't be "arsed" to give your best that's a different issue and it sometimes is a simple case of burnout. This happens when you give a job too much over a long period of time.

As for your current role, I see issue immediately. Estimates are nothing more than estimates but in your case they seem to be deadlines. It should be a simple case of having a human discussion ... it takes longer because of an issue I have, not seen in the estimation stage. You can't basically foresee everything and that's normal and expected. Software development is not a factory setting but a highly complex, creative and mentally draining activity.

If you are in a software factory then you need to get out, those people don't value you.

Would padding your estimates provide some temporary relief while you find something new? You don’t have to do a +1 and 1 (ie - if you think it will take one week say it will take two months). But if you think it will take one week, what if you say it will take two weeks?

But there is absolutely no reason that any company needs engineers to be high performing all the time. Healthy companies are marathons not sprints. Read into that as you will.