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Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

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Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#11

Post by armchairhacker »

freemint wrote: post #4
sp332 wrote: post #2

Is there a food bank in the area? That could at least help with one of the issues. I think it's at least worth asking about assistance like SNAP (used to be called "food stamps") https://www.tn.gov/humanservices/for-families/supplemental-n... , Community Service Block Grant agency for her county https://www.tn.gov/humanservices/for-families/community-serv... , Home Energy Assistance Program https://www.benefits.gov/b…

As far as i can see that food bank is totally overrun according to local news https://www.local3news.com/local-news/chattanooga-area-food-... . I will relay the other links but since she doesn't have children I am not sure in how far the /for-families/ links will be useful. She has been applying for SNAP.

Also EBT, and she can possibly make some money doing Uber/Lyft/Instacart/Instawork.

You are 100% right that it's hard to get a decent job in the US without connections and/or experience, especially in this economy and especially without formal education. Ideally there is some grant which will let someone like her go through high school and college, but I really have no idea. You will have to look for places like https://www.reddit/r/povertyfinance for people who understand poverty better much than I do.

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#12

Post by freemint »

1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

You are right. This kind of justified anxiety fets stacked on top. But she is currently not in a position to move. I have already done the equivalent of a FIOA to German immigration office[1] to get their current evaluation of the trans situation in the US and whether they qualify for asylum status.

They don't take it as serious as they should. However atleast the orders how to deal with trans peoples seem respectful of their status and some of the complications.

[1] https://fragdenstaat.de/anfrage/bewertung-der-menschenrechts...

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#13

Post by avmich »

1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

Is there a New England state with acceptably good conditions for trans people? Being physically closer to your original state could be really useful.

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#14

Post by cwiggs »

1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

Generally curious, how are trans people loosing access to health care in red states?

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#16

Post by armchairhacker »

avmich wrote: post #13
1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

Is there a New England state with acceptably good conditions for trans people? Being physically closer to your original state could be really useful.

Eastern Massachusetts. Also there are literally programs to help people like her move, such as https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/

But unless her friends are also moving its a hard sell. Her living situation won't be much better if at all, it could even be worse because everything is also more expensive and she knows no-one.

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#17

Post by 1attice »

1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#18

Post by 1attice »

cwiggs wrote: post #14
1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

Generally curious, how are trans people loosing access to health care in red states?

This is easily googled. Look what just happened in Missouri. Florida is next.

And then there's the fact that dozens of red states have banned health care for trans youth.

We will die by the dozen. By our own hand; by gunshot. 'Death before detransition,' as we say.

But you will remember who really pulled the trigger, and who did nothing. It can and should haunt you.

Re: Ask HN: American friends life is falling apart badly. What can I do to help?

#19

Post by freemint »

cwiggs wrote: post #14
1attice wrote: post #10

She needs to move. The psychological pressure we trans people are under in red states is breathtaking. Many of us are losing our health care. This is not a minor thing for us -- speaking personally, I'd rather die. Even if it hasn't happened directly to her, it will have happened to her friends. We all talk. It's hard not to empathize with one another. I myself feel like I'm a tiny leaf on a river of grief, most days…

Generally curious, how are trans people loosing access to health care in red states?

I encourage you look into reports from amnesty international, they document such stuff well. They are usually a year behind on stuff, the German report about 2022 reads

> Darüber hinaus wurden in verschiedenen Bundesstaaten Dutzende von Gesetzentwürfen eingebracht, die darauf abzielten, den Zugang zu gender-bestätigender Gesundheitsversorgung ("gender-affirming healthcare") für trans Jugendliche einzuschränken. [1]

Which i would loosely translate: Different states introduced dozens of law proposals which aim to reduce access to gender-affirming health care for trans teenagers.

In 2023 a lot more stuff has happened [2] and might be in preperation.

Gender-affirming care is as far as the data suggests the best way to treat ICD-10 F64.0 and sub categories. Denying people those treatments to a legitimate and internationally recognized diagnosis is depriving them health care. Health care is a human right [3].

[1] https://www.amnesty.de/informieren/amnesty-report/usa-2022#s...

[2] https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/diversity-inclu...

[3] https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/Documents/Publicat...

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