You start over every day. We all do. Get to work on your dreams now! You have lots of time to do great things! I’m 60 and I code everyday, and I working on my next startup. I’ve tried four, and haven’t had an exit yet. But that’s not going to stop me or stop me from believing that I can achieve my dreams.
Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
11–20 of 45 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#12I'm a decade older than you, have a PhD, in corporate research doing AI and feel EXACTLY the same way.
Early on, I had multiple opportunities to make a life in the Bay area. I stupidly did not take those opportunities.
My coding skills are no longer competitive and I am competing (and getting out-gunned) at the highest level.
Some of the suggestions here to build something you care about feel to ring true. I am also mulling this. It is hard to make time for this later in life but I feel there is no other way. I am also mulling taking a big pay cut and relocate the family to the Bay area. It feels very risky but I feel I won't be able to live with myself.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#13I'm lost too although in 40s and stuck in dead end job that has basically meant I've stagnated for 15 years while all my peers have 2-3x me. I'm left behind and fear it's too late with the current economic climate.
Same here. What sort of work do you do? I feel like I need a support group.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#14If you are genuinely committed to landing a job in Silicon Valley, you may need to start somewhere else and truly exceed expectations. Would working for a tech company in the midwest be better or worse than your current situation? If it would be better then why not try that first?
From there I would suggest the following:
- If your craft isn't already your main hobby, turn it into your main hobby.
- Network as much as you can. Meetup.com is very useful for this purpose.
- Use your network to find a mentor. Someone knowledgeable who has achieved what you're aiming for and is willing to help you.
And so what if you fall short and end up in Cincinnati, able to afford a comfortable life? Would that really be so bad?
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#15What was the poor performance that caused you to be let go?
Good luck, friend. I don't think it is too late.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#16What do you mean by scrappy Silicon Valley tech dream?
I think you’re 5-10 years late unless you turn yourself into a GenAI/Machine Learning specialist very quickly. The Bay Area has attracted the worst type of people to compete with. It’s packed full of gold miners and even more shovel sellers. Try somewhere else.
Do you have any money? Are you technically savvy? Can you take a 12 months course from a reputable institution that may award you a ML qualification?
Turn your age and background into a strength. You’re mature, dependable, hungry, professional. You show up, you get it, you can relate with the middle age hiring manager. You need a chance and you won’t waste it like some 25 year old jib hopping. You’re willing to work for a little less but not much less.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#17Hi mate, Life is long and we can restart our journey at any time, so no worries. The best advice I could give is to start meeting people and (always!) learn new things. Action on you: go to meetup.com, find three interesting events in your area, go there with no expectations, just listen and meet new people. You are smart. You will work it out.
How do I realistically compete with those who are younger, more nimble, with impressive educational & professional backgrounds? The startup world seems to be far more of a status game nowadays than when I fell in love with it 15 years ago. What does someone with 0 social capital to open doors do, especially at this age?
>How do I realistically compete with those who are younger, more nimble, with impressive educational & professional backgrounds?
Most devs out there right now are hot garbage, even with 10+ years experience and a degree. I just went through a few rounds of interviewing applicants, so I know. If you are passionate about it, you need to be building stuff in your spare time and learning constantly. If you don't like it that much, the field probably isn't for you.
If you are really starting from scratch, hit up the recruiting/job sites in your area and learn the language that has the most jobs. You need to learn database too.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#18I'm lost too although in 40s and stuck in dead end job that has basically meant I've stagnated for 15 years while all my peers have 2-3x me. I'm left behind and fear it's too late with the current economic climate.
Similar boat, but more that the industry I’m in has low pay, so even with advancing career I don’t make much.
But I do have work life balance which has been valuable for my family, and a series of health crisis that I weathered over the last decade. Hopefully your dead end job has stability and gives you some other solace?
I would focus on a side gig, building a portfolio project in something that interests you and maybe eventually could be used as a business or to showcase your skills in applying for a job. Getting time for that can be a challenge with existing job and other life demands, but then you have to realize that just hopping onto the Bay Area tech scene would likely have required a similar grind so maybe it wasn’t all that for you?
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#19Some people reach this point when they are 18 and their parents abruptly kick them out. Others reach it when they are in their late 20's and "fail to launch", guilting themselves into burnout. And a third set are in your scenario and realize that they hate the trajectory they were pushed onto.
It is all the same problem: you need to develop a more coherent sense of yourself, and what you are shaping yourself to study. The work follows from the study, not the other way around; people arrive at a certain kind of work by trading off what they want to do, what the work allows them to do, the amount of stress they experience, and the self-dignity they sacrifice in the process of doing the work. You don't want to go into a field to satisfy a certain identity need, because that's something that can be used against you to gatekeep and say, "oh, you're not a real programmer, you're not a real artist, you're not a real entrepreneur" and to justify your exploitation. It has to come from somewhere else.
This is the kind of subject that, in the 20th century, was discussed by "What Color is Your Parachute?" But, while it's gotten a lot of new editions, I don't think the specifics of that book are so relevant now.
What I suggest instead is to sit down with some paper and make Venn diagrams: who you are, what you keep thinking about, what people seem to appreciate in your work, and what kinds of problems or situations you don't seem bothered by relative to others. Find the overlap. The center of the diagram is the outline: "this is me and this is how I genuinely want to present myself."
And then find the opportunities, and create another diagram around the overlap of you and the opportunities. There is always a "new thing" coming up, that needs people to do work in it. Sometimes you are positioned perfectly for it. Other times you can find a more peripheral space in it, like the advice given to accounting students that they can work in "any industry" because everyone needs accounting.
And then, from the overlap of that, begin the process of marketing yourself. Make your social media profile and your blogposts and send emails as an "interested student". You will get ghosted in some instances, and get some access to real conversations in others.
If you determine you need to pick up a skillset, the same process applies. Diagram out what's known about the field, perhaps drawing from your interviews and emails. Identify overlaps. Position yourself to pick up the necessary background to be within that overlap, to be the person somebody grabs when they need a certain kind of problem solved. If 4-year CS undergrads can do it, you, an experienced 30-something, can probably do it in 18 months. The technical training is ultimately all muscle memory, a thing you practice with monkey-see, monkey-do, over and over, until the task is familiar and the knowledge is memorized.
Although not everything technical is easy to grasp, in the broad view of getting involved and employed, it is actually that simple.
Re: Ask HN: How do I start over at 37?
#20Hit the gym: https://www.julian.com/guide/muscle/intro Grind leetcode: https://leetcode.com/
^ Unironically the best answer.