1. Run through the tutorial (built-in)
2. Try out org-mode
3. Try out magit
I've been using emacs for 20 years, but those two things are what will keep me using emacs, even if I pull up another editor or IDE for programming sometimes.
4. Try out evil-mode for vim keybindings (since you already know vim).
elisp (no hyphen) isn't bad, it's actually a decent lisp (this part is opinion) now that lexical scope are the default instead of dynamic scope. Performance has improved with the recent work to add JIT compilation, as well. I really have only two gripes about the language, but they aren't going to stop me from using it: I wish elisp had real modules/packages for namespacing things, and that it had better concurrency support.
I don't get the RSI thing, you do use control a lot, but I found mapping that to caps lock made it a lot more comfortable, plus I never use caps lock as caps lock anyways. But if you switch on evil-mode, you'll avoid most of the chords while editing text anyways.