Relax. Your brain is still growing. Give it a few years, try some different things, stop comparing yourself to others and you'll find your calling.
Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
11–20 of 30 posts
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#12You keep on posting here man, all with different versions of the same question "How can I become better?" without doing much follow up or immediate change/improvement. You're in a state of analysis paralysis.
At the end of the day you have to suck it up and do it yourself. No answer will ever be satisfactory without effort put into it.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#13Get a helpdesk job, work your way up into IT, take on projects as you learn. Youll be a Dev in no time. It doesnt take many special smarts and youll eventually find out that 90+% of people working in tech have no CS degree or educational background in tech. And actually a ton of the work is just "plumbing". Most of the job is not fancy advanced algorithms and almost all of the practical learning takes place on the job. the stuff a person learns in school has almost no relation to actual every day work in tech.
Just get an IT/Helpdesk job and you will have a tech career in a few years. It worked for me, and most of the Devs/SREs/SeniorIT/Networking people I know.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#14You keep on posting here man, all with different versions of the same question "How can I become better?" without doing much follow up or immediate change/improvement. You're in a state of analysis paralysis. At the end of the day you have to suck it up and do it yourself. No answer will ever be satisfactory without effort put into it.
Yes, you're right. I would delete this post, but I cannot anymore.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#15I can give you advice and help you overcome many limiting beliefs you have. I have created a dedicated service to people who want to enter
Lmao wtf
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#16> I've begun to talk less to friends because I keep comparing myself to them, and I'm the example on who you should not try to be. Definitely stop doing that and that. Having people around you who have their act together is helpful. Remember: monkey see monkey do. And that final expression of your self image is the root of the issue. That will not go away if you cut yourself off from friends, it will only get worse.…
I am seeing a therapist, for years. I struggle a lot with jealousy, but it's the fact that most of them are already successful and I've failed so much. I talk to them and the only thing I am reminded of is how much their lives are better than mine. It's even more depressing when one of them calls me at 9pm to hang out and I'm like I don't WFH unlike you, and my commute is horrible, so sorry, no. It's all I think abou…
There is another old saying: don't compare your insides to someone else's outside. Your successful friends could be stressed out nervous wreaks. And there might be people out there that look at you and say: he's got a bad commute but his job don't stress him out and he gets along with and enjoys being with his parents, how cool, I'm jealous. The big question about what to do with your life is important, but it seems like your bad commute is problem you could and should deal with first. It seems like WFH is out of the question but you could ask to come in earlier or later to avoid traffic. If they won't accommodate you find a job with a better commute and or closer to home. You are in a much better position than many people to take that risk. Take some time to reflect on all of the things you have to be grateful for and be kind to your self and protect your self from people who are not kind to you or who try to make themselves feel better by undermining you. Good luck.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#17Why do you think you did poorly in your CS degree?
CS schools in Spain, France, Italy, etc. differ greatly in terms of difficulty and quality of teaching. You might thrive now if you choose the right environment?
Some schools in Northern Europe are free and might be a bit more practical. There's also the option to follow a simple 2-year associate degree and then transfer to a real university and get a BSc with a bit of extra coursework.
I recommended this option to a friend who had dropped out of his BSc and he did fine this second time. If you need further info, feel free to contact me. Email is on my profile.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#18I think you need to approach this from the opposite direction. Conventional path is study, find a job, network to find a better job. I suggest you first network to find where you'd like end up, and then ask those people for advice on how to get there. It's motivating to see the finish line from the very beginning.
Try to go to free conferences or meetups or networking events, and be honest that you're shopping around for a career change. Some of the people who aren't looking for jobs themselves will probably be intrigued enough to offer decent advice and insight.
You'll get much better and quicker results if you aim for 10x networking and socialization. If it makes you uncomfortable because you feel like a failure, tell people you just felt inspired to do something different. Everyone has that feeling, but few people actually act on it. Don't let their choices hold you back.
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#19> I've begun to talk less to friends because I keep comparing myself to them, and I'm the example on who you should not try to be. Definitely stop doing that and that. Having people around you who have their act together is helpful. Remember: monkey see monkey do. And that final expression of your self image is the root of the issue. That will not go away if you cut yourself off from friends, it will only get worse.…
I am seeing a therapist, for years. I struggle a lot with jealousy, but it's the fact that most of them are already successful and I've failed so much. I talk to them and the only thing I am reminded of is how much their lives are better than mine. It's even more depressing when one of them calls me at 9pm to hang out and I'm like I don't WFH unlike you, and my commute is horrible, so sorry, no. It's all I think abou…
I felt this way at 23, and this is such a damaging mindset that im only just moving past it at 32. You have been raised in a generation that is somehow even more comparative than mine, which is utterly crazy. What is interesting is, most of the emotionally intelligent people responding to this post, will likely not be the epitome of this website, so its important, if you read any good advice to think it's the norm. The culture of this sector is emotionally undeveloped but technically brilliant.
Often, your position occurs due to a couple of things -
1. Emotional turbulence due to difficult upbringing (remember, simply going to school and feeling low on the social hierachy due to factors out of your control can be a key factor here)
2. Dishonesty. If you at some point have developed lying as a skill to protect yourself from difficult people and circumstances, this absolutely poisons your internal psychology. The part of your brain that handles problem solving (and your brain, generally speaking) will always look for the most efficient way you know to solve a problem. If simply altering reality to fit the desired outcome is done a lot, it becomes the default way you solve things.
Additionally, other people, educators, and society is becoming increasingly based on bullshit, which makes it even harder. People will say things like "you got it lucky" or suggest that "X is talented at Y" when they really have no idea, it can totally confound your ability to make decisions and move forward, and your ability to tell fact from fiction.
All people are generally arranged to be interested in "things" or "people". They are statistically associated with gender but lets ignore that for now.
Make sure when looking at tech that you are interested in the tech itself and not the people in it, or the " idea" of being in tech. You need to be fundamentally interested in things not people to go down the technical route. It is achieveable otherwise, but you will be unremarkable and lag behind which will cause long term stress. My advice is to focus more on understanding yourself, and if you can decide on something you think is worth pursuing then it is worth doing the best job you possibly can at it. Dont compare just try to better yourself over time. We all constantly overestimate what can be done in a year, and underestimate what can be done in 4. Good luck, and do an I PIP NEO personality questionnaire (longer one) it will help form a starting point. https://www.personal.psu.edu/~j5j/IPIP/
Re: Ask HN: Paid Career Advice Services for people in their mid-20s
#20Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am seeing a therapist, for years. I struggle a lot with jealousy, but it's the fact that most of them are already successful and I've failed so much. I talk to them and the only thing I am reminded of is how much their lives are better than mine. It's even more depressing when one of them calls me at 9pm to hang out and I'm like I don't WFH unlike you, and my commute is horrible, so sorry, no. It's all I think abou…
There is another old saying: don't compare your insides to someone else's outside. Your successful friends could be stressed out nervous wreaks. And there might be people out there that look at you and say: he's got a bad commute but his job don't stress him out and he gets along with and enjoys being with his parents, how cool, I'm jealous. The big question about what to do with your life is important, but it seems…
Thank you.