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Ask HN: How to Be Politely Curious?

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Re: Ask HN: How to Be Politely Curious?

#11

I had to learn to do that, though not only in business contexts. I don't know well your context or meaning, but a few thoughts: First, be polite and read the situation. If you find yourself prioritizing your curiosity over their apparent disinterest, if you find yourself pushing them, that's inconsiderate and you'll be annoying people. > (Or, could probably be better answered by a Google search.) If you are seeking i…

That certainly helps and gives a vivid image. The only tricky thing to figure out is how to "unplug."

Re: Ask HN: How to Be Politely Curious?

#12
post #11

I had to learn to do that, though not only in business contexts. I don't know well your context or meaning, but a few thoughts: First, be polite and read the situation. If you find yourself prioritizing your curiosity over their apparent disinterest, if you find yourself pushing them, that's inconsiderate and you'll be annoying people. > (Or, could probably be better answered by a Google search.) If you are seeking i…

That certainly helps and gives a vivid image. The only tricky thing to figure out is how to "unplug."

It just takes practice. It's incredibly powerful once you master it. I couldn't do it well at first - I kept reverting to critical analysis based on my ideas, reconciling them with my idea.

The person who taught me much of this told me one day, in frustration: 'There's another presence in the room. It's completely independent of you. It is not a reaction to you, a variation on you, a challenge to you, or a commentary on you. It didn't develop through life with any consideration of what you might be thinking.'

Give them the stage, walk off of it, shut up, sit down, and pay close attention. It doesn't matter what you think. We all think, at some point, 'but that thing is wro-' No really, shut up! :)

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