You might want to look into the Out of Sync Child. Honestly, having been in your shoes, it is hard. Might not be the best time to ramp up your stress level, but I know that’s a hard choice to make.
Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
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Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#12The only person I know who has done this semi-openly is the author Elizabeth Moon. Her son has autism which she believes is partly a sensory processing disorder (but that's probably an simplification of her position)
Unfortunately she was most open about this in a web forum which is now defunct. But various blogs may be of interest:
Her live journal (entries tagged autism) https://e-moon60.livejournal.com/tag/autism
The blog on the (fiction) book she wrote from the PoV of a character with autism: http://www.speedofdark-thebook.com/blog/?cat=46
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#13I think my nephew has this. The basic idea is they have low sensory perception and are not sufficiently copying adults' behavior, specifically communication.
Diet and therapy are working. Certain foods made him worse, specifically gluten. On day-1 the therapist determined his range of perception: he had no peripheral vision and could only see a about 5-feet forward also he had auditory perception issues.
Therapy is conducted within his perceivable range (which is increasing) and its objective is to get him to copy the therapist's behavior. The professions involved are occupational therapists and speech-language pathologists.
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#14Most of the diagnoses associated with the cluster of symptoms you mention are quite heritable, so (a) she'll probably be as OK as you are, (b) ask the grandparents if any of this sounds familiar, and if so what coping strategies they discovered, and (c) it might be worth giving noise canceling headphones a go at work yourself...
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#15Our son has the same thing. Patience, adapting, and time. Will require more patience in some scenarios. Finding adaptations. For example he hated hand dryers in bathrooms so we got ear muffs and he loved it. He was excited he could now use public bathrooms. Time, as they get older it’s always there but they self adapt. Now he uses hand dryers even though they annoy him - he learned to deal with it. It all works out over time.
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#16My youngest is like that. Severe ADHD. Opposition defiance disorder. She is amazing and exhausting.
We do a mix of give where we can. Foods that she can tolerate, clothing that doesn’t bother her. But also strict on expectations. She follows directions or gets a time out.
We had many horrible times trying to give her a 3 minute timeout. 90 minutes, 3 adults drenched in sweat. She would run out of timeout, we would bring her back.
However the better we did about staying on top it, the better she learned self control. She’s older now, still a pistol, but is generally very well behaved.
We watch her closely for migraines, as that runs in the family and is a cause of sensory issues for a lot of us.
We only use dye and fragrance free laundry soap which helps a lot. No scented anything in the house.
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#17Same boat here. When my 2nd child was around 5 was diagnosed with SPD (desires heavy input, sometimes auditory stimming) and autism. This is a journey and would recommend doing some reading. I can't recommend "The Power of Neurodiversity" by Armstrong enough to understand how every individual's mind works.
Each area (picky eating, social transitions) requires patience for incremental improvements. Also note that many of our social norms (at least in the USA) are not exactly fair to those neurodiverse individuals. Sometimes, self-awareness (when the child is older) will help as well.
Good luck and don't forget to love your child for who they are.
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#18You might want to rule out infection as a first step (strep and mycoplasma tests) especially if the changes were sudden.
My daughter had similar issues and ended up being diagnosed with PANS and later with autism. She didn’t have the typical autism characteristics, but we learned it’s often expressed differently in girls.
Long story short, she’s a high achiever and is studying to become an RN. Hang in there!
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#19Ask your kid details about whatever she doesn't seem to like.
Try cooking down fruit for nutrient dense calories.
Have you tried the tastiest, highest-quality foods you can figure out? [tasty produce, whole starch sources from good soil, decent cheese (Cabot aged cheddar or better), grassfed ideally local dairy/beef, wild fish, flavorful spices, etc.]
Make sure whatever else your kid is well rested, hydrated, and has sufficient blood sugar and nutrient levels.
Spend as much money on food and housekeeping and quiet, plentiful sleep for a few weeks as you would on doctors.
Pay attention to your kid. If there are unnatural sounds or smells that seem uniquely bad for her, don't expose her to those things...
Your kid's body reflects their needs. Be kind.
Sleep is extra extra important. Excellent mattress, mattress cover, blanket/comforter, pillow, sheets--cleaned regularly.
If her skin is sensitive and she sweats at night, sweat may make salt crystals and she'd be better off with seets changed every day...
Be kind. Be attentive. Be loving.
Re: Ask HN: My child was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. What to do?
#20I have two kiddos with sensory processing disorder, with various triggers.
My son (Ender) has it far worse than my daughter, and the biggest suggestion I offer is to disregard the opinions of others when you find methods to deal with meltdowns. Until we found a medication that worked for Ender, the meltdowns were catastrophic and the loss of control was overwhelming. Eventually I found that holding him tight near me eventually calmed him down. My arms wrapped around him like a great bear hug, pinning arms to the side so he cannot lash out and hurt others or break things (we lost two TVs before I figured this out). I'd even have to wrap my legs around his to prevent kicking. He would calm down after a time, and usually end up falling asleep and taking a short nap.
We purchased a nice weighted blanket and that now plays this role of comfort during his times of need. Finding Nemo was magical as well when he was beginning to melt down. The relatively quiet scenes would mesmerize him and eventually the meltdown would pass. We'd also use his favorite food as a motivation to get through particularly arduous tasks, like when he started kindergarten.
The other side of this coin is to not feel guilt or shame when meltdowns occur in public. His brain is receiving an overwhelming barrage of external stimuli and he didn't know yet how best to manage this stress and anxiety. The children will need to be around others and in stressful environments, so public meltdown is inevitable. Whenever it happens, I pick him up and remove him from the situation temporarily. You'll get side eye or accusatory glances from others who simply do not understand, but you're doing your best meeting your child's needs. Apply the calming methodologies that work for your child (I will head to the car and snuggle my son until the storm has passed), then praise them for calming down and tell them they will be going back to that environment, but it's okay. Over time, both you and your child will improve -- meltdowns will become more rare, and coping will become easier.
Finally, look into occupational therapy. Ender went for a little over a year and has learned multiple coping mechanisms we use to this day (like deep breathing...the mantra for him is "smell the flowers, blow out the candles).
I'm in a very fortunate situation for work, where my employer is incredibly understanding of my domestic situations. I have incredibly flexible availability when needed and they trust me to accomplish what is needed. I'd talk to the potential employer and describe the situation before outright turning down the offer. See if they empathize and perhaps something can be worked out.
I am far from an expert in any of this, but I've learned a lot about my situation in the past 4 years. Please do not hesitate to ask any questions if you desire.
Best of luck, and remember two things: - This is no one's fault, least of all your's or the child's. - It gets better. It will never go away, but it gets better.