Ask HN: Just found out that I’m gonna be a dad

Congratulations! One thing, not as major as some of what other commenters have mentioned but worth knowing, is that you should not feel guilty about buying used clothes/cribs/etc. for your kid. 1) most baby clothes get worn very few times before they're outgrown, so you can get them in good shape at garage sales or thrift shops 2) your baby doesn't care whether it is dressed stylishly or not, it just cares if it's comfortable and its parents are nearby 3) your kid will likely throw up on it five minutes of putting it on anyway :)

Some parents feel guilt about buying used things for their child, and end up spending a lot of $$ on new clothes, crib, etc. for a child that will not benefit from all that extra expense in the least. You don't want to cut corners on, for example, health care or quality food, but things like clothes because they are visible can cause some parents of newborns to spend a lot of money they don't need to. Save it for the things that actually matter.

Congratulations.

It's a good idea to have a list of must have's/nice to have supplies for the baby. Stick to the must have's, skip the others. You will spend less money and avoid having too much stuff afterwards.

The money you save this way you can use it as a buffer for the periods with limited income.

Children are only expensive because we have a consumer mentality that we feel compelled to pass on to them.

Try cloth diapers. Make your own baby food (look it up). Avoid buying all that plastic, processed, unnecessary crap that is associated with childhood.

Child care can be very expensive. Avoid it by getting rid of as many monthly expenses as possible. You don't need cable. You don't need a cellphone--you can get by with a 7-year-old cellular Android tablet and a $15 per month data-only plan, then use dirt cheap VOIP for home and away. Don't eat anything that you did not cook yourself from raw ingredients. Don't go to restaurants. Don't get takeout. Don't buy anything processed.

This will put you in a position of not having to work extra hours to pay high monthly bills, so you can hopefully look after your child yourself instead of paying someone to do it.

Never buy anything new. People throw away children's clothing by the ton. Same with everything else. Start a reuse and clothing exchange/donation program in your building/area. You will drown in kid's clothing, toys, and supplies.

Also plan ahead. Use a condom now to prevent the additional stress that would come with another child in the future. One is more than enough. There's almost 8 billion of these things running around and we're well into environmental collapse because we can't seem to regulate our numbers.

What field are you in?

You could switch to a corporate job for steady income and it usually comes with decent benefits.

Honestly, you really want to budget very well. We are planning on having a child sometime next year. We created a plan. Bought a house, remodeled. Now, we are going to aggressively save $50k, so we can survive 12 months without any income if we ever need to. After we save $50k, we will focus on aggressively paying of the house, and investing 1k a month. My health is so so, therefore I am not sure how much time I got.

As far as career goes, I will most likely start consulting in a few years, as I have experience with the full life cycle of applications, even forcefully extracting requirements.

Is it safe though? Like possible skin issues that can easily be transferred?