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Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#11

Post by jryan49 »

zer0sand0nes wrote: post #3
skilled wrote: post #2

Get off the meds and do it cold turkey. Taking that garbage is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself because it literally numbs you to the point where you can’t properly process sensory experiences. I once hit a really bad low point in my life and started taking SSRIs, it only took me 3 months (about the time they start to work) to “nope the fuck out” of that experience. It’s horrible and will mess with your…

I am considering it because I'm not noticing a lot of benefit. Wellbutrin helped me with quitting weed and the withdrawals, and also my depression a bit, in allowing me to do things more. Lexapro ... I'm not seeing any benefit at all. ADHD meds just seem to make me super anxious. I also struggle with irritability / short-fuse type problems which manifests itself in a lot of different ways. ====== I'm seriously consid…

I had to try two antidepressants before one worked right, and it works amazingly. My anxiety is just gone. I went off it for a few years cause I was doing so well, and ending up having a breakdown, went back on it, all good again...

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#12

Post by uptownfunk »

There are these things called Golden Teachers that can give you a great reset on life. You have a lot of trauma and you need to heal yourself through it. assuming you don’t have a family history of schizophrenia you may want to consider finding the golden teachers

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#14

Post by BrannonKing »

Here's my thoughts:

1. Don't leave a family that loves you just because you feel like you're failing them. None of us are perfect parents or spouses. Do spend a little time with each of them every day doing whatever they want. Maintaining relationships is just about giving time, it's not about anything else.

2. Take a little Aderall (or whatever weak ADHD med does something for you) in the morning and drop all the other substances. Weed seems helpful at the start, but all the people I know who have done weed long-term are ruined in the end. It takes a few months to get over things like weed, and those aren't fun months. Drink some grapefruit juice, chew on a toothbrush, get some baoding balls.

3. I like the other comment about your nutrition. Focus on gut-healthy foods for a while, and get some fresh-ground grains. Some families have food-habits that affect their mental state, yet they don't realize this because they grew up with it, etc.

4. Consider just doing a part-time job. (Maybe your wife can do a part-time or full-time job too?) Your family can understand that you need a lot of change, and that you can't focus 8+ hours per day. Help your neighbors and church family and community during your off hours.

5. You can express your fears and anxieties to those around you. They'll learn to accept that. Don't be a false you.

6. For non-programming jobs: you can be a software tester. It's boring for most people, but it's not as intense as programming, and it's generally available in part-time. Scripting skills can also apply to that. I'm guessing that your anxiety makes sales work difficult? Doing customer presentations is difficult? Do you have an interest in something more physical? Maybe auto mechanic work? Maybe electrical wiring in houses?

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#15

Post by apprishiate »

Are you me? Hah. I identify with your situation quite a lot. From exhibiting ADHD type symptoms, to self-medicating, to entering tech, to being unable to hold a job.

Quitting weed didn't help me. I stopped for 2 months. I'm not off weed, but I don't rely on it nearly as much. When I smoked, I thought I could be my authentic self and care less about what others think of me. Weed helped with this 30% of the time. The other 70% of the time weed made me closed off, paranoid, and sometimes just weird. But I latched on to the good times to tell myself that it was helpful.

My only suggestion: find a good therapist and start this journey now (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/). I thought I had ADHD. I thought I had an addiction to weed. I thought I was in the right career. After a very public firing, and going into my 30s, I knew something had to change. Your situation may be completely different - I have no idea, this is just my exp.

Now, I'm on a different path. I'm working towards a career pivot. I'm doing things that are completely different from my prev career. I enjoy it. I don't know where I'm going exactly, which is terrifying, but....... it's fine.

Consider this next chapter as a series of small experiments to tease out who you really are.

And for God's sakes, don't throw away your relationship with your Wife. Like you, I have no idea why my partner stuck with me. They has been my strongest support.

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#16

Post by SkyPuncher »

skilled wrote: post #2

Get off the meds and do it cold turkey. Taking that garbage is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself because it literally numbs you to the point where you can’t properly process sensory experiences. I once hit a really bad low point in my life and started taking SSRIs, it only took me 3 months (about the time they start to work) to “nope the fuck out” of that experience. It’s horrible and will mess with your…

No!

Whatever you do, do not go cold turkey on you anti-depressants. The withdrawal can kill you.

Also, everyone reacts differently to each SSRI and it takes time for them to settle in. You may have had one that didn’t jive with you, but that doesn’t mean a different one wouldn’t jive.

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#17

Post by more_corn »

zer0sand0nes wrote: post #3
skilled wrote: post #2

Get off the meds and do it cold turkey. Taking that garbage is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself because it literally numbs you to the point where you can’t properly process sensory experiences. I once hit a really bad low point in my life and started taking SSRIs, it only took me 3 months (about the time they start to work) to “nope the fuck out” of that experience. It’s horrible and will mess with your…

I am considering it because I'm not noticing a lot of benefit. Wellbutrin helped me with quitting weed and the withdrawals, and also my depression a bit, in allowing me to do things more. Lexapro ... I'm not seeing any benefit at all. ADHD meds just seem to make me super anxious. I also struggle with irritability / short-fuse type problems which manifests itself in a lot of different ways. ====== I'm seriously consid…

Do not go cold turkey from SSRIS (lexapro is one) The whiplash effect could kill you. Seriously. If you decide to quit tell your doctor and they will safely ween you.

Re: Ask HN: My brain is telling me to quit everything. What should I do?

#18

Post by more_corn »

I don’t have any solutions but I offer my empathy. It sounds like you’re going through a really hard time and have gone through a lot. I feel for you. I really hope you find a safe path through it. Please lean on your family and friends, they will be happy to help and they really can help. Good luck, I have faith that you can find a positive way forward.
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