11–20 of 70 posts
You could try volunteer activities I suppose.
And let me also say that 33 is hardly even "getting middle aged".
You're boring to everyone else? Fine. Don't be boring to your kids. Be there for them. "Dad spent time with me" will matter to your kids far more than being able to tell some rando about your hobby will matter to said rando. (Don't be boring to your wife, either.) In fact, don't be boring to the neighbor kids. You want your house to be the place they hang out, rather than your kids hanging out at the neighbor's house…
With kids of 3 and 7 I have to think that you have plenty to occupy you. Your kids school or extra-curricular activities will probably get you new acquaintances soon. (We are in touch still with some people we met through our son's school or school activities, and he is older than you are.) You could try volunteer activities I suppose. And let me also say that 33 is hardly even "getting middle aged".
Yeah, I totally also had a false mid-life crisis at around that age. Take it from me, you're YOUNG! Make the most of it while you still are!
most people think of a job as a lifetime thing whereas it is a short paid bootstrapping session to learn how the adult world works.
after that you should be finding edges and exploiting them on your own.
Coaching your kids' sports teams is a pretty mainstream social activity for a father of young kids. By age 7, my dad was involving me at least a bit in home repair & home improvement projects. BTW - are you regularly reading to your kids? That also checks a lot of your boxes.
My daughter plays hockey. The boring parents sit in the workspace area, on their computers, doing work. The rest hang out in the bar area that looks out over the ice chatting, playing (non-gambling) card games, etc. Hardly anyone has anything "interesting" going on, or if they did they aren't talking about it. Who cares, it's fine.
The social pressure to "be interesting" is one of the factors that I think leads to a lot of our collective misery. I think the problem is one of scale - if you're not engaging with other people because they don't share your interests, you may be hanging out with the wrong people, but you may not have a choice. You may be required to hang out with them because they are co-workers, neighbors, etc. - members of communi…
This hit the nail on the head for me.
My suggestion is to try different things even if you have to force yourself with the hope that you'll find something you enjoy and can share. There will be many things that you can share with your kids or as a family that will get you there. It's just a matter of trying. I know time is limited but you can carve out some time as a goal especially if you can do it with your family. Start with a family home evening where do the activities with your family.
Do you mind disclosing your employer or at least how you obtained your job? Some of us are having "trouble finding employment"[1]
This is very normal. Your kids won't need nearly as much of your time in a few years and you'll have time for hobbies again. Enjoy how much time you're spending with them now and have faith that you'll be "interesting" again when you have fewer demands from family life.