The use of psilocybin has been found to be extremely effective in helping to break serious addictions, including alcoholism. The exact mechanism through which this occurs isn't known, but it might be worth investigating - especially if you live in a country where clinical trials are taking place.
Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
11–20 of 59 posts
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#12There is a subreddit [1] about this where you can get a lot of suggestions and help.
As suggested before, breaking out of your bad habits is a great way to get started:
- never find yourself alone in a room with your computer (put the desk in the living room, etc.)
- get an app like Loop habit tracker [2] to track your "porn free" days and keep the streak going!
- do more activities with your loved ones (any kind of activities)
(I'm currently 65 days in. I know how it feels. It gets better with time. The fact that you've reached for help means you're already on the good way! Good luck to you!)
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#13This isn't an end all be all, but it can raise the barrier to entry: route the DNS of all your devices, including your router, through family-filter-dns.cleanbrowsing.org. OpenDNS is another option.
Second, see a therapist who specializes in this. Groups mentioned in this thread are good too. Change your routine and find someone who can hold you accountable. Go to bed at the same time as wife, find an activity/hobby to redirect energy and re-sensitize.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#14I conquered porn 7 years ago after 14 years of addiction, and so will you. The answer is found through prayer, which will lead you to the ultimate problem solver. If you're looking for the specifics you can reach me here https://pastebin.com/7gVgkGBx
lol. Trying to get around the rules by linking to a pastebin that contains a short link to your church I think will make you pretty unpopular.
Best approach would be for OP to consider therapy with a psychologist, after all it is a mental health issue, addiction, dependence etc, covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it. That is about as good as trying to "pray the gay away".
They will likely run through https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy which is used for a lot of things like that.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#15I conquered porn 7 years ago after 14 years of addiction, and so will you. The answer is found through prayer, which will lead you to the ultimate problem solver. If you're looking for the specifics you can reach me here https://pastebin.com/7gVgkGBx
lol. Trying to get around the rules by linking to a pastebin that contains a short link to your church I think will make you pretty unpopular. Best approach would be for OP to consider therapy with a psychologist, after all it is a mental health issue, addiction, dependence etc, covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it. That is about as good as trying to "pray the gay away". They will likely…
> Trying to get around the rules
Care to share which rules?
> covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it
I'm sharing facts about what really worked for me. Are you calling me a liar?
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#16I know a lot of guys who have successfully quit porn, and what they say helps is being really vulnerable with guys who have the same struggle. Part of it is looking at the emotional needs they are trying to fill with porn. Asking themselves questions like what is this doing for me in the moment? (Given that they don't want to be doing it, why are they actually doing it?) They also build habits of sharing how their week was emotionally with a small group of like-minded guys. Generally over the course of about a year they find themselves building habits where they learn what their emotional needs are, ways to meet their needs, and increasing ability to be courageous in things like confronting their wives or not responding in anger when their wife accuses them.
I can't speak from experience on porn, but this same approach has helped me a lot with other unhealthy habits. I've been doing it about a year, and I am much better at identifying what I am feeling and really desiring, and as a result, the unhealthy habits are less appealing because it's clear they won't give me what I'm really looking for. (In my case it's "belonging") I still don't have a solution for my desire to belong yet, but I am now able to sit in the pain and sadness and disappointment instead of trying to numb it.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#17Go to a library. Find a section of books on psychology or self-help or spirituality, better if it is more distant from where you are now. Go through the books and pick the ones that "look at you" as Russians say. You'll know which ones. Read and see where this takes you.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#18Earlier quoted context omitted.
lol. Trying to get around the rules by linking to a pastebin that contains a short link to your church I think will make you pretty unpopular. Best approach would be for OP to consider therapy with a psychologist, after all it is a mental health issue, addiction, dependence etc, covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it. That is about as good as trying to "pray the gay away". They will likely…
> Trying to get around the rules Care to share which rules? > covering it up with an imaginary man in the sky isn't treating it I'm sharing facts about what really worked for me. Are you calling me a liar?
> Care to share which rules?
Could be considered as advertising, spruiking, or spamming.
There must be a reason you linked to a pastebin with a bit.ly link - that's pretty dodgy.
> I'm sharing facts about what really worked for me
Facts that cannot be verified.
> Are you calling me a liar?
It would not be the first time someone on the internet lied. Also nice try in dropping that red herring there.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#19I myself had a similar issue. I managed to quit for two years and even though now I do watch once in a while, I think I do it in a much healthier frequency.
The suggestions I will give are partly based on experience (even though I had a slightly different situation). I also include some reasoning but it is not necessarily correct.
I assume the main problem is that you need "heavy" eye-candy to get turned on. In general your tolerance has build up and you need to lower it.
1. Focus on lighter forms. For example try to avoid watching videos at all, instead maybe try just reading sexually exciting stories that may or may not contain images at all. This will let your brain fill in the gaps and build the images. Then do what you have to do to get over that urge (i.e. masturbate). I believe this will lower your "turn-on" threshold.
2. Do what you have to do as soon as possible. When you need to masturbate just do it and get over with it. Don't spend 90% of your time trying to excite your brain with content. Try to use your imagination. If you have to get some content try to avoid videos and visual content. Once you are done you will not need the porn as your body did what it had to do.
I think the following two apply to addiction in general:
3. Avoid places that your brain has associated with your addiction (ex. If your addiction kicks-in when you are home alone after work, until your wife comes home, then try going for a coffee and come home later when your wife is home)
4. Avoid activities that your brain has associated with your addiction (ex. if the addiction kicks-in when you are on social media try staying away, if it kicks in when you are in the toilet, try to bring something that will distract your attention)
The next two suggestions depends on the situation
5. It may or may not be a good idea to discus this with your wife. I cannot advice on that but you could consider it. Maybe she is willing to help.
6. Maybe you can discus about spicing things up (whether or not you go into full detail on your "problem").
Some other points that I feel in my case played a role. (They might be completely irrelevant to you and they might even have been for me)
7. Try to stick to a healthy or at least healthy-ish diet (I avoided fast food and sugar products as much as possible). I believe a healthy diet will make it easier for you to get excited with less sexual content.
8. Exercise, this might even distract you from your "bad" habit as it will take some time out of your day for a very good cause of making you healthier in general.
9. Reduce sugar consumption. I think sugar excites the brain in a way that makes it harder to further excite or something (raises the "turn-on" threshold and giving it its dose, I don't know)
10. I don't know about this from experience but since the entire thing is about addiction and brain excitement I am sure staying away from drugs must be absolutely relevant.
I am not a marriage expert or have any kind of expertise on the matter so I am not giving any professional advice. This is just my personal experience and I will not take any responsibility, but you can probably use your judgment on that.
Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit
#20It of course depends on the relationship to your wife, but one of the first steps might be to come clean to her. - Take the steps mentioned in other posts (go to the subreddit, read up on psychology, see a psychologist, change your routine), and then share with your wife. Not only will it make her feel better, she might be able to help you with the necessary steps.