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Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#11

Post by hos234 »

It's hard to overcome a fear, if one is surrounded by people triggering fear or handling their own fears in unproductive ways. Many do this unconsciously so don't judge.

Lot of folk take advantage of other's insecurities because it works. And because it works, they train others to follow their methods. And that leads to a culture of fear.

So be conscious of who you are dealing with. Otherwise it can get very confusing.

Trust and respect are key. Find people you trust and respect based on their behavior towards others. They will be your sources of confidence and reduce your sensitivity to different types of triggers.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#12

Post by airbreather »

The most dangerous person in the world is someone who never makes a mistake - because you know they are somewhere, you just have no idea where.

Making mistakes isn't the problem. hiding them, or not being open to the possibility you are making them is far, far worse.

Someone who makes a mistake, catches it and fixes it - expert. Should be kept at all costs unless making the same mistakes over and over.

Someone who makes a mistake and then hides it or spends more time arguing why they were right in some non-existent edge case world - dangerous, get rid of immediately.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#14

Post by CameronBarre »

You have to believe in yourself, beyond any personal conception of career advancement or professionalism.

Unless you work in a hellish organization, most people appreciate a person who can own a mistake and then take the required action to correct it.

It's when people are completely blind sided by the consequence of a mistake that you knew about, but kept to yourself that things start to get dicey.

In the end, everyone makes mistakes. If you work on the most critical of systems where mistakes are life and death, then I pity you, but if you fall outside of the realm, just be honest about what happened with whoever it matters to.

As others have pointed out, you can help yourself by practicing risk management. If you're taking a risk, try to hedge it.

I think most importantly, don't be scared of your job.

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#15

Post by blablabla123 »

For me the first situation like this were my studies. I wasn't sure if I might be too stupid for this. But after I passed one of the important and difficult exams, I had a reference that I could build on.

Same for new jobs, once I've mastered one difficult piece of work, I know I have passed this milestone and afterwards I stop worrying about that.

So yeah, humans make errors including you and me :) If the company culture gives you really bad feedback on this, it's their problem, not yours. I think it is common knowledge that overly bad feedback makes things worse not better. Everybody thinks that criticism should always be constructive. I don't think so, there is a place also for destructive criticism. Not always when we see an error or problem, we must have a solution. Otherwise it would mean we only work on solutions we already know which is paradox. And if most feedback is any form of criticism, I think that's also a sign for a problematic culture and possibly that people make up questionable tasks.

In any case, I think it should be balanced, most criticism must be constructive. I find the framework of non-violent communication very useful for discussing uncomfortable things.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#16

Post by awinder »

In teams that I’ve lead and the work I do, I’ve tried to really make sure that 1 person is not solely responsible for anything. We are a team, at least 2 people are involved between dev/review/testing/deployment, and we own success & failure together.

You want constructive criticism in a safe space, which is before the accident. So work with your fellow devs before you release code to minimize prod mistakes. If you’re not in a workplace where that’s possible then more mistakes will happen, and that’s okay too. If you’re getting blamed for more mistakes happening in an environment that has been set up for more mistakes to happen? Idk, get out or ignore it because collective insanity has taken over.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#18

Post by halfjoking »

awinder wrote: post #16

In teams that I’ve lead and the work I do, I’ve tried to really make sure that 1 person is not solely responsible for anything. We are a team, at least 2 people are involved between dev/review/testing/deployment, and we own success & failure together. You want constructive criticism in a safe space, which is before the accident. So work with your fellow devs before you release code to minimize prod mistakes. If you’r…

Yes if you’re the single point of failure - then it’s the companies fault and not you when things go wrong. Most places try to save money and take shortcuts. Just accept they took the risk and they get what they pay for.

Re: Ask HN: How do you work with the fear of your own incompetence?

#20

Post by NIL8 »

hos234 wrote: post #11

It's hard to overcome a fear, if one is surrounded by people triggering fear or handling their own fears in unproductive ways. Many do this unconsciously so don't judge. Lot of folk take advantage of other's insecurities because it works. And because it works, they train others to follow their methods. And that leads to a culture of fear. So be conscious of who you are dealing with. Otherwise it can get very confusin…

This is a good answer, but I feel like it will go over most people's heads. Knowing who to ignore and who to value in the workplace is a very valuable tool. Not sure if this type of insight comes from instinct or experience.
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