The way you describe your problem makes me think that you might need the assistance of a therapist to overcome it.
If only the task of finding and choosing the therapist, and then actually visiting him didn't also trigger the cycle.
Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
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Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#12Maybe not the most popular person, but I think Jordan Peterson has some really nice lectures and talks about this subject in YouTube. Also about fear.
Insickness in this thread also pointed this out: start with the smallest step.
And when it comes to fear: become braver. What helped me a lot was to accept fear.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#13There are more direct approaches, but, recognize those thoughts as bubbling up from lower levels of brain function, that they are not who you are nor are they your destiny nor are you required to act upon them, leave them be, and do what you need to be doing, with your attention on the doing. If you engage with the thoughts (by trying to change them or suppress them or argue with them), you simply strengthen the associated neurology. If you respond to the thoughts with avoidance, you strengthen that associated neurology.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#14This was a slow process, but:
1. Regular written self-reflection, i.e., keeping a journal and
2. Re-framing "failures" as learning experiences; forgive yourself
helped me a lot.
The written part was important to me because it forced me to revisit my previous thoughts and reevaluate them in light of what had happened since last time I wrote.
(2) also helped me do things with the mind-set that "failure" wasn't actually failure. The goal was to try and learn from it.
I didn't get around to doing this until after school, but I wish I had. In your situation, I'd try to get myself to do the assignment with a quick pass early on leaving notes for things I wasn't sure about. Take a break, then revisit and revise. Afterwards, write in your journal what worked well and what didn't. Write about what you want to try next time differently if some things come to mind.
Hope you find a solution that works for you. E-mail is in my profile if you want to talk more about what's worked for me.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#15What you want to do is try to get past the emotional part of it. I find laughing helps. You want a kind of telling stories around the campfire attitude about it.
For example, I once spend 2 weeks trying to decide on a startup name, for a startup that barely even exists anymore. It's funny now, and I think about that when I'm trying to pick names for things now. But in those 2 weeks it was not funny! I felt terribly guilty during that time.
Try to take it / treat it lightly. Joke about it. I know that's hard to do when you're in the middle of it though.
Keep in mind the point is to actually do the thing. Maybe my way doesn't work as well for and you find something else. I think it's worthwhile to experiment with different ideas here.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#16I’m exactly the same, turned my 3 year degree into a 5 year slog because I’d get too anxious to do assignments or even exams. Took me a long time (decades) to learn about anxiety and it’s impacts, so you’re doing well to be aware of it earlier.
Therapy & mindfulness has been a huge help for me. It’s helped me be more aware of how I’m feeling, and to take steps when I’m feeling anxious. For example, I’ve got a regular reminder in my Phone to check in with how I’m feeling, to actively think about what I’m avoiding, and to consider what it is I’m afraid of that’s causing me to avoid. If I’m feeling anxious or avoidant, then I do something to help, like try to ”explore” why I’m feeling that way, and to do some mindful breathing / grounding exercises.
You’ve done really well to ask here for advice, being vulnerable and open is a huge first step. I’d recommend seeing a professional therapist or counsellor if you can, especially while you’re studying - your education institution should have some people who can help.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#17If you keep that up eventually your head will dry up and fall off. Stop that.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#18Note, I have a bias as I had anxiety through ADHD.
That being said both Anxiety and ADHD have the same exact dopamine problem which means that analogues of dopamine and serotonin treat anxiety if it's cause is genetic in nature.
I do not know if the poster has a genetic version of anxiety, however if they do here is what I take for my ADHD that works for anxiety:
L-theanine ashwagandha(its what is in Maca!) L-dopa
and my further twist is to take a tablespoon if raw Cacao powder in mornings as it has two ingredients caffiene and anandamide.
Anandamine is what interacts with CBD receptors, i.e. if you want to get around the TCH in CBD oil this is the way to do it as anandamine obviously is not tested for i the THC tests and there are no addictions associated with anandamine.
Caution, it does not solve the emotional past obstacle you have set up for yourself. to solve that part you have to drastically change your life from consuming to doing in the form of making and creating and communicating. And yes, it is in fact a lot of work. But, I can tell if you make the honest effort towards this life-change you will be rewarded with the amazing stuff you can do once that life-change take hold. IMHO
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#19The way you describe your problem makes me think that you might need the assistance of a therapist to overcome it.
It may not help in the moment, but best money I ever spent was going to a therapist weekly, or more often, for about 2 years. Many universities offer free mental health services. Therapy didn’t fix everything, but it did help with perfectionism and especially with black-and-white thinking.
Re: Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?
#20For me, starting anything is the most tough part, but once I start something I will work on it, I am good. What I do is to turn on the music and make myself start. For some tasks, I usually get engrossed so much that I don't hear the music or lyrics at all. Other times, I force myself to do something with the beat of the music. ( I listen to all kinds of music, for some reason lo-fi playlists won't work for starting my work, I listen to some pop or rap or rock)