Yes, and I think it is because it is about being evaluated (inevitably). Standups should be about teammates discussing tasks among each other, this is less pressure and creates more of a helpful atmosphere. However in most teams/companies I've been in, it just feels like devs have to spoon feed managers on the status. Just saying it would be nice to focus on work and have leaders be more proactive in understanding what is going on instead of having these expectations that you will explain everything perfectly while they evaluate your performance.
Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
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Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#12A previous job was like this, and I am a very uneven worker - sometimes I do a lot when I'm in the flow, sometimes I hardly do anything (despite wanting to).
On those days when I hadn't done much, my manager, the product manager, and the project manager, would all imply pretty strongly I hadn't done enough at the next standup, and ask why I hadn't done more, and so on. Pretty stressful.
What I started to do was, when I had a good day, hold some work back. I'd only "git push" some of the work I'd done. Only move some of the tickets along. At standup I'd just mention the first half of the work. That way when a day inevitably came along when I hadn't done much, I could claim to have "done" the second half of the work I'd previously done.
My relationship with the various managers greatly improved.
I don't know if this way of working was really beneficial to the company, but it was the company that was setting up my incentive structure this way, I was simply responding to it. I got the same amount of work done in total anyway so I figured it didn't really matter too much morally.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#13Pre-lockdown, when standup meetings were actual meetings, I had a tough time dealing with them because of my hearing loss. Our meetings are engineer - only, led by a project manager. In the olden days they were literally people standing around a block of cubicles, talking (or mumbling) to their shoes. I got absolutely nothing out of them, couldn't hear a thing. When I told my manager that, his response was "too bad, attend anyway". The meetings are now virtual, and work much, much better for me.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#14I usually write what I'm going to say before the meeting on a OneNote. It helps a lot, just to be able to read off the text, which works on online meeting/standup. Also to help come up with something to say, if you don't have a lot to say, is to make a note of anything interesting that you run throughout the day, like mentioning about a bug you found (don't go into detail, just mention you found a minor bug you had to fix), or a small struggle you had with getting the library to compile, etc. No one is going to question the value you deliver based on the standup... hopefully.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#15I was in a similar situation, and have a life-long history of panic attacks. I would have them during stand-ups, which was absolute hell. I went on to face this, becoming a public speaker (technically speaking) and also a professional skydiver and occasional BASE jumper.
Things that help me in general are cardio, weightlifting, mindfulness exercises and meditation. Knowing I can walk away from a situation and be ok financially is huge.
Things that helped me specifically with daily stand-ups:
1. Preparing questions. Asking a probing question puts the pressure on the person that you feel is evaluating you. If you have a blocker, begin with asking the other engineer if they have completed that dependency. Always have a question in the chamber. Be careful not to throw others under the bus, especially if they are anxious or junior. The best questions are directed at the higher ups. After a year I learned that the executives were nervous about my questions and joked about my reputation as a "hard-hitter". That really helped me to feel more in control. Never put the company in a bad light with your phrasing.
2. Volunteer. Being third in line is panic inducing. Combat this by jumping the gun. I was often shocked to hear myself say "I'll go first" or "I'll start". My heart rate would jump a little but my brain didn't even have time to sort out my self-trickery before. The relief you feel after doing this is incredible. Also, there's something inherently calming about deciding to speak, rather than being expected to.
3. Conversational style. Providing an update can be terrifying. Having a casual conversation is [hopefully] not. Make it a back-and-forth. Not all of your questions need to be interrogations, simply passing the buck with a softball like "Can you clarify..." or "I'm thinking of doing this, what's your opinion?" make all the difference.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#16Standups are supposed to be uncomfortable for everyone which is where they got their name: they are supposed to be 5-10 minute tops run throughs where everyone is standing to remind them to not get too comfortable or talk too long.
The problem may not be entirely you: 30 minutes each sounds like at least some some of your coworkers in those meetings are far too "comfortable" and taking too much time giving too many details that don't matter to what the standup is supposed to get across. (It's not supposed to be a list of all the work you've done, but to find places where you can cross-cut: work you did that may help someone else but neither of you realize it; problems you have that maybe someone else solved earlier.)
The other indication that there may be process breakdowns around you outside of what standup is supposed to mean is that standups were originally supposed to be only engineering (in theory). A "product standup" with directors, executives, and managers doesn't sound at all like what a standup is supposed to be, to me, it sounds like a daily micro-management checkin meeting.
You probably don't have any power to fix a broken process, but if it gives you some small comfort, it may not be entirely just you in this case. Your meetings may be asking more of you than they are supposed to be and of course that adds additional anxiety and stress.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#17You are overthinking it. Unless someone has a problem with you, they most likely don't notice how long your take if you are quick. They also notice if others speak too long, whether they say something or not. If you are getting your work done, they most likely happy you a brief with your update.
The biggest things people should be looking for are where you are struggling as evidenced by you working on the same things too many days in a row (too many days in a row is a variable) or you are asking for help, i.e. what your blockers or issues are.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#18[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#19I have to say, the only feeling I experience during standups like these is an incredible sense of boredom.
Re: Ask HN: Does anyone else have anxiety during standup?
#20This anxiety is very common. In the best, most blameless organizational cultures, team members are allowed to say "I didn't get much done yesterday" on an occasional basis and are forgiven for it - but I realize that reality isn't often like that.
In reality, sometimes you have to just BS things, as others have suggested, by holding some work back from your big flow-state pushes, or by dithering around with words like "I looked into...". It sounds like your standups are more about making management feel better than they are about engineers removing obstacles from each other. That's a hard problem to solve and probably outside the scope of what you can affect. Just do the best you can to survive and be successful in the situation you're in.
If I had any advice to give, it's to learn from how harmful and toxic this pattern is, and as you move up into seniority and management, make efforts to not repeat this mistake. Standup should be a time to discuss how the TEAM is making progress on delivering value to customers, not a time to compare individual efforts against each other. Managers should be involved enough in the lives of their teams to be able to make disciplinary or promotional calls for individual contributors without standup being where they receive that signal.