It’s only awkward in certain cultures. Travel more and you’ll see places where there isn’t such widespread social disturbances.
Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
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Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#12It's in part that some people are naturally introverts and thus withdraw into non-social activities like reading, anime, movies, music, gaming, programming etc. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because the other kids are out there interacting with others, and thus learning social cues and skills. For example, alcohol famously reduces social inhibitions.
It's not that the natural introverts cannot learn these skills if they apply their mind to it, in fact it's probably easier for them since they're generally smarter.
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#13There’s a reason humans and alcohol have a multi-thousand year history.
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#14It’s only awkward in certain cultures. Travel more and you’ll see places where there isn’t such widespread social disturbances.
Can you name a few such places?
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#15What do you mean by awkward?
Humans have always had to care a great deal about fitting in with their peers, so being self-critical about one's interactions may be baked into our species at this point...
"I'm not always awkward, but when I am it's natural"
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#16Read Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground. You'll realize that anti-social behavior is quite old.
It could be that some people evolve to be anti-social so that society can progress, because such people typically spend more time on intellectual endeavors like inventing programming languages. I say typically because the underground man spent all his brain power to fuel his existential crisis instead of working for the advancement of the human race.
But some highly productive aren't anti-social. Take Jeff Bezos for example, who is incredibly charismatic but still invented the best online shopping experience in the world. Compare him to Elon Musk, who I can't listen to for more than 30 seconds because of how awkward he is. Sometimes I think he's trolling us by pretending to be awkward.
I believe anti-social behavior can and should be treated.
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#17Because decorum requires too many rules and society has trained us to be empathetic to the other persons feelings and perspectives. People mostly untouched by the modern world find socializing very easy because they say the first thing that comes to mind.
Citation needed
I don't have citation, but I concur with the GP, I grew up in the east, and it is far easier to socialize and also form deep friendships because everything is said out in the open and not hidden behind layers of decorum. Here is an example and a demonstration. As an example people are allowed to comment on someone being too heavy or too thin with them present. Here is the demonstration: Now as soon as I gave an example I have made this a controversial topic for the western audience. There is no way to look past the controversy and talk about other things or form bonds based on speech. Only an infinite loop.
Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#18Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#19Earlier quoted context omitted.
Citation needed
I don't have citation, but I concur with the GP, I grew up in the east, and it is far easier to socialize and also form deep friendships because everything is said out in the open and not hidden behind layers of decorum. Here is an example and a demonstration. As an example people are allowed to comment on someone being too heavy or too thin with them present. Here is the demonstration: Now as soon as I gave an examp…
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Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?
#20I remember reading a book that stated human socialization evolved when the primary interactions were between family groups and small tribal communities. Everyone knew everyone. Socialization with outsiders was formalized and much more time-consuming and awkward.
In the modern era, we are constantly interacting with strangers or people we barely know. Some gregarious people are very good at this, but otherwise it can be a challenge to find common ground for socializing. I don't know if any of this is true, but it strikes me as intuitively true.