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Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

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11–20 of 54 posts

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#11
For years I did month-to-month Airbnbs to chase these feelings around being able to pick up and move wherever, whenever. If you can do WFH and have financial security, I would say sell some stuff, put the rest in storage, and make a plan to come back to your starting point in 6-12 months. You might just need to process things. A lot of people who move to Alaska or Hawaii to "get away" end up learning about themselves, and that's good.

If you don't have that flexibility, yes it's tricky to move to a new city. Get hired first if possible. Set realistic expectations for yourself (e.g. I will go to some Meetups and grow basil, NOT I will become the best _ in NYC and meet my BFF in the building). That's something a therapist or life coach type can help with, too.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#13
I’ve started over a couple times. Move with only a backpack. Live in an empty apartment in a new city. New job. New people. It doesn’t feel fresh it feels weird. Like I don’t even have a spatula to flip an egg. New places are nice, but there are good places and bad places. One in ten are places I’d actually want to live and even the greatest places have a dark shadow. Paris has grimey parts even at the fringes of the awesome parts.

If you get the recurring feeling that something needs changing that feeling will almost certainly follow you into any circumstance you put yourself in. It might be worth digging into the source of it.

Now, granted I do know people who follow a nomadic traveling life, but they do it with a childish sense of wonder, not out of a desire to throw everything away. And even those people wonder what it would have been like on the other path. Because traveling cuts off other branches of opportunity. “What would it have been like to have a career?” my one wandering friend says.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#14
I quit my job around four months ago, voluntarily leaving behind a cushy $560k yearly comp. Nothing lined up, just decided I needed a break.

It's been a good decision so far. The stock market has been performing well lately, which has been good for my savings during this time of unemployment.

It has yet to be seen whether I "threw it all away". Everyone close to me seems to think it was a rash decision and a big step back in my career. They might be right. I think I'll be difficult to get a job with the same compensation I had before. When I rejoin the job market, I'll probably be a few steps back.

But as of now, I have yet to see any negative repercussions! Just a long relaxing vacation. Ask me again in another eight months when I decide it's time to start looking for a job again and I might have a different answer. We'll see.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#17
Yea, I did that.

The important thing is to understand that life is expensive. The main expenses are cars, houses and families. How many of each of those do you want?

You need to understand wealth correctly before sacrificing a career. I am not sure if I should have spent more time making tech money or more years making nothing.

You should stay in tech long enough to establish the situation you need. Most professions pay dramatically less and require dramatically more.

Not everyone needs to journey the same. I wouldn't go to therapy unless if it were free and the drugs were too.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#18
Yeah! I'm going to take this to brag, for a certain definition of bragging.

Six months after graduating from Northwestern University cum laude in EE and mathematics I quit my cushy 6-figure WFH job to move to Finland as a quasi-illegal immigrant. (I say "quasi-" because I had an EU passport waiting on me anyway, and also because "money-minded STEM undergrad from a top university moving to a much poorer country" is, ah, not what you usually think of.)

I was unemployed for over a year due to passport issues, living in a tiny vacation town of ~10,000 close to the Arctic Circle, and used the time to get unfucked psychologically from growing up in an abusive household. I got back into coding to pass the time, starting with 3 months of reading and doing every exercise in https://haskellbook.com/. I wiped my GitHub profile clean of 10 years of half assed experiments. Later I also quit drinking (hit 500 days sober yesterday), and got married.

My savings were annihilated, which to be clear was because of my own stupidity which I have now grown out of. You don't just exist in Finland for a year and manage to burn over $20,000 unless you have some kind of idiotic vice you're pouring that into. We reached the point where we had to go to the church for food handouts (God bless the Finnish people for being so accommodating of well meaning strangers). All future prospects of being a millionaire, or even having a six figure job again without starting my own business, were destroyed. I haven't spoken with my birth family in over a year.

It was the greatest thing that I ever did. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat. :)

Do I recommend it to others? I wish I could. I think I existed in a very rare confluence of intelligent × conscientious × extraverted × little to lose × much to gain when I made all of these moves. Now that I'm in a place where I'm actually quite happy with my life I would have to handle such plans with considerably more care. How would my wife finish her degree? Could my wife finish her degree? What if she really is pregnant, do I really want to move out of Finland without even seeing the best part of it (raising kids here)? Do I want to give up living in the cyberpunk backwoods of the world just to chase a bigger paycheck doing more or less the same things I already do?

I have never objected to putting down roots. I happened to be in radioactive soil.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#19
I'm leaving academia after 10 years of being a postdoc, moving back to my broken home country, and have split up with my loving girlfriend of 3 years.

I am a wreck, but I remember how unhappy and frustrated I felt in the relationship, and in the various postdocs that I did. I need a change, I need to not run away from my family problems, and I need to live somewhere where I feel heard and understood, even if it's a downgrade lifestyle wise.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here ever tried throwing everything away?

#20

I quit my job around four months ago, voluntarily leaving behind a cushy $560k yearly comp. Nothing lined up, just decided I needed a break. It's been a good decision so far. The stock market has been performing well lately, which has been good for my savings during this time of unemployment. It has yet to be seen whether I "threw it all away". Everyone close to me seems to think it was a rash decision and a big step…

Time is more valuable than money. I agree with the spirit of you post.
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