I'm in a similar boat. My whole life I've been an idea
factory. The trade-off for me has been that summoning the focus required to implement anything myself is like pulling teeth, let alone choosing which idea to implement in the first place. Despite this I'm just as capable as any other developer, but like you getting my priorities in order has proven difficult.
In fact, I've spent the past six years of my life working towards an idea that's largely consumed me. It started small and expanded in scope to something best described as a blueprint for a future FAANG-scale company. Yet I'm as far away from realizing the idea as ever, and I've paid an enormous social and financial price for allocating so much time in pursuit of it.
Pursuing such things is best done with solid financial, emotional and social footing. I had very little of those when I started, and I basically buckled under the weight of them by the end. It's like taking a road trip, if your emotional gas tank is half empty when you start, you're going to be pushing your car across the desert in the end.
The upshot is I've now found an overriding purpose to my life, but ironically that purpose is now requiring me to think more instrumentally than ever.
That means getting a job or otherwise making money, giving my love life more attention, whatever I can do to make myself happy and financially stable. After so many years I've come to realize that you can't do great work if you ain't happy. Likewise being crushed under financial pressure. In practice, the mythology of a lone badass being driven by sheer will only goes so far.
>I feel there are only so many years living this lifestyle until I have passed the point of no return.
I can't speak to your situation, but it sounds like you may need to pull the same eject handle I did. The thing about ejecting is it allows you to avoid crashing and burning, only to fly another day.
There's no shame in it, and it doesn't mean you failed. On the contrary it's only the beginning. It took me forever to realize this.
Good luck.